I made the difference in the life of a child today.

[Rain Man]

I really hate that "made a difference" saying. Really hate it. Not sure why I used it other than sarcasm since I hate it so much.

But anyway, I finished up a meeting today and was walking home when I stopped at the mall. I had to send an e-mail and it's a good place to people watch, so I bought a frozen yogurt (I love that pay-by-the-ounce frozen yogurt concept) and found a seat near the escalators.

At one point while I was working, I ended up noticing a girl who was about three years old, and it became obvious that she had no parent around. She was just wandering around. So long story short, I went and got her, and after about ten minutes I and the Cinnabon counter girl and another couple managed to reunite her with some rather frantic parents who'd lost her and were literally running around the mall trying to find her. (The Cinnabon girl didn't know how to reach mall security, which I found rather interesting, and we found the parents before we got word to mall security.)

But the part that got me thinking was that there's a risk for a 40-something guy to go approach a lost three year-old girl. If you walk up at the wrong time, you get tackled by a parent and get arrested as a stranger abduction pervert and you end up on the sex offender registry after being brutalized in prison for a period of time of not less than six to ten years, and no one's ever going to believe that you were trying to help. So as soon as I confirmed she was lost, I immediately steered her toward the teenage girl who was running the Cinnabon, because she would qualify as a trusted person more than I would. Kind of sad, really.

[Kyle DeLexus]

Originally Posted by Chiefs Rool

no I don't, but my wife wasn't home. I try to be a good person, but there is no way you take someone elses kid in your car when you are a man. If my wife was with me, it might be ok. But there's just no way. I mean, it was the middle of the day and I hope he made it home safe. But there is absolutely no way I would drive someone elses kid that I don't know home. You would get thrown in prison for that, that's ****ed up, but you would.

The thing about it is, what if you had watched the news that night or the next and you see a picture of that kid and he's gone missing? I'd probably risk it and make sure he got home safe.

[Fairplay]

That is good news Rainman and i'm proud of you, as should the rest of CP as well.

[Hootie]

I'd give the kid a ride home...

are you kidding me???

Wow. If a 7 year old kid needs a ride home I'm giving him one...if it's some desperate ploy or money play by the parents to try and get the kid to call rape then ****...I guess I walked into that trap...

but I'm not going to tell a 7 year old "tough luck" when they need help...especially if it just requires a short 5 minute ride home.

That's just insane.

[Hootie]

and when we got to his house I'd walk up to the front door and make sure his/her parents knew what had happened and tell them to, I don't know, try and keep a better eye on their freaking kid.

[cdcox]

If I thought everything through clearly, I would have called 911 to have the kid picked up, regardless if that was what he wanted or not.

[Hootie]

he's freaking 7 years old...

I would have put him in the backseat of my car, driven him to his house, went up to the front door and knocked...

If the parents answered, I would have explained to them what had happened and told them I'm glad I didn't have to get the police involved...

If they didn't answer, I guess I would have stayed right there and then called the police and left it in their hands.

[FAX]

I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, Mr. Rain Man, but this is actually the latest insidious scheme in the world of midget crime. That "3 year-old" you encountered was actually a midget pretending to be a little girl. Her "parents" were midget accomplices. You did not save a little girl. Rather, you inadvertently foiled an ingenious midget plot to steal the contents of the cash register and an untold number of Cinnabons. Had the midget been caught in the act by the Cinnabon girl, the "parents" were in the mall to help the midget escape justice.

In future, the best thing to do in a situation like this is to approach the midget as though you were offering candy in order to gain the midget's trust. Once you have sufficiently neared the midget, you then beat the midget mercilessly and repeatedly upon the top of the head with a chair or laptop computer or other solid object until the police arrive.

FAX

[Earthling]

Originally Posted by Chiefs Rool

I had a 7 or 8 year old boy ring my doorbell last year, he was walking home and he wanted to use my phone. I step outside and hand him my cell phone, no answer. He says he lives a few miles away and asks for a ride home. I told him that there is no way I could do that. I wanted to help him, but I knew if I gave him a ride, then I would most likely get thrown in jail as a pervert, kidnapper, whatever. He seemed sad and walked off.

