Justifying Day Care - Page 12

C-Mac · 03-26-2007, 06:50 PM

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune....justify_d.html
Justifying day care
"As if I don’t already feel guilty for putting my son in day care at the tender age of three months, a new study shows that the more time children spend in center-based care before kindergarten, the more likely they’ll fight, disobey and argue, according to their 6th grade teachers.

The increase in problem behavior was slight, but studies like this inspire me to look for the silver lining. And I always return to the same thing: "the hygiene hypothesis," or the belief that early exposure to germs helps the immune system develop properly.

While most children get six to eight infections a year, children in day care bring home twice that number, or about one a month. Day-care settings --or petri dishes, as my pediatrician calls them-- have high levels of indoor allergens and have been shown to incubate and spread antibiotic resistant bacteria.

This sounds like a no-brainer: Keep your children at home! But since most of us don't have that option--63 percent of U.S. children under the age of five spend 37 hours a week in child care--I manage to get through the work day by reminding myself my kids might turn out healthier in the long run.

Some research bears this out. A 2005 study in the British Medical Journal showed that children who attended day care in the first few months of life are less likely to develop leukemia than children who do not, most likely because they were protected from exposure to common infections. Similar associations have been reported for Type 1diabetes and allergies and asthma in children.

Still, even if they have stronger immune systems, is it worth sending them to day care if they’re going to have behavioral issues that persist at least until 6th grade? That, according to the research, published in the March/April issue of "Child Development," is up to the parents.

The researchers involved with the longest and most comprehensive study of child care in the U.S. cautioned that parenting quality was a much more important predictor of child development than the type, quantity or quality of child care.

Ultimately, while quality day care is important, a quality home environment matters more."

We had to do without some things obviuosly but the wife and I both agreed that her being at home while the children were young, was far more important than her having a career or us having a new car or house. We now get compliments all the time about our kids and their behavior and I truly feel that this is one of the main reasons why. I do understand that not everyone's situation allows mom to stay home(especially single moms), but I do think that there are many cases that if they just tried to live a little simpler, they could pull it off.

Mr. Plow · 03-27-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mile High Mania

These discussions are always such fun sometimes...

As fun as beating my head against a wall. Or spending time with my kids.

Mile High Mania · 03-27-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3

I think that's a total cop-out. Your parents were able to do that back then because they chose to make the sacrifices. You could today if you wanted to.

There's some truth to what you're saying, but without knowing his current situation... it's really not your place to suggest that.

vailpass · 03-27-2007, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

Christ. I give up. I'll just buy my kids some toys so that they can enjoy the tiny 17 hours a day that I give to them. At least I can enjoy some peace and quiet.

No need to feel guilty, I'm sure you feel like you're doing the best that you can.

vailpass · 03-27-2007, 04:56 PM

Just ****in' with ya'

NewChief · 03-27-2007, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mile High Mania

These discussions are always such fun sometimes...

Simplex3 is a Sanctimommy.

Believe me, parenting threads can be way more vicious and protracted than the best of DC. My wife used to hang out on some parenting blogs and discussion boards. They get sick. We just think people are invested and tied up in politics or religion. Start arguing about the best way to raise kids or insulting people who do it differently. It's a great way to start a vicious flame war.

bogie · 03-27-2007, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3

I think that's a total cop-out. Your parents were able to do that back then because they chose to make the sacrifices. You could today if you wanted to.

My Dad chose this because he could. If he couldn't pay the mortgage, he would have chosen something different. Trust me, we've had numerous talks about this. My Dad did what was necessary to pay the bills and raise his family. To judge people on anything other than this, is dumbassery.

bogie · 03-27-2007, 05:54 PM

For the record, my wife has been a stay at home Mom for 9 years. My daughter is 9. We believe this is the best for my daughter, however, I do not condemn those people that don't have the same opportunities as us. To suggest that everyone has the same opportunities as my wife and I is, well, dumbassery.

