My short-term career as a bookseller.

[Rain Man]

Long story behind this, but my company has "adopted" an elementary school, and we occasionally send people there to volunteer for the school.

My turn came up yesterday, and I approached the situation with a great degree of ignorance, having not actually seen a child since the mid-1990s. I showed up at the school, and I actually got a pretty good job: while my office manager read stories to various groups of kids, my job was to organize a book giveaway. Every kid at story time got a free book, so my job was to pull the kids out of the story circle in small groups, explain to them the choices, and make sure that they only took one book. I was also in charge of stocking the books on a couple of little tables.

Keep in mind that this is one elementary school, so this wasn't a huge operation. I gave away about a hundred books in three hours to kids ranging from 4 to 7 years old.

My lessons as a bookseller:

1. When the first group came in, it was a very small preschool class, so I brought the kids to the tables one at a time, let them pick out their book, and then took them back to the story area. One little girl wasn't paying attention, so I tapped her on her four year-old shoulder. Alarms immediately went off in my head. DON'T TOUCH LITTLE GIRLS! DON'T TOUCH LITTLE GIRLS! YOU'LL GO TO PRISON! So from that point on, I would wave my hand in front of their faces if I couldn't get their attention.

2. About 75 percent of the preschool kids coming in are Spanish speakers, so they had two tables of books, one in English and one in Spanish. My English-only preferences shone through, so I would try to steer the kids toward the English books. In a good sign, most of the youngest kids would pick Spanish books, while the older kids almost all got English books as the schools developed their language skills. Good job, school system! I was also a bit impressed that several of the 7 year-olds would wander back and forth between the tables checking out books. They were apparently fully bilingual.

3. By the age of six, you can already predict the destiny of a good proportion of children, just by observing them.

4. If you want a successful children's book, you apparently have to base it off of a famous televised cartoon character. It was annoying to me, so I pushed the other types of books in my marketing role. ("No, no. You don't want Shrek. Go with "I Know a Rhino". You'll love the surprise ending.")

5. If you don't have the rights to a famous televised cartoon character, make your main character a dinosaur.

6. On the Spanish-language table, I was pushing a book that showed pictures of houses all around the world. It was really kind of cool, but it took me forever to find a taker. Kids kept picking lame-o books with bright colors instead. "Come on, come on. You already know about how the dinosaur learned to make his bed. Look at this one. Wigwams! Quonset huts! Adobe! Trust me on this one."

7. On the English language table, there was little interest in self-help books (I could never sell anyone on the 'how to tie your shoes' book, though some kids really needed it), and I could never get anyone to take the cool "A Day in an Apple Orchard" book. ("Look. Trees. Apples. This is much more interesting than the dancing hippopotomous. Seriously.")

8. I had a theory going in that books that were physically bigger would go faster, especially among the littlest market segments. However, that was not true. I was surprised.

9. As a small businessman, I favor the independents. Books that were ghost-written by celebrities got poor placement on my table. Take that, you big-money stars.

10. I attempted to mold young minds by putting the better books in the best positions on the table. Biography of Einstein? Book on the planets? History of North American explorers? Good position. Stupid theme books about friendly pirates who want to give cake to young stowaways? Back of the bus (though still in front of the celebrities' books).

11. Kids don't get my jokes.

12. It was a little embarrassing when a five-year old asked me what a Spanish-language book was about, and I couldn't figure it out.

All in all, it was an interesting market research study. I discovered that nonfiction books for six year-olds is not a good market, and that content is less important than cover art for most consumers under the age of five. I also learned that you want to make a good impression on the bookseller if you want good placement in the store, and of course I learned that you should never touch a small child if you're a 40-something man.

A good day, overall, before I turned over the keys to the store to DaFace. I bet he wasn't expecting this assignment when he moved to Denver.

[Delano]

Originally Posted by Halfcan

I will go ahead and put the Synopsis on here in case somebody has a friend in the Publishing Industry.

Queen Anne's Revenge
...

You should have allocated some of the time spent editing the novel to time spent editing your synopsis.

[Halfcan]

Originally Posted by Jenson71

Hopefully things go real well for you, Halfcan.

I appreciate that-it was a ton of hard work, rewrites after rewrites. I dumped the first three chapters and started over because I was just not good enough. Although I have written poetry for over 20 years- the flowery language of poetry does not transfer well to a Novel. So I spent a year reading every book on writing I could find-and then started over. I think after the first 10 chapters I really found my voice and the writing is clean and crisp. Early on, it was a struggle. From reading my post on hear- you can tell, spelling and grammer have never been my strong suits-lol It is a struggle sometimes. It is great to have fantastic ideas-but if you cannot communicate them to the reader-it does not matter.