Dude this is screwed up...on your part.

[mikey23545]

Originally Posted by ClayWhit

Ice cream places must make money hand over fist. Think about how much ice cream you can buy for $6.66 at the grocery store.

And if it's self-serve, you save on employee labor.

I think I should open an ice cream hole-in-the-wall. I live right by a high school, literally around the corner, and there's a small business strip with two vacant stores. If I could undercut the TCBY which is down the road (about 5 miles), maybe it would work?

I think you should take all the money you make writing about pro football and buy yourself an ice cream truck.

Somehow you seem like the kind of guy who would drive an ice cream truck around the block, and around the block, and around...

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I first encountered it in Juneau when I was in Alaska last year, and now they're popping up all over Denver.

Juneau is cool. The only state capitol you can't drive to. (For those unfamiliar: it's got mountains on one side and water on the other, and is not connected by road to any other city. Everything has to be shipped or flown in.) Many people also don't realize it's technically a rainforest so they don't get a whole lot of snow; people just assume "Alaska = ten feet of snow every year".

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Chiefs Rool

I had a 7 or 8 year old boy ring my doorbell last year, he was walking home and he wanted to use my phone. I step outside and hand him my cell phone, no answer. He says he lives a few miles away and asks for a ride home. I told him that there is no way I could do that. I wanted to help him, but I knew if I gave him a ride, then I would most likely get thrown in jail as a pervert, kidnapper, whatever. He seemed sad and walked off.

I made the difference in the life of a child today. Some kid rang my doorbell, said he wanted to use my phone because the guy down the street wouldn't give him a ride home. So I dragged him in the house and chained him in the basement and did things he'll need years of therapy to get over.


























What, you perverts? I just made him watch a lot of Herm Edwards press conferences.

[Gonzo]

Originally Posted by FAX

I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, Mr. Rain Man, but this is actually the latest insidious scheme in the world of midget crime. That "3 year-old" you encountered was actually a midget pretending to be a little girl. Her "parents" were midget accomplices. You did not save a little girl. Rather, you inadvertently foiled an ingenious midget plot to steal the contents of the cash register and an untold number of Cinnabons. Had the midget been caught in the act by the Cinnabon girl, the "parents" were in the mall to help the midget escape justice.

In future, the best thing to do in a situation like this is to approach the midget as though you were offering candy in order to gain the midget's trust. Once you have sufficiently neared the midget, you then beat the midget mercilessly and repeatedly upon the top of the head with a chair or laptop computer or other solid object until the police arrive.

FAX

We prefer "Little People" there FAX.
Posted via Mobile Device

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Gonzo

We prefer "Little People" there FAX.
Posted via Mobile Device

"Little" is an insulting diminutive. Vertically-challenged.

[RedNFeisty]

Originally Posted by Chiefs Rool

no I don't, but my wife wasn't home. I try to be a good person, but there is no way you take someone elses kid in your car when you are a man. If my wife was with me, it might be ok. But there's just no way. I mean, it was the middle of the day and I hope he made it home safe. But there is absolutely no way I would drive someone elses kid that I don't know home. You would get thrown in prison for that, that's ****ed up, but you would.

You could have walked him home, to ensure he made it safely. I don't blame you for not driving him home. I would probably flip out a tad being a parent, if a stranger drove my child home. It would be my child I flip out on, however, not very bright on the kids part, even asking.

I wonder where the parents were anyway?

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If you don't know Cinnabon, you should immediately jet to the nearest city that has one. Cinnabon is one of the ten greatest things on earth.

Cinnabon cereal cracks the top 50, at least.

Originally Posted by Chiefs Rool

I had a 7 or 8 year old boy ring my doorbell last year, he was walking home and he wanted to use my phone. I step outside and hand him my cell phone, no answer. He says he lives a few miles away and asks for a ride home. I told him that there is no way I could do that. I wanted to help him, but I knew if I gave him a ride, then I would most likely get thrown in jail as a pervert, kidnapper, whatever. He seemed sad and walked off.

Dude...douche move.