Life I'm cohabitating... would appreciate any advice. - Page 2

Direckshun · 05-02-2008, 09:15 AM

Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone.

Now we're making plans to move in together sometime this coming fall. She's lived with a significant other before, but this is the first time I've ever done it.

So considering how green I am to the whole process, I'd appreciate the ironclad braintrust at the Planet to provide me with advice (preferably from experience) so I don't walk into bear trap after bear trap throughout this ordeal.

Thanks in advance.

booyaf2 · 05-02-2008, 09:37 AM

first in with "Print Em!"

ChiefsCountry · 05-02-2008, 09:41 AM

I wouldn't do it dude. For the ones I have seen work, I have seen twice as many fail.

Adept Havelock · 05-02-2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun

Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone.

Now we're making plans to move in together sometime this coming fall. She's lived with a significant other before, but this is the first time I've ever done it.

So considering how green I am to the whole process, I'd appreciate the ironclad braintrust at the Planet to provide me with advice (preferably from experience) so I don't walk into bear trap after bear trap throughout this ordeal.

Thanks in advance.

Two words: Mutual respect.

It's the fundamental underpinning that has worked for us for many years.

If you're in MO, you don't have to be concerned about common-law marriage. However it is possible (and entirely voluntary) on the Kansas side. Also, if you decide to cohabitate long-term without getting that piece of paper, legal and medical proxies are also something to consider, but you had better be DAMN sure first.

That said, you've got a long way to go before that becomes a concern. Good luck to you both.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 05-02-2008, 09:49 AM

Never let her smell yo dick.

In all seriousness, don't take things too seriously.

Fish · 05-02-2008, 09:49 AM

Hide your porn well...

Create a safe room for yourself..... i.e. tool shed, garage, game room, etc. Do it soon before she turns it into a sewing room....

Chest Rockwell · 05-02-2008, 09:51 AM

Sinner.

Ok, now that that's out of the way mutual respect is good advice.

Expect everything to be 1,000 times harder than you would expect. It's going to be a big adjustment for both of you.

As much as possible, when there's a disagreement, try not to take things personally, and do not make them personal.

**Bugeater** · 05-02-2008, 09:52 AM

Make sure only her name is on the lease.

Hoover · 05-02-2008, 09:53 AM

I've never done it. But my friends who have done have not had the best of luck in doing it. Basically its like being married, but every argument centers around her moving out.

I had a chick who wanted to move in with me. I broke it off then and there.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 05-02-2008, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chest Rockwell

Sinner.

Ok, now that that's out of the way mutual respect is good advice.

Expect everything to be 1,000 times harder than you would expect. It's going to be a big adjustment for both of you.

As much as possible, when there's a disagreement, try not to take things personally, and do not make them personal.

In addition: fight fair.

At some point you'll argue. Don't bring up things from the past.

Brock · 05-02-2008, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoover

I've never done it. But my friends who have done have not had the best of luck in doing it. Basically its like being married, but every argument centers around her moving out.

I had a chick who wanted to move in with me. I broke it off then and there.

This is the thread winner. Either get married or don't.

Adept Havelock · 05-02-2008, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

In addition: fight fair.

At some point you'll argue. Don't bring up things from the past.

Yep. It's a partnership. Try to make it a contest, and it'll go down in flames. JMO.

stlchiefs · 05-02-2008, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

In addition: fight fair.

That means letting her select her weapon of choice first.

Adept Havelock · 05-02-2008, 10:03 AM

One other piece of advice. Remember this in case of emergency:

kaplin42 · 05-02-2008, 10:05 AM

I just did this last summer. And after 9 months I can tell you that for me, it's great. Some of the things are true in this thread. She will take over the place, so make a room that is yours, and tell her that she gets the entire place, just not this room.

Also communication is the best thing you can have. Neither of us believe that house work is "women's work". So we both contribute to keeping the place up. The biggest thing for me was that she would ask if I could do something (dishes for instance) and then get upset because I wasn't doing them the way she wanted. I was very clear with her after her first time of her freaking out, that she can ask and I will be happy to help. But she can't have me do something and stand over my shoulder while I do it. Either let me do it my way, or do it yourself. After that, things have been great.

