I think I'm probably about to up the bar again

[Ultra Peanut]

Well, I suspect this is going to be a trip. Because the following is going to be exceptionally long and putting it in the thread starter would be downright criminal once this reaches multiple pages (and trust me, it will), please brace for impact. You really need to brace for impact.

DISCLAIMER FROM FUTURE PSI/UP: DON'T READ THIS MOPEY GARBAGE. IT WAS JUST ME ADMITTING THAT I'M TRANS IN AN OVERLY DRAMATIC FASHION. THINGS ARE QUANTIFIABLY MORE AWESOME FOR ME NOW THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, THE END.

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

He hopes that we'll retain Johnny Morton.

[Logical]

Originally Posted by gochiefs

That is garbage. If I was vying for attention with Psicois I would have tried to make this thread about me in some way (i.e. Kotter).

Now to prove my point even moreso I will leave this thread and never come back.

I view this as a complete Win/Win situation.

[Jenson71]

I think we should talk about my old friend's pet guinea pig.

[Skip Towne]

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav

I view this as a complete Win/Win situation.

Sure is!! Rep!

[Taco John]

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav

OK this thread is complete, Kotter has managed to somehow make this thread about him.

Apparently we've gotten down to the bottom of the mystery of why Psicosis has been cold to Kotter... Apparently, only people who are sexually disoriented thought it was one of the most tacky things they've ever seen on an Internet discussion forum.

[go bo]

Originally Posted by Taco John

Apparently we've gotten down to the bottom of the mystery of why Psicosis has been cold to Kotter... Apparently, only people who are sexually disoriented thought it was one of the most tacky things they've ever seen on an Internet discussion forum.

that's odd...

i suddenly felt disoriented...

[4th and Long]

Originally Posted by go bo

that's odd...

i suddenly felt disoriented...

[Bowser]

I've read some of this thread, not all, but I still see that there is an opinion that Psi is serious. I don't think he is, but if he IS, more power to shim.

As to why I think it's all BS, I'll refer you to the first post after the thread starter.

[Raiderhater]

Originally Posted by BobChief

Psi feeling compelled to share that story is so damned inspirational that Bob Dole feels like sharing, too.

Just like Psi, Bob Dole has posted some wacky shit here over the past few years, with the primary difference being that Bob Dole is actually intelligent and funny (and as those of you who have met Bob Dole know, extremely handsome). And just like Psi, this isn't one of those moments. Bob Dole has wanted to share this since the old KC Star forum days, but hasn't had the nerve to admit it until reading this story (and having 4 beers). It truly is liquid courage!

Just like Psi, Bob Dole ate and crapped his pants at a young age, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole stopped before his 14th birthday. Just like Psi, Bob Dole is often miserable, but unlike Psi, Bob Dole chooses to ignore his frustrations and occupy his mind with women and alcohol instead of lounging on pink sheets throwing tantrums nobody can hear.

And unlike Psi, Bob Dole isn't rambling, so shut the **** up.

Bob Dole played kickball as a child, but Bob Dole ruled. Well, at least until that bitch Allison Devan wasn't paying any attention and ran face first into Bob Dole's upper lip and crammed one of her brace-enhanced ****ing rabbit teeth through Bob Dole's upper lip on his 9th birthday. Happy Birthday Bob! Hope you enjoy the smell of that sticky crap they put on with the butterfly stitches, as it will be your constant companion for the next 3 ****ing weeks. At least the stupid bitch managed to grow some decent tits later on and didn't have a problem sharing them. And doesn't everything in life come down to tit size in the end?

Still not rambling.

Bob Dole suspects that Psi also tried bowling, but sucked at it. Why else would there be no mention of bowling? On the other hand, Bob Dole was an excellent league bowler in his teens. The league secretary was a 40ish woman named Wanda who had an impressive rack. She was truly an inspiration, as only a nice rack can inspire a pubescent boy, if you get Bob Dole's drift. Bob Dole carried the third highest average in the league most seasons and used a 14 pound ball. It was about the size of one of Wanda's titties.

This is harder than Bob Dole thought it would be. Type type tpye, backspace backspace backspace, rinse and repeat. Damn this beer is good and cold. Bob Dole has an excellent refrigerator. It's a Whirlpool. Icemaker equipped. Almond in color. Handles installed on the left, thank you very much.