BucEyedPea · 03-27-2007, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Personally, I don't understand why this situation has to be so black and white - can't you have a career AND have normal, well-behaved kids that you see on a fairly regular basis? Some of you act like putting kids in daycare for any amount of time is the first step in raising a degenerate sociopath.

Because you really can't have both, and do both well, imo. At least NOT at the same time. Mothering is close to a full time job. There are way too many latch-key kids today.

I got a real reality check on this once I had mine and I was a feminist in college thinkin' I was gonna have this great career and kids too. Something has to take a back seat at least for a time. Kids don't and can't wait...they keep growing.

The reality is that high-powered careers come with loads of responsibility, extra hours and stress. There's a world of diffference when such ideas are written on paper than how it goes down in real life. Maria Shriver even wrote a small book on it.

Talk to any mother who has a demanding career, and you'll find some of the same things come up in our conversations....such as making more mistakes on the job etc.

Frankly, I found it exhausting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikesome

This is why my mother hates feminists with a passion. She has always felt like they denigrate her for staying at home and taking care of the kids.

Well, I just don't believe in what they say anymore. Ya' know what, some teachers told me at my kid's school that they NEVER see the parents. The nanny picks them up and goes to parent meetings too. These are the rich ones that drive in their Mercedes too. Lol!

Yes the denigration. I remember reading a woman's mag about this, even when filling out applications for a bank loan when one writes mother and/or housewife. The denigrating looks. So one woman decided to change the title to "domestic engineer." Suddenly the interest and validation: "Oh really! What is that all about? Sounds interesting."

.

It's actually the most important work any person will do. It's our future.

Mile High Mania · 03-27-2007, 07:19 PM

The really rich that do the day care thing to the extreme have a whole other bag of issues headed their way.

bogie · 03-27-2007, 07:34 PM

I'm not disagreeing that stay at home parenting is best. However, not everyone has the capacity to do what's best. Some folks do what they have to do to survive. I have a problem with people that generalize. To me they are generally talking out of their ass.

Simplex3 · 03-27-2007, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bogie

I have a problem with people that generalize. To me they are generally talking out of their ass.

KCinNY · 03-27-2007, 08:37 PM

I wouldn't let my 14 month old little girl anywhere near a daycare center.

Even at the nice, expensive daycare centers, eight kids(aged 6 weeks to 12 months) are being watched by 2 "teachers" who earn about $7.00 an hour.

Yeah, they're gonna do as good of a job of nurturing, feeding, changing and raising her as my wife or myself.

BucEyedPea · 03-27-2007, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCinNY

Yeah, they're gonna do as good of a job of nurturing...

...by their own parents too. No one's gonna love them the same, and deep down they pick up on this.

Mr. Plow · 03-28-2007, 07:16 AM

Well, my wife and I had a long conversation about this last night. We decided that since we can only spend 17 hours a day with them, that it would be in the best interest of our children to give them to someone who can spend that extra 7 hours a day with them.

We felt that 35 hours a week away from our children was just doing them an injustice in their lives. Sure, they're well behaved now, but what happens when they are in the 6th grade? All hell is gonna break loose, that's what.

We'll try for more children when she can devote those 7 hours to them.

Mile High Mania · 03-28-2007, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

Well, my wife and I had a long conversation about this last night. We decided that since we can only spend 17 hours a day with them, that it would be in the best interest of our children to give them to someone who can spend that extra 7 hours a day with them.

We felt that 35 hours a week away from our children was just doing them an injustice in their lives. Sure, they're well behaved now, but what happens when they are in the 6th grade? All hell is gonna break loose, that's what.

We'll try for more children when she can devote those 7 hours to them.