My big break came after going through two pathetic editors. My girl in California took over and it has been a breath of fresh air. She is great at finding mistakes, so the whole project is very professional now.

One thing I found out- A great writer can be a lousy editor and Vice versa. It is two different parts of your brain I suppose.

Good luck with your project, would love to read it when you are done.

[Halfcan]

Originally Posted by Delano

You should have allocated some of the time spent editing the novel to time spent editing your synopsis.

I am open for suggestions- any help would be appreciated.

It was a whole different animal doing a Synopsis, Character Index, Outline, Bibliography, and Bio. There are some things I am good at and others I have never attempted. But you just give it your best shot.

[Delano]

Originally Posted by Halfcan

I am open for suggestions- any help would be appreciated.

It was a whole different animal doing a Synopsis, Character Index, Outline, Bibliography, and Bio. There are some things I am good at and others I have never attempted. But you just give it your best shot.

I am sure it is quite difficult. I have quite a bit of writing on my plate for courses I am taking this semester so I can't help you out Try reading your writing backwards so it isn't the same old thing and you may be able to pick out errors better that way. Bibliographies are easy enough with a MLA handbook.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

11. Kids don't get my jokes.

What a shocker.



You're a piece of work RM.

[NewChief]

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

Pretty cool, Rain Man. I worked at bookshops through college...it's a unique little world. I've got to say that it was finding the little ones that hated to read something they really enjoyed that made it worthwhile.

Some of the coolest (as in, interesting in their desire to help kids) people in my school are the librarians. It is wonderful to see people so dedicated (dare I say passionate in a post about teenagers?) to literacy. My two librarians are amazing in their desire to get kids to read. We do a book club in my classes where kids form their own clubs and get to choose a common book to read from our "book club collection." Watching the librarians discuss the books with prospective readers is really something to behold.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Halfcan

Cute story. I am actually looking for a publisher-can you help a brother out??

With a little work, I can possibly get your book placed in the library of a Denver elementary school.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by DaFace

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you left that one out of the job description. It was a fun experience for the most part, though I have to say that reading a book to a bunch of preschoolers (which I'm not good at) is a little weird when none of them speak English. I basically read a line, then waited on their teacher to translate. I eventually gave up and pretty much started gesturing and pointing to the cute pictures of a hedgehog.

Groundhog! Groundhog! If a hedgehog sees his shadow in February 2nd, it means that we're facing six weeks of nuclear winter. Big difference.

Originally Posted by DaFace

The only thing I can add to RM's story is that the art of "perusing" is developed somewhere during the kindergarten year. The preschoolers could walk to the table and pick a book in about 3.7 seconds, while the first graders would just walk around the table looking unless you told them that their time was up.

I noticed that, too. Freaky, wasn't it? The little ones would go up to the table and just grab a book without even looking at it, and then all of a sudden at a certain age I'd have to eventually evict them. I had one girl who took so long to pick that finally the class left and the teacher just made her grab the nearest one.

[booger]

Don't provoke them rain man.

The little buggers bite when provoked.

[Halfcan]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

With a little work, I can possibly get your book placed in the library of a Denver elementary school.

that is the best offer I have had. Teens reading it would be okay-but it is not a kids book. Although there is no bad language, sex, that type of "R" rated stuff, 3 people get their heads chopped off in the first chapter.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Halfcan

that is the best offer I have had. Teens reading it would be okay-but it is not a kids book. Although there is no bad language, sex, that type of "R" rated stuff, 3 people get their heads chopped off in the first chapter.

I hope they aren't your main characters, because that would really limit the dialogue in the rest of the book.

[RJ]

All in all it sounds like a fun day. I really enjoy the time I get to spend at my daughter's pre-school. Little kids are funny people. Last week there was a class trip, we went to a concert. Three year olds sure do like to dance but I'm not so sure about that "natural ryhtm" theory.

[Halfcan]

Actually the QAR was the flagship of Captain Teach (Blackbeard) who stole it from slave traders-it is probably one of the most imprtant finds since Titanic. They have a musuem in NC now that has all the cool stuff they have found.

When I started this- there was nearly nothing out there on Pirates and such. My Dad even made the comment-who would want to read about an old pirate ship. Well low and behold- Pirates of the Caribean came out and the whole world went pirate crazy. Even though the main story revolves around a 12 yr old girl, her mother and grandmother-there are characters I developed to explain the connection.

Publishers don't even want to hear about Pirates now, so I am trying to tone that part of the story down.

[Halfcan]

I thought I would take a shot and see if someone knew someone that knew someone.....

[booger]

Genuinly a funny little book I read to my niece a few years back.

Reviews: http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops.../dp/0916291456