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Old 10-28-2010, 10:56 AM  
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is offline
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NFT: Furk, I'm a moran (College related)
So I procrastinated due to a lack of personal direction and now have 24 hours to write a 5 page paper over the Sun Also Rises. Professor was open ended on topic and we only vaguely discussed a paper dealing with Robert Cohn but I dunno how I can get that to 5 pages without spamming block quotes. Apparently there are some other highly edumacated people on this board and I'd appreciate some assistance.
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:35 PM   #46
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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Originally Posted by Saulbadguy View Post
Use the maximum available requirements that have been given to you. Margins, spacing, font size, etc. Never use contractions, always use the lengthiest words available to you. Try to not to use any nouns or verbs under 5 letters, use a thesaurus. Use in text citations wherever possible. End with a bullshit "personal reflection" that is several paragraphs long.

God speed.
This shit is horribly transparent to anyone who has ever graded papers and isn't a completely lazy mother****er.
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:40 PM   #47
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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Originally Posted by Saulbadguy View Post
Easy.

First 2-3 pages should be a strong introduction.
Middle 8 to 9 pages can be bullshit. Teachers don't even read this shit. You might as well put pornographic photos in there, they won't notice.
Finish strong the last few pages. Cite sources. Have proper MLA/APA formatting. You'll get at least a B.
Who in the **** were your teachers?
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:45 PM   #48
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is offline
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Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins View Post
Who in the **** were your teachers?
Someone well versed in sarcasm?
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:48 PM   #49
Rudy tossed tigger's salad Rudy tossed tigger's salad is offline
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Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins View Post
This shit is horribly transparent to anyone who has ever graded papers and isn't a completely lazy mother****er.
You ever notice when all the periods are size 14 font? That can add length and it's the only way I can recall that isn't completely noticeable.
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:24 PM   #50
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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Originally Posted by Lemon_Pie View Post
You ever notice when all the periods are size 14 font? That can add length and it's the only way I can recall that isn't completely noticeable.
That's one I've never looked for, but given that they look all emboldened, it would look weird, especially if the student didn't print it out on an ink-jet.

It never ceases to amaze me how many dumbasses think that spacing their papers at 2.1 or 2.2 isn't completely obvious.

Given that I follow MLA for all submissions, and I take rough drafts electronically, the easiest way to see if someone has ****ed with the paper is to first select all and then change it to Times 12 point, as that's what it needs to be for standards, anyway.
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:00 AM   #51
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For those 50 pagers...do they actually read every page? Really...WTF? I would imagine TAs would go crazy if they had a stack of 50 page essays to grade.
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:00 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins View Post
That's one I've never looked for, but given that they look all emboldened, it would look weird, especially if the student didn't print it out on an ink-jet.

It never ceases to amaze me how many dumbasses think that spacing their papers at 2.1 or 2.2 isn't completely obvious.

Given that I follow MLA for all submissions, and I take rough drafts electronically, the easiest way to see if someone has ****ed with the paper is to first select all and then change it to Times 12 point, as that's what it needs to be for standards, anyway.
You're a english professor?
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:04 AM   #53
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yeah got a 88% on my 5 pager today. would have been high 90's had I not forgot in-text citations. no big deal really.
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:15 AM   #54
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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Originally Posted by Bozo1970 View Post
yeah got a 88% on my 5 pager today. would have been high 90's had I not forgot in-text citations. no big deal really.
Wow...if students make no attempt to cite anything in the text, most profs won't even pass them.
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:16 AM   #55
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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Originally Posted by KcChiefsKing View Post
For those 50 pagers...do they actually read every page? Really...WTF? I would imagine TAs would go crazy if they had a stack of 50 page essays to grade.
50+ page papers are going to be capstone papers in smaller classes, usually seminars, and will be read by a professor, not a TA.
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Old 10-29-2010, 10:01 AM   #56
Saulbadguy Saulbadguy is offline
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Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins View Post
Who in the **** were your teachers?
Junior college/lower level classes.

I haven't/won't use those methods for my upper level classes.
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Old 10-29-2010, 10:42 AM   #57
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I'm definitely a procrastinator, wrote a 10-page history term paper in one night last year, ended up with a 90/100 on it.

As for your paper, if all else fails, print this off & turn it in:
http://www.tiglo.co.uk/images/essay.jpg
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Old 10-29-2010, 10:47 AM   #58
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Originally Posted by 58kcfan89 View Post
I'm definitely a procrastinator, wrote a 10-page history term paper in one night last year, ended up with a 90/100 on it.

As for your paper, if all else fails, print this off & turn it in:
http://www.tiglo.co.uk/images/essay.jpg


And still got a 61%

Passing grade, FTMFW.
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Old 10-29-2010, 10:50 AM   #59
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I'll write anyones paper if they take this Political Communications class for me. Jesus I can't read this ****ing book.
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Old 10-29-2010, 11:07 AM   #60
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Less than an hour left and I need only a page and a half or so. **** page requirements, I'm a content guy.

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