Suicide?

[Brianfo]

Have you ever contemplated suicide? I have, I think about it everyday. I think my kids and wife would be better off without me. My wife is an absolute angel. She did not deserve to be stuck with me. I know that it's the right thing to do. But it's cowardly. I know for a fact that I am going to hell. I love my kids and wife so much, but I have not been a good father.

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

I really thought/think this thread was done for shock value. It's his posting style.

Now that the scare is over however, to the subject at hand :

I think about it a lot. Seems like a good idea sometimes. And it's over the stupidest things. I wig out, and next thing I know I've torn up everything I own and I'm leaning over a bridge praying that I don't survive and break every bone in my body.

Sometimes trying and not succeeding helps. It seems like it wouldn't, you'd feel like even more of a failure, but it helps to know you've made it. I tried to hide it for a long time. Tried to kill myself with oxy or heroin at least five times, family just thought I was getting carried away, they never knew I was trying to die. And it just seemed like Heroin was the closest thing to dying without really being dead. So obviously it was the easiest method.

In anger I'd try to do it out of spite. One time at 16 I drove my car into the little horseshoe creek at top speed on I-70 hoping I'd die. When I regained consciousness, I found the entire car was crush around me, motor in the passenger seat. But I was soooo ****ing mad I was alive.

I tried with knives. But I just didn't have the balls to puncture the skin in the right places.

I've actually never told ANYONE I know besides but doctor this, but I've played Russian roulette with the barrel in my mouth two times.

Everytime I contemplate it in a fight, I would come to and realize I was just doing it for attention. And it makes me feel better to know I really didn't want to do it. And I'm thankful I didn't do anything stupid.

What's so crazy about this though, is if the brian thing is real, is that every since I've been sober and I think about that stuff I always plan on writing a suicide note on chiefs planet. My doctor says that means I'm really not serious about it anymore, and I just want attention from you guys who I sometimes feel your all I have.

I'm glad I've never made that post though. But whenever I sit on the bridge on winner and crysler, I wonder if you guys will know what happened to me. Isn't that ****ing pathetic?

I never know if you are joking or serious.

[MOhillbilly]

Many times, but not in a long time.

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

I never know if you are joking or serious.

Exactly, Joey is not always an easy guy to read.

[KCUnited]

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

I really thought/think this thread was done for shock value. It's his posting style.

Now that the scare is over however, to the subject at hand :

I think about it a lot. Seems like a good idea sometimes. And it's over the stupidest things. I wig out, and next thing I know I've torn up everything I own and I'm leaning over a bridge praying that I don't survive and break every bone in my body.

Sometimes trying and not succeeding helps. It seems like it wouldn't, you'd feel like even more of a failure, but it helps to know you've made it. I tried to hide it for a long time. Tried to kill myself with oxy or heroin at least five times, family just thought I was getting carried away, they never knew I was trying to die. And it just seemed like Heroin was the closest thing to dying without really being dead. So obviously it was the easiest method.

In anger I'd try to do it out of spite. One time at 16 I drove my car into the little horseshoe creek at top speed on I-70 hoping I'd die. When I regained consciousness, I found the entire car was crush around me, motor in the passenger seat. But I was soooo ****ing mad I was alive.

I tried with knives. But I just didn't have the balls to puncture the skin in the right places.

I've actually never told ANYONE I know besides but doctor this, but I've played Russian roulette with the barrel in my mouth two times.

Everytime I contemplate it in a fight, I would come to and realize I was just doing it for attention. And it makes me feel better to know I really didn't want to do it. And I'm thankful I didn't do anything stupid.

What's so crazy about this though, is if the brian thing is real, is that every since I've been sober and I think about that stuff I always plan on writing a suicide note on chiefs planet. My doctor says that means I'm really not serious about it anymore, and I just want attention from you guys who I sometimes feel your all I have.

I'm glad I've never made that post though. But whenever I sit on the bridge on winner and crysler, I wonder if you guys will know what happened to me. Isn't that ****ing pathetic?

Anybody else have Suicidal Tendencies - "Suicidal Failure" playing through their head while reading this?

[cabletech94]

Dude, you've got friends here. Don't forget that.

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

I really thought/think this thread was done for shock value. It's his posting style.

