I think i need some advice

[QuikSsurfer]

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[plbrdude]

Originally Posted by huskerdooz

In other words, Oxford is the place where you could be irresposible, flunk out of school, and blow all your money on drugs. Sounds to me like Oxford is just comfortable enough for you to wind up dead.

Your 23 and from your description, you've never decided to take responsibility for your life. You need to grow up and start taking responsibility for your actions. Like cdcox stated you can turn your life around now or let it slide off into the abyss of drugs and alcohol, it's your choice.

That being said, I don't think you're really ready to turn your life around yet. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for easier solutions like living with your sister for a short time. What makes you think that it will be any different living with her. You will probably just spend your time and money looking for new sources for your drug habit. You say you are a recovering cocaine addict. Did you go into rehab to kick your habit? Since when does rehab advocate abstaining from one drug but allow the use of another. It sounds to me the only reason you had to give up cocaine was because you couldn't afford it. That happens when mom cuts off the financial spigot doesn't it. You complain that you have no way to commute across town, is there no form of public transportation in Oxford? You also complain that you don't have the money to take the A+ certification exam, yet you claim that you are still smoking too much ganja. IIRCC ganja isn't cheap. Here's an idea, try saving some of that money to pay for the exam.

Just as TJ indicated, the solution is right there but you're too stubborn and immature to see it. Your Grandparents are obviously offering you a place and an oppurtunity to get back on your feet. You don't want to blow this oppurtunity that they are offering by continuing to blow all your money on the very lifestyle that got you into this mess in the first place. If you actually got clean from the drugs you might actually discover that college could actually be for you as well. For that to happen you might need to get away from Oxford so that you can make a clean break from the very lifestyle that got you into trouble in the first place.

You can't go through life living out "Animal House". It's fun for awhile but eventually you need to take responsibility for your life and actually make something of yourself.

I'm sure this will come off as a bit preachy but I have very little sympathy for someone that continually wants to blame others for there misery and misfortune instead of taking responsibility for there own life.

read that post again. you have recieved sound advice from a wise man there. you say you're to open minded for faith, but my guess is you're afraid of what you'll find. coming from a former meth addict, alcoholic, and weed smoker, i can tell you this. with the Lord you won't have to go through life a recovering addict. you will be a delivered addict. you also will find oppurtunities opening up for you that never seemed possible. before. it has to start with you. nothing is more pathetic than an alcoholic or addict blaming their addiction on their circumstances. Their circumstances are a result of their addiction.

[jspchief]

You don't need the lord to quit drugs. It's just another crutch.

[DeepSouth]

You're from Mississippi. Blame it on the In-Breeding.

[chagrin]

Originally Posted by QuikSsurfer

I could manage to live with them but it would be very, very hard. My grandparents are very firm believers in the "word of god". I'm a little more open minded, you could say

Dude, obviously you're not very open minded if you can't accept them for who they are and what they believe in. You'd be accepting help from people who love you, you should say thank you and take it, while you have the opportunity. But we don't need to get into that.

I am a recovering drug addict, I blew a few hundred thousand dollars and alientated my wife, and she left me - and lost 2 homes and a car. I was homeless and had nobody to offer such help. Before you start thinking I'm some old fuck who is not in touch, I am only 36, this all came to a head when I was 34. I had a great career and everything I needed.

Here's the thing though, you will quit doing drugs when you hit rock bottom, if it truly is a problem. Everybody's "rock bottom" is different, for me - I was stubborn, I had to lose EVERYTHING to realize what I was doingt o myself.

I packed up my remaining vehicle and drove to Florida (from Michigan) and when I got here my only relative that speaks to me, my brother, wouldn't even let me in his house. I had never lied to him or stolen from him (I didn't resort to that sort of crime, only doing the blow and drinking, I had the money so I didn't need to steal). Anyway, after that I drove to a bridge and was about to drive myaself off of it into the ocean, when something inside told me not to. I chickened out and drove to a local church instead.

You don't have to be saved by Jesus to get clean dude, but you need to help yourself.

Website soberrecovery.com is a decent place to chat with like minded folks.

No offense intended but you should really think twice about saying no to your grandparents. You were stating that one half of your family disowned you, don't wait until all of them have, get off your ass and do something about it.

I will think positive thoughts for you my friend.

Good luck.

[MIAdragon]

Originally Posted by gochiefs

Join the armed forces.

I agree 100%, this may be your best option. It would give you just about all you need to get past what you are going through and so much more. Why would you turn down a chance to get clean, earn a DECENT living ( the pay in the military is a lot better than most think ) further hone your computer skills, get some direction and most of all discipline. All of your problems are solved. Is it the easy way out? No. Is it going to suck sometimes? Hell yes. Will you be a better man for it, Id bet money on it. Good luck what ever you do.

