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Old 04-13-2005, 08:51 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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I think there might be bears in my back yard.
Last night, my wife came to me and said that she's seeing "bear spots" in our yard. She took me outside and, lo and behold, there are several places in the yard where all the grass is gone, presumably the result of bears rolling around or something.

(By the way, I don't know much about bear behavior, but I did notice that they must seem to like the spots in our yard that get the most sun. So be careful if you're in a sunny area.)

Now I'm afraid to go outside. My wife says that she can call a company to take care of the bear spots, but that's not going to fix the core problem of bears rolling around outside just feet from my house. My wife thinks this isn't a big deal, but I'm worried. Any suggestions?
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:32 AM   #31
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phobia
Are you sure it's not a Shaq?
What the hell is that thing? Looks like a grizzly had its way with a Saint Bernard!
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:34 AM   #32
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Do you have woods behind your house? Look for bear shit....there's your answer!
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:34 AM   #33
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Originally Posted by Bowser
What the hell is that thing? Looks like a grizzly had its way with a Saint Bernard!
That is a REAL picture. It is one big ass bear.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:34 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phobia
Are you sure it's not a Shaq?
Ooo! I read about that thing. It charged that dude and he killed it. When they cut it open, they found the remains of some campers in it.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:36 AM   #35
jcroft jcroft is offline
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Originally Posted by Bwana
That is a REAL picture. It is one big ass bear.
I remember reading about it on snopes.com. Can't remember if the picture is real or not, but the story that goes along with it (that that dude killed the Grizzly) definitely is NOT true.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:37 AM   #36
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:37 AM   #37
wilas101 wilas101 is offline
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I'd buy a bigger bear and put him in my backyard.

or a fence.

I guess the fence is probably the safer solution but a bigger bear could prove interesting.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:38 AM   #38
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Actually, i take it back -- snopes.com says that story about the guy killing the Grizzly IS true:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/bearhunt.asp
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:39 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcroft
I remember reading about it on snopes.com. Can't remember if the picture is real or not, but the story that goes along with it (that that dude killed the Grizzly) definitely is NOT true.
Liar! Here's the pictures of the remains they pulled out of his stomach (warning, pretty gross).

Oh damnit, nevermind. You've ruined my fun by posting the snopes link.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:40 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by NewChief
Liar! Here's the pictures of the remains they pulled out of his stomach (warning, pretty gross).

Oh damnit, nevermind. You've ruined my fun by posting the snopes link.
Nice try.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:42 AM   #41
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These are all good suggestions so far. My wife seems to think the problem can be solved by just spreading a bunch of fertilizer around, but come on. These are bears we're talking about.

I'm thinking maybe a rhino. I'll bet bears hate rhinos.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:42 AM   #42
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That guy in the snopes picture looks like Keanu Reeves.

"So you're telling me I can dodge bears?"
"I'm telling you when you're ready, you won't have to."
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:43 AM   #43
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:43 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
These are all good suggestions so far. My wife seems to think the problem can be solved by just spreading a bunch of fertilizer around, but come on. These are bears we're talking about.

I'm thinking maybe a rhino. I'll bet bears hate rhinos.
Haha.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:44 AM   #45
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My apologies for that picture. I thought it was one I had edited Shaq's face onto. I can't locate that one so my joke was pretty lame - like most of my jokes, actually.
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