One of my colleagues from college married a former student of his

[LVNHACK]

Really...who gives a **** ?

[-King-]

There is a lot of typing being done in this thread.
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[RealSNR]

It's not the age that concerns me. How many times has that been said now?

[Ceej]

I'm seeing a lot of words I dont think CPers use in real life!

[58-4ever]

I think it's more creepy that you're Facebook stalking an acquaintance and the "creepy" factor is actually jealousy..

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by 58-4ever

I think it's more creepy that you're Facebook stalking an acquaintance and the "creepy" factor is actually jealousy..

Just one more reason I say **** you, to Facebook.

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by 58-4ever

I think it's more creepy that you're Facebook stalking an acquaintance and the "creepy" factor is actually jealousy..

1. My acquaintance sent me a wedding invitation. I'm not "stalking" shit.

2. I'm married.

3. Get AIDS.

[Frazod]

Meh. I'm eight years older than my wife.

[cdcox]

Teachers shouldn't date their students, regardless of the ages of the participants, for obvious reasons. Any one who thinks otherwise is just wrong from an ethical perspective.

Basically the relationship needs to stay professional until the faculty member no longer has the ability to influence, either positively or negatively, the student's academic career. After the student finishes the class, graduates from the department, and the power imbalance and temptations to show favoritism are completely removed, ethical concerns are less but could persist in certain cases. For example, using ones influence with peers to assist the career of the protege is out of bounds and the ability to do so could persist for years.

Obviously student-faculty relationships don't always happen this way. Most administrators are hesitant to sanction a faculty member unless it is a sexual harassment situation, although I am aware of cases of consensual faculty-student relationships where sanctions were given.

In a case where the couple ends up in long term committed relationship after the student-faculty relationship has ended, I am personally willing to consider the reprehensibly and ethically bankrupt indiscretions of the past to be in the category of "let bygones be bygones".

[SPATCH]

Originally Posted by cdcox

Teachers shouldn't date their students, regardless of the ages of the participants, for obvious reasons. Any one who thinks otherwise is just wrong from an ethical perspective.

I agree, in principle, with this policy. However, I regard human love as an extremely complex phenomenon, and one that transcends bullshit "policies" and "ethical perspectives" and what not. Good on them that they were able to wait two years after the teacher-student thing. Shame on OP and the rest of you for judging them.

Intelligent people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

Their love is not of your concern.

[wazu]

Originally Posted by the_spatula

I agree, in principle, with this policy. However, I regard human love as an extremely complex phenomenon, and one that transcends bullshit "policies" and "ethical perspectives" and what not. Good on them that they were able to wait two years after the teacher-student thing. Shame on OP and the rest of you for judging them.

Intelligent people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

Their love is not of your concern.

Wisdom found here.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by the_spatula

I agree, in principle, with this policy. However, I regard human love as an extremely complex phenomenon, and one that transcends bullshit "policies" and "ethical perspectives" and what not. Good on them that they were able to wait two years after the teacher-student thing. Shame on OP and the rest of you for judging them.

Intelligent people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

Their love is not of your concern.

Ok, lets talk about ideas. Tell me how you would feel in each of the following circumstances:

1. You are in a class. It is a tough one and the instructor is tough. You have to do well in the class to compete for one of a few limited slots in the program. You are on the borderline into making it into the program. One of your fellow students, who is below you academically, is screwing the professor.

2. You are a dean. You answer to the chancellor, to the public, to all the faculty and to the student body. One of the faculty members you supervise seems to be having a relationship with one of the students. This faculty member has a past history of making advances toward students. Some of them have ended badly and there have been rumors that some of the students were coerced into the relationship. These past rumors were related to incidents under a former dean. You have no idea about whether the relationship is completely consensual or not. If it is not, and you have no way of knowing, the school could be open to a sexual harassment lawsuit.

3. You are in a class and you need to do well in it. You are in a good relationship, Your professor (of the sex you are attracted to) makes a move on you. You aren't really attracted to this person and besides you are already in a relationship. This professor is persistent in their advances. You can't go to the department head or the dean because they all treat their students the same way.

There are darn good reasons for ethics. They aren't bullshit policies that someone pulled out of their ass just to beat down other people.

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by cdcox

Ok, lets talk about ideas. Tell me how you would feel in each of the following circumstances

yet none of your examples are relevant to this situation

1. You are in a class. It is a tough one and the instructor is tough. You have to do well in the class to compete for one of a few limited slots in the program. You are on the borderline into making it into the program. One of your fellow students, who is below you academically, is screwing the professor.

There is nothing in this entire thread that states that they had any sort of relationship while she was his student... much less one of a sexual nature.

2. You are a dean. You answer to the chancellor, to the public, to all the faculty and to the student body. One of the faculty members you supervise seems to be having a relationship with one of the students. This faculty member has a past history of making advances toward students. Some of them have ended badly and there have been rumors that some of the students were coerced into the relationship. These past rumors were related to incidents under a former dean. You have no idea about whether the relationship is completely consensual or not. If it is not, and you have no way of knowing, the school could be open to a sexual harassment lawsuit.

There is nothing in this entire thread that states that this guy has a history of making advances, failed or successful, on his students. Nor is there anything that states that these "relationships" ended badly or that the students were coerced into anything. In fact, their getting married 2 years after she was his student points to the opposite.

3. You are in a class and you need to do well in it. You are in a good relationship, Your professor (of the sex you are attracted to) makes a move on you. You aren't really attracted to this person and besides you are already in a relationship. This professor is persistent in their advances. You can't go to the department head or the dean because they all treat their students the same way.

If you happen to attend a school full of creepy student fondling janitors, teachers, department heads, deans, and board of directors... you probably need to file a lawsuit and find another school to go to.

There are darn good reasons for ethics. They aren't bullshit policies that someone pulled out of their ass just to beat down other people.

There are. But when she was no longer his adult college student, his ethical responsibility to not have a relationship with her ended.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

yet none of your examples are relevant to this situation



There is nothing in this entire thread that states that they had any sort of relationship while she was his student... much less one of a sexual nature.



There is nothing in this entire thread that states that this guy has a history of making advances, failed or successful, on his students. Nor is there anything that states that these "relationships" ended badly or that the students were coerced into anything. In fact, their getting married 2 years after she was his student points to the opposite.



If you happen to attend a school full of creepy student fondling janitors, teachers, department heads, deans, and board of directors... you probably need to file a lawsuit and find another school to go to.



There are. But when she was no longer his adult college student, his ethical responsibility to not have a relationship with her ended.

My first post in this thread was #58. You'll notice that I was talking about the ethics of such situations in general and didn't mention anything about the specifics of SNR's case. Spatula fired back about bullshit ethical policies. I was demonstrating that policies are in place for a reason.

I still have not made a single comment about the specifics of SNR's acquaintance. So the fact that none of my examples pertains to that situation is irrelevant to the context of my slice of this tread.

Now, specific to SNR's case, if they were having a sexual relationship while there was also a student-teacher relationship, it was unethical.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by the_spatula

I agree, in principle, with this policy. However, I regard human love as an extremely complex phenomenon, and one that transcends bullshit "policies" and "ethical perspectives" and what not. Good on them that they were able to wait two years after the teacher-student thing. Shame on OP and the rest of you for judging them.

Intelligent people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.

Their love is not of your concern.

Holy shit. I'm going to use that line. Very nice.