[Ultra Peanut]

Of course, anyone advising you that the military may be your best bet should also add that there's a chance you could be shipped off and be placed into a situation where you may get your ass shot off or blown up or whatever awful things can happen in nasty places that military personnel are sometimes sent to.

Discipline isn't going to help you do better in life if you end up in a body bag, and as such, people should look at joining the military because it's something they feel strongly compelled to do, not simply because they just need some direction in their lives. Due to the potential consequences and commitments, it's something of a big decision.

[Skip Towne]

Iowanian should be along directly. He'll set you straight.

[badgirl]

Drugs is not the answer, all they do is cover up the pain and issues you need to deal with temperarly, and trust me I know the feeling, if you can possible get off the drugs it starts to clear your thinking and allows you to better deal with life and physically you feel so much better. When I have done drugs or drink to cover my pain I always said, "its the only time I feel like normal people probably feel when I'm high".

Personally I don't think you will have a good relationship with anyone in your life and really, clearly see what you need to do for yourself until you get free from all drugs, I do congratulate you on your stopping using cocaine. For years it has been one drug or another to cover up everything in my life I should deal with, cause after all those years my problems are still here, only WORSE.

I wish you the best,and hope you make the right decision.

Originally Posted by gochiefs

Join the armed forces.

That is an option that may not be open for him. To join the military you will be drug tested often, especially if you have a past of using drugs. Should the military be the direction he goes he needs to be 100% upfront with them before he goes in, that in itself could keep him out, but at least if he got past that point he would be a known commodity.

One poster commented about being shipped off to a place that he could wind up in a body bag. That is true, choose the service you want to be wisely, some have a lower percentage of personnel in the war zones and the exposure alot less than that of the Army or Marines. However, the Marines would be the best bet for a complete controlled atmosphere, there would be brothers that would help you at every turn.

[Katipan]

Drugs rock.

If you're happy and healthy and settled and stable.

God rocks too.

Worshipping God on drugs is the best.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by Mer

Drugs rock.

If you're happy and healthy and settled and stable.

God rocks too.

Worshipping God on drugs is the best.

I beleive the point of his thread is that he isn't happy or settled or stable, I don't know about the healthy part, he didn't mention that I don't beleive.

[Katipan]

They emphasize whatever you're feeling in life dearie.

I hardly think everyone should walk around in a stupor, but I'm also not the girl that drinks to feel normal.

[RedDread]

Originally Posted by r8er_h8er

That is an option that may not be open for him. To join the military you will be drug tested often, especially if you have a past of using drugs. Should the military be the direction he goes he needs to be 100% upfront with them before he goes in, that in itself could keep him out, but at least if he got past that point he would be a known commodity.

One poster commented about being shipped off to a place that he could wind up in a body bag. That is true, choose the service you want to be wisely, some have a lower percentage of personnel in the war zones and the exposure alot less than that of the Army or Marines. However, the Marines would be the best bet for a complete controlled atmosphere, there would be brothers that would help you at every turn.

Cold Turkey + Completely Controlled Environment


and after that possibly Combat Zone + PTSD

If you're looking for a life-changing event then that would be it. It sounds like you're going to be eating some crow no matter who you turn to, and this is going to require a lot of effort. Honestly, even with all that going against you I'd walk into a recruiters office and go to MEPS 30 days after you stop doing drugs. By then it will be out of your system and if you are really serious about turning your life around, the military is your best chance.

F what ya heard, just pick a Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) that will keep you away from front line combat and you will be set for the next 3-20 years.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by Mer

They emphasize whatever you're feeling in life dearie.

I hardly think everyone should walk around in a stupor, but I'm also not the girl that drinks to feel normal.

OH drinking takes a totally different affect on me than drugs, drugs I feel good on, but drinking can be either really fun for me or I could get really mean, I don't care for drinking, but I guess its the company you choose to drink with on how the night is gonna turn out. My last stupor turned out to be a pretty good time.

[Iowanian]

It sounds like ALL of your problems are self inflicted.
No sympathy here.

Lets work this out. You're an unmotivated drug addict, and you wonder why it might be possibly difficult to find gainful employment? You've been to college, for 5 YEARS!!! and now "college isn't for you". your mother is a "bad mother" but was paying for your car. Your grandparents aren't good enough to help you because they're people of faith.

Stop making excuses. Get your ass into rehab, finish the degree to go with that debt that someone has assumed for your 5 years of college and stop blaming your problems on your family.

Joining the military isn't even an option for a smackhead. All drug addicts have are excuses.

Unless you get off your ass and do somethign to improve your situation, enjoy your life as a construction laborer or welfare recipient. You're a loser by choice right now. Its one YOU can correct.