But back to the point, since just like Psi, Bob Dole wandered a bit. Bob Dole's sheets are white. Both sets. Cotton. Queen size with a decent thread count. Bob Dole is also white, but not as white as the sheets. Bob Dole likes them to be pressed when they come out of the dryer so they are nice and smooth and crisp. Of course, Bob Dole likes to think that every Thursday is Steak and a Blowjob day, but that isn't ****ing happening either.

Why all the boring backstory? Because it makes Bob Dole laugh knowing that you're actually reading this shit. Lemmings.

Just kidding. The backstory is important because it talks about titties and bowling and kickball. The backstory serves to illustrate that males in mid-america are fascinated with that stuff. And dodgeball. What the **** is wrong with all the people trying to ban dodgeball? They probably want to whack off their peckers, too.

Friday the 13th. Wow. Bob Dole can read a calendar.

(Other really interesting and entertaining stuff edited for brevity and saved for future use.)

Anyway, the primary point is that Bob Dole has been living a lie for more than 4 years, which is like 28 dog years. And Bob Dole has two dogs, so it's been like 56 years, which is a lifetime to almost everyone here but Skip. Bob Dole has come to think of two or three of you as almost decent human beings during the time here, and Bob Dole can't stand living the lie any longer.

Bob Dole's name isn't really Bob Dole.

I have not laughed this hard in quite a long time. Quality work, Senator.


Just because of who posted this thread (and the date chosen to post it), I am having a hard time taking this at face value. Me thinks Psi is pulling a fast one on some of you.....

[Raiderhater]

Oh, one other thing, The_Talking_Can is a sick, sick bastard.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Where was the Ritz? The Uptown's now a nightclub... after sitting closed and unused for a few years.

It was only about four blocks from the Uptown. In looking at a mapquest map, I would guess that it was on Rolla Street somewhere between 6th and 8th. It was a very similar style to the Uptown, but I think it closed either when I was in college or soon thereafter (mid to late 80s).

They were the only two theaters in town for years. The multiplex east of the Forum only opened up right as I was graduating, and I think it was what did in the Ritz.

When I moved to Rolla in 1975, they had no fast food restaurants and no chains at all other than the Dairy Queen and a KFC. It was unbelievable how few restaurants they had there, especially for a college town. My dad managed the A&W, which was more or less right across the street from the Dairy Queen, and business was gangbusters there for years until all of the other fast food places showed up.

[Thig Lyfe]

Originally Posted by tk13

I do have to say, this explains that whole Scott Baio thing. I guess.

Yeah, I just realized that! Now it's, like, 25% less disturbing.

[Ultra Peanut]

Originally Posted by Taco John

Psicosis is gay... Only, with a twist.

Wrongo. I'm not gay. Big difference between gay (sexual orientation) and transgendered (gender identity). If I were gay, it would be much simpler. I would identify as male and be attracted to males. Fairly straightforward, no? Nothing is simple when I'm involved, though. I identify as female and sexual orientation really doesn't factor into the equation.

Originally Posted by Kclee

And just to make sure Psi, you would rather have us type she/her over he/him? Still have to get use to typing that.

The former is preferred, though I can understand why it's difficult for some to really "get" it or do it. I don't really hold it against anyone, even if it makes me uncomfortable.

Psi, this would explain your (in my mind) harshness with me, given the Hel'n incident

There was definitely a bit of latent anger within me over that, and I think it did show at times, though I don't think my reaction would have been too terribly different even without this being an issue.

It appears that my reputation has presented me with the opportunity/temptation to take one of the many branches that says "this is a joke" and wipe myself clear of this, but it would be more harmful than good in all sorts of ways, so I will reiterate that I'm wholly serious. If I had been looking for a laugh, the original post probably would have sufficed without spending an hour and a half trying to pour out into words what I had felt over the course of my life.

I can also understand why some people wouldn't want to believe this is true, but really, there's nothing I can do about that.

[go bo]

you go, girl...

you're doin' fine...

[Logical]

Psi,

Don't lose that wild sense of humor. As to your choice anyone worth listening to won't let it affect them.