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10-06-2006, 03:01 PM | #46 | |
"Think BOOM!"
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Quote:
I also don't think he was gay, but I'm not sure. Last I heard, he was married with kids. I think he was just one of those guys that was WAY over-sexed. That's all he talked about.
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I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you? |
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10-06-2006, 03:03 PM | #47 |
In Search of a Life
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They have all been worst dates lately-jeez are all women fuckin crazy biatches nowdays??
Best date-went to 3 doors down concert and got a BJ on the way home, all the way down Truman road. A cop pulled up next to us at a red light, but could see anything because I was in a van. Of course she wants to be a bad girl because the pigs were next to us. She steps it up til I couldn't hold out any longer. I was drunk, gettin a BJ, and this cop is just staring at me wondering what the hell I was smiling about. He just shook his head and drove off-probably thought I was hitting on him or something. |
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10-06-2006, 03:03 PM | #48 |
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
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Location: Billings, Montana
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The Worst:
I took this "girlfriend" out on a date. After the end of the night we go back to her place to play (well you know) This we going as planned when this loud WHAP comes from upstairs. I ask her what the hell was that? I have no idea she says. All of a sudden there were footsteps coming down the stairs and it is her ex boy friend. He went about 235 and was holding a tire iron. I had had time to throw on some pants, but that was about it. He asked where *** was, I look around and she had vanished. He told me to leave, I told him I wasn't going any place. He looked at me like I was nuts for not leaving and told me he was going to kill me. He takes the tire iron and starts destroying items in the room like mirrors, walls etc. I'm just standing back in the corner with a pencil in my hand. People that have had any self defense won't have to ask, those how haven't, think about it. All of a sudden *** magically appears from out of the closet. They get into a big pissing match with her standing there in her birthday suit. I'm thinking this is WAY WRONG, like two boy scouts in the same bunk wrong. While I'm standing there in the corner in amazement, I hear yet more footsteps up stairs. I hear, Police! Tire iron boy slides the steel under the bed and tries to make a break for it past the cops...........wrong. They take him down and give him a couple of head knocks. I look at both of them a little closer and one of them is a friend of mine from high school. We step off to the side and I told him what went down. He assured me they would "take the "long way" down to the police station with a stop or two along the way to beat some sense into him. Cops take off with tire iron boy and I ask girlfriend dearest what the fuvk that was all about? She claimed to have no idea. Needless to say, I called bullshit and kicked her to the curb on the spot. A few months later I am walking through a bar in a little mountain town called Red Lodge about 60 miles from here and who should be sitting there on a bar stool.....you guessed it, tire iron boy. I walked up to him and said "do you remember me." He looked at me and all he could come up with was "oh shit." I hit him with a Round house kick upside the noggin and on the floor he goes, out like a light. I figured that was my cue to leave town befoe the cops showed up, which I did. I haven't seen him again.
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Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you. Last edited by Bwana; 10-06-2006 at 03:13 PM.. |
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10-06-2006, 03:23 PM | #49 |
Be Kind To Your Pets
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Worst dates almost always involve puking.
In junior high school I took my girlfriend to Worlds of Fun. It was a school thing, the whole school went. She ate a bunch of cotton candy and cokes and general amusement park crap. Then she wanted to go on a ride called the "Finnish Fling." If you've never heard of the "Finnish Fling." it was basically a round centrifical force chamber that spun like a top. The gravity would push you against the wall, and as it went round faster and faster, the floor drops away and you are pinned to the wall. Cool ride, unless you get dizzy real easy from spinning and spinning fast. My date turned green, did the big spit, and then the centrifical force pulled all the barf right back on her. Oh man, what a mess. At least she ralphed on herself. Terrible...Terrible. One time in college I was invited by a girl to go camping with her out in rural Missouri. We'd never gone out before. She said, we'll share my tent. I'll have some friends there at the campsite, but they're cool. It'll be fun. OK, I thought. Tent, chick, weekend, great! So I went. Turned out her "friends" were her four brothers, all drunken biker dudes, none of them brought a date. I think they thought I was going to be the "entertainment" for the evening. So it's these four dudes, their little sister, and me. Yikes said Skippy. I got the hell outta there as soon as everybody passed out drunk. Can you say "Deliverance?" Best dates: I had a girlfriend in St. Louis who liked to park out by Lambert at this spot where the jets come in low for a landing. They'd come down maybe 200 feet over the top of the car, loud as hell. Jets made her frisky for some reason. Back in the early 1980s I took a girl to a Grateful Dead concert at Municipal Auditorium in KC. Across the street was a Holiday Inn high rise hotel. We had an "altered" good time at the Dead Concert. A friend of mine had a room at the Holiday Inn, and invited us over for an after show party. He said he was on the 6th floor. By this time it was around Midnight. We got on the elevator, accidentally got off on the 5th floor which was the top level of the parking garage which was closed off to cars. The hotel was doing some rennovation, and had all this hotel stuff like tables, desks, chairs and stuff piled all over the place in the parking stalls. In one corner was stacks and stacks of mattresses. Like, 200 mattresses. So this girl pulls me over to the mattresses...and well, it was a special night in the parking garage. Saw the sun come up, carried her over my shoulder to the car and we drove home to Columbia. What a night. |
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10-06-2006, 03:25 PM | #50 |
Banned
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I don't know if I believe the last part, bwana...
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10-06-2006, 03:30 PM | #51 | |
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
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Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you. |
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10-06-2006, 03:34 PM | #52 | |
best in the biz
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10-06-2006, 03:34 PM | #53 | |
Starter
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I believe him. I am quite sure Bwana would know him if he saw him again. |
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10-06-2006, 03:39 PM | #54 |
Please squeeze
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Losing my virginity to a heifer in the back of her S-10.
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10-06-2006, 04:12 PM | #55 |
I've Become - Comfortably Numb
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Worst Date: Thank God I've forgotten about it !!!
Best Date: A 6 pack of beer and a bottle of hand lotion !!!
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' |
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10-06-2006, 04:42 PM | #56 |
We got DANCERS in tampa
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Skeezo the clown!
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10-06-2006, 07:16 PM | #57 | |
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
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Quote:
__________________
Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you. |
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10-07-2006, 12:56 AM | #58 |
I'll be back.
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Bwana must wear a gun belt that carries a six-shooter...
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10-07-2006, 01:22 AM | #59 |
Woman should only make babies
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this one date really sucked because i wore mesh shorts to the restaurant and they said I had to dress better to eat there. It was the best "big johnson" shirt i had and i was wearing nike shorts. WTF
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10-07-2006, 02:59 AM | #60 | |
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Thanks........ |
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