03-26-2007, 06:50 PM
C-Mac Lurker Extraordinaire Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wally World Casino cash: $-996301	Justifying Day Care http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune....justify_d.html Justifying day care "As if I don’t already feel guilty for putting my son in day care at the tender age of three months, a new study shows that the more time children spend in center-based care before kindergarten, the more likely they’ll fight, disobey and argue, according to their 6th grade teachers. The increase in problem behavior was slight, but studies like this inspire me to look for the silver lining. And I always return to the same thing: "the hygiene hypothesis," or the belief that early exposure to germs helps the immune system develop properly. While most children get six to eight infections a year, children in day care bring home twice that number, or about one a month. Day-care settings --or petri dishes, as my pediatrician calls them-- have high levels of indoor allergens and have been shown to incubate and spread antibiotic resistant bacteria. This sounds like a no-brainer: Keep your children at home! But since most of us don't have that option--63 percent of U.S. children under the age of five spend 37 hours a week in child care--I manage to get through the work day by reminding myself my kids might turn out healthier in the long run. Some research bears this out. A 2005 study in the British Medical Journal showed that children who attended day care in the first few months of life are less likely to develop leukemia than children who do not, most likely because they were protected from exposure to common infections. Similar associations have been reported for Type 1diabetes and allergies and asthma in children. Still, even if they have stronger immune systems, is it worth sending them to day care if they’re going to have behavioral issues that persist at least until 6th grade? That, according to the research, published in the March/April issue of "Child Development," is up to the parents. The researchers involved with the longest and most comprehensive study of child care in the U.S. cautioned that parenting quality was a much more important predictor of child development than the type, quantity or quality of child care. Ultimately, while quality day care is important, a quality home environment matters more." We had to do without some things obviuosly but the wife and I both agreed that her being at home while the children were young, was far more important than her having a career or us having a new car or house. We now get compliments all the time about our kids and their behavior and I truly feel that this is one of the main reasons why. I do understand that not everyone's situation allows mom to stay home(especially single moms), but I do think that there are many cases that if they just tried to live a little simpler, they could pull it off.
Posts: 5,659

03-27-2007, 04:56 PM	#169
vailpass Psycho Bag Of Squanch Join Date: Sep 2001 Casino cash: $9594244	Just ****in' with ya' __________________ “Education is a weapon whose effect depends on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed.” Joseph Stalin
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03-27-2007, 05:54 PM	#172
bogie West Coast Chief Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: california Casino cash: $10004900	For the record, my wife has been a stay at home Mom for 9 years. My daughter is 9. We believe this is the best for my daughter, however, I do not condemn those people that don't have the same opportunities as us. To suggest that everyone has the same opportunities as my wife and I is, well, dumbassery. __________________
Posts: 3,562

03-27-2007, 07:19 PM	#174
Mile High Mania #triggering Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Tejas Casino cash: $1017229	The really rich that do the day care thing to the extreme have a whole other bag of issues headed their way. __________________
Posts: 30,895

03-27-2007, 07:34 PM	#175
bogie West Coast Chief Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: california Casino cash: $10004900	I'm not disagreeing that stay at home parenting is best. However, not everyone has the capacity to do what's best. Some folks do what they have to do to survive. I have a problem with people that generalize. To me they are generally talking out of their ass. __________________
Posts: 3,562

03-27-2007, 08:37 PM	#177
KCinNY Chiefs Goon Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Center Ice Casino cash: $10008350	I wouldn't let my 14 month old little girl anywhere near a daycare center. Even at the nice, expensive daycare centers, eight kids(aged 6 weeks to 12 months) are being watched by 2 "teachers" who earn about $7.00 an hour. Yeah, they're gonna do as good of a job of nurturing, feeding, changing and raising her as my wife or myself. Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 1,497

03-28-2007, 07:16 AM	#179
Mr. Plow In Search of a Life Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $-1402609	Well, my wife and I had a long conversation about this last night. We decided that since we can only spend 17 hours a day with them, that it would be in the best interest of our children to give them to someone who can spend that extra 7 hours a day with them. We felt that 35 hours a week away from our children was just doing them an injustice in their lives. Sure, they're well behaved now, but what happens when they are in the 6th grade? All hell is gonna break loose, that's what. We'll try for more children when she can devote those 7 hours to them.
Posts: 31,686