Now that the scare is over however, to the subject at hand :

I think about it a lot. Seems like a good idea sometimes. And it's over the stupidest things. I wig out, and next thing I know I've torn up everything I own and I'm leaning over a bridge praying that I don't survive and break every bone in my body.

Sometimes trying and not succeeding helps. It seems like it wouldn't, you'd feel like even more of a failure, but it helps to know you've made it. I tried to hide it for a long time. Tried to kill myself with oxy or heroin at least five times, family just thought I was getting carried away, they never knew I was trying to die. And it just seemed like Heroin was the closest thing to dying without really being dead. So obviously it was the easiest method.

In anger I'd try to do it out of spite. One time at 16 I drove my car into the little horseshoe creek at top speed on I-70 hoping I'd die. When I regained consciousness, I found the entire car was crush around me, motor in the passenger seat. But I was soooo ****ing mad I was alive.

I tried with knives. But I just didn't have the balls to puncture the skin in the right places.

I've actually never told ANYONE I know besides but doctor this, but I've played Russian roulette with the barrel in my mouth two times.

Everytime I contemplate it in a fight, I would come to and realize I was just doing it for attention. And it makes me feel better to know I really didn't want to do it. And I'm thankful I didn't do anything stupid.

What's so crazy about this though, is if the brian thing is real, is that every since I've been sober and I think about that stuff I always plan on writing a suicide note on chiefs planet. My doctor says that means I'm really not serious about it anymore, and I just want attention from you guys who I sometimes feel your all I have.

I'm glad I've never made that post though. But whenever I sit on the bridge on winner and crysler, I wonder if you guys will know what happened to me. Isn't that ****ing pathetic?

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

Tell me what the police would do if you called in and said "X man told me he was thinking of raping Y woman." Would they arrest him? Would they even go and talk to him?

Yeah, here, they'd look into that.

Perhaps they wouldn't take him in but you'd be looking at some uniforms in your front door...

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by KCUnited

Anybody else have Suicidal Tendencies - "Suicidal Failure" playing through their head while reading this?

BUT I CAN'T KILL MYSELF.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

I'm glad I've never made that post though. But whenever I sit on the bridge on winner and crysler, I wonder if you guys will know what happened to me. Isn't that ****ing pathetic?

Yes.

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by Rausch

Yeah, here, they'd look into that.

Perhaps they wouldn't take him in but you'd be looking at some uniforms in your front door...

I was legitimately asking....I really had no idea if they would go talk with someone based on saying he was thinking of raping someone.

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by Simply Red

BUT I CAN'T KILL MYSELF.

Not until after we get our ping pong rematch at least.

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Exactly, Joey is not always an easy guy to read.

I usually am very upfront and real about everything on here. I joke alot, but it's only because I think everything is a joking matter.

I was being 100 % serious. My post was from the heart and I sped through details because I'm at work. But the point of it was if Brian is serious, I think he could take a lot from my experience. I also bet he was pissed when the cops showed up last night. He didn't say he was going to do it, he just made a thread about what was banging through his mind.

He needs pro help. I did.

It's just ****ing sad and funny at the same time how somebody can threaten something so important(life) just for attention.

But even if it is just for attention, it can get serious quick. Once you feel like everybody thinks you're not going to do it and you're just bluffing, it sends you one step further.

[blaise]

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

I usually am very upfront and real about everything on here. I joke alot, but it's only because I think everything is a joking matter.

I was being 100 % serious. My post was from the heart and I sped through details because I'm at work. But the point of it was if Brian is serious, I think he could take a lot from my experience. I also bet he was pissed when the cops showed up last night. He didn't say he was going to do it, he just made a thread about what was banging through his mind.

He needs pro help. I did.

It's just ****ing sad and funny at the same time how somebody can threaten something so important(life) just for attention.

But even if it is just for attention, it can get serious quick. Once you feel like everybody thinks you're not going to do it and you're just bluffing, it sends you one step further.

So why were you telling the other dude to buy shells and shit? Seems kind of weird.

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by blaise

So why were you telling the other dude to buy shells and shit? Seems kind of weird.

you just shut your whore mouth.

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

Not until after we get our ping pong rematch at least.

it was a shoot-out, anything could've happened, what is it, knotted @ 24?

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by blaise

So why were you telling the other dude to buy shells and shit? Seems kind of weird.

Like I said, he may need to try and fail to see how serious this is.
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