If you're gonna do it though, you have to be able to communicate. Which doesn't mean yelling and screaming. You have to be able to talk to her, and her with you. Other wise you're just setting yourself up for misery.

05-02-2008, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplin42

Neither of us believe that house work is "women's work". So we both contribute to keeping the place up.

Could you come over clean our place, please? Feel free to bring your husband along.

05-02-2008, 09:15 AM
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $2103447	I'm cohabitating... would appreciate any advice. Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone. Now we're making plans to move in together sometime this coming fall. She's lived with a significant other before, but this is the first time I've ever done it. So considering how green I am to the whole process, I'd appreciate the ironclad braintrust at the Planet to provide me with advice (preferably from experience) so I don't walk into bear trap after bear trap throughout this ordeal. Thanks in advance.
Posts: 59,689

05-02-2008, 09:37 AM	#16
booyaf2 Starter Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Hays KS Casino cash: $-2094995	first in with "Print Em!"
Posts: 905

05-02-2008, 09:41 AM	#17
ChiefsCountry The Insider Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Lake of the Ozarks Casino cash: $-1401248	I wouldn't do it dude. For the ones I have seen work, I have seen twice as many fail.
Posts: 52,008

05-02-2008, 09:49 AM	#19
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Join Date: Nov 2004 Casino cash: $9999900 VARSITY	Never let her smell yo dick. In all seriousness, don't take things too seriously.
Posts: 35,253

05-02-2008, 09:49 AM	#20
Fish Ain't no relax! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $-1261081	Hide your porn well... Create a safe room for yourself..... i.e. tool shed, garage, game room, etc. Do it soon before she turns it into a sewing room.... __________________
Posts: 48,815

05-02-2008, 09:51 AM	#21
Chest Rockwell Y'all are brutalizin' me! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Jim Bob Cooter 4 Heisman Casino cash: $10000985	Sinner. Ok, now that that's out of the way mutual respect is good advice. Expect everything to be 1,000 times harder than you would expect. It's going to be a big adjustment for both of you. As much as possible, when there's a disagreement, try not to take things personally, and do not make them personal. __________________ MASTER CYLINDER!
Posts: 1,096

05-02-2008, 09:52 AM	#22
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $3992680	Make sure only her name is on the lease.
Posts: 70,546

05-02-2008, 09:53 AM	#23
Hoover Rufus Dawes Jr. Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-1961821	I've never done it. But my friends who have done have not had the best of luck in doing it. Basically its like being married, but every argument centers around her moving out. I had a chick who wanted to move in with me. I broke it off then and there.
Posts: 18,016

05-02-2008, 10:03 AM	#28
Adept Havelock Obligatory Thoughtcriminal Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Flux,awaiting an observer Casino cash: $10004900	One other piece of advice. Remember this in case of emergency: __________________ No matter how cynical you are, it is impossible to keep up. -Lily Tomlin I'd rather be a climbing monkey than a falling angel. -Terry Pratchett
Posts: 14,305

05-02-2008, 10:05 AM	#29
kaplin42 Thats Right, Sniff the Glue!!! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: tubbytronic superdome Casino cash: $10007177	I just did this last summer. And after 9 months I can tell you that for me, it's great. Some of the things are true in this thread. She will take over the place, so make a room that is yours, and tell her that she gets the entire place, just not this room. Also communication is the best thing you can have. Neither of us believe that house work is "women's work". So we both contribute to keeping the place up. The biggest thing for me was that she would ask if I could do something (dishes for instance) and then get upset because I wasn't doing them the way she wanted. I was very clear with her after her first time of her freaking out, that she can ask and I will be happy to help. But she can't have me do something and stand over my shoulder while I do it. Either let me do it my way, or do it yourself. After that, things have been great. If you're gonna do it though, you have to be able to communicate. Which doesn't mean yelling and screaming. You have to be able to talk to her, and her with you. Other wise you're just setting yourself up for misery.
Posts: 3,469