Biggest Regret(s) of Your Life

[Rain Man]

In terms of actual changes I would go back and make, it would be eating a healthier diet. I'm paying now for bad decisions back then.

There are other events that were bad, but I survived them and they led me to my current life, which I'm very happy with. So I wouldn't risk upsetting that path. I learned something from the various bad things, so maybe having those experiences kept me from having them again later.

Here's an oddity, though, and I wonder if I could have avoided some major headaches without changing my path.

What actually happened: After college, I took a job in St. Louis mostly to mollify a girlfriend and my mother, who both wanted me to stay in the Missouri area. I spent five years there, and was miserable the entire time. Nothing went right, except for one key thing: I met my wife. If not for that, I would easily root for changing my decision there. And it's possible that I could do it anyway. Why? See below.

What could have happened: I had two nearly identical job offers, one in St. Louis and one in Texas. I wanted to move to Texas, but didn't for the reasons cited above. But let's say I did. I would have dumped the girlfriend, which would have been a huge positive, and gotten some distance from my family, which would have been another huge positive. The jobs were more or less the same, so that's neutral. But what about meeting my wife?

Well, I met my wife when she took a job in my company. So would I have met her if I hadn't taken that job? As it turns out, she moved to Missouri from Texas to take the job. Her old job in Texas? It was at the very same company that had offered me the job. The two companies were partnered on a big contract, so she was working on the same project that I was, just at the other company. So it's quite possible that we would have met even if I had taken the Texas job. If I went back in time and took the Texas job, I could have avoided a five-year dumpster fire in St. Louis and still harvested the one positive takeaway.

[Third Eye]

I definitely made my share of mistakes along the journey, but I really only regret 2 of them.

The first was electing to stay in KC out of High School so I could play football at William Jewell. I had the opportunity to essentially go anywhere I wanted (not for football) and I probably missed out on some experiences because of that decision. I like where I am now, so regret may not be the right word, but I do think about it from time to time.

The other one, and this one is a legitimate regret, was cheating on an ex. It was a complicated situation, but it was definitely a scumbag move.

[DJ's left nut]

I swear Rain Man is Walter Mitty.

[displacedinMN]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I swear Rain Man is Walter Mitty.

He has a fantastic mind.

[Katipan]

And what if Luv is 15X the mom because of when she had him, and Rain Man avoided the murderous Cowboy stalker that wifey unknowingly escaped, and Showtime developed an unhealthy obsession for cocaine and Funko, and Frazod was crushed by a brand new refrigerator, and DJ ended up in jail for espionage, and Pepe didn’t traumatize the car full of children by jumping off the bridge, and allllllll those ****ing MN kids that would be even dumber without teacher.

Live in the present.

[BWillie]

I invented Twitter in 2003.

[Bump]

Maybe not the biggest but there was this really hot girl that I worked with in college that really wanted to date me but I had a rule that I would never date anyone i worked with and wouldn't make any exception. I should have went for it.

[Rain Man]

In recognition of the butterfly effect, I think an interesting alternative to the 'regrets' question is this: if you could see a magical YouTube video that documents your life in an alternate reality where you made a pivotal decision, what fork in the road would you choose as your starting point?

I don't know if it's a good idea to even watch such a magical video, but it would be really interesting. A lot of us, or likely all of us, have made decisions that put our lives on a fundamentally different course compared to making a different choice. It would be weird to see myself with perhaps a different wife (though we've already confirmed that the universe set me on an irreversible course to my current wife) and a different job and maybe kids and living in a different place.

I would be interested in seeing the results of three different forks in the road.

Fork 1. When I was eighteen, I was going to be an architect. No question about it. That was the plan. Then my high school had a career day. I went to the architect's talk, and heard how it was not a great job and it paid low, and all the cool stuff you see about being an architect is fiction. I then went down the hall where an engineer told us how fantastic engineering was and how it paid great, so my plan changed on that day. I'd like to see how my life would have turned out if I had stayed home sick that day in high school.

Fork 2. When I was eighteen, I won a full-ride four-year scholarship to my dream college. I was stoked. I was all in. Then a couple of really bad things happened, and I couldn't go. Both were out of my control, so it really hurt to give that up. I'd be interested in watching the video of my life in a scenario where I was able to do that.

Fork 3. This one is more of a lark because I didn't really consider it seriously. But it would be a great video to watch to see how far off my life path I could have wandered. When I was graduating college, the Navy was hiring engineers to run nuclear reactors on submarines and aircraft carriers, and I found it really intriguing. I didn't have the gumption to do it, but I wonder how my life would have progressed if I had jumped out of my normalcy to do it.

I wouldn't trade any of these alternate lives for my current life, but it would be fun to see how they would have turned out.

[Katipan]

Oh I’m so doing sports management next lifetime.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Katipan

Oh I’m so doing sports management next lifetime.

While befriending Patrick Mahomes II in his childhood, I presume.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

While befriending Patrick Mahomes II in his childhood, I presume.

Now that you’ve manifested it, I have no doubt God is writing it down right now. 🥰

I’ll befriend Bronze one day.
But of everything I’ve learned this past NFL season, I get far more of a rush watching the crowd in the stands than the product on the field.

And I recognize the easy lay up joke there, I’m not really allowed to make that joke, so let’s just leave it alone. 😁

[kc rush]

I treated some people pretty poorly along the way which I regret. I turned that into a learning experience and raised my kids to do better.

My biggest regret was not patching things up with my brother. This was a work in progress and on me for plodding along with it. Unfortunately he was in a car accident and passed at 18. I missed my chance. My fault.

[scho63]

Being a Chiefs fan from 1970 to 2017 before Mahomes was drafted. I could have saved myself years of stress and false hopes......

[threebag]

Originally Posted by scho63

Being a Chiefs fan from 1970 to 2017 before Mahomes was drafted. I could have saved myself years of stress and false hopes......

So, you’d give up on the 10” python, mullet and Camaro? That’s loser mentality, bro.

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

In recognition of the butterfly effect, I think an interesting alternative to the 'regrets' question is this: if you could see a magical YouTube video that documents your life in an alternate reality where you made a pivotal decision, what fork in the road would you choose as your starting point?

I don't know if it's a good idea to even watch such a magical video, but it would be really interesting. A lot of us, or likely all of us, have made decisions that put our lives on a fundamentally different course compared to making a different choice. It would be weird to see myself with perhaps a different wife (though we've already confirmed that the universe set me on an irreversible course to my current wife) and a different job and maybe kids and living in a different place.

I would be interested in seeing the results of three different forks in the road.

Fork 1. When I was eighteen, I was going to be an architect. No question about it. That was the plan. Then my high school had a career day. I went to the architect's talk, and heard how it was not a great job and it paid low, and all the cool stuff you see about being an architect is fiction. I then went down the hall where an engineer told us how fantastic engineering was and how it paid great, so my plan changed on that day. I'd like to see how my life would have turned out if I had stayed home sick that day in high school.

Fork 2. When I was eighteen, I won a full-ride four-year scholarship to my dream college. I was stoked. I was all in. Then a couple of really bad things happened, and I couldn't go. Both were out of my control, so it really hurt to give that up. I'd be interested in watching the video of my life in a scenario where I was able to do that.

Fork 3. This one is more of a lark because I didn't really consider it seriously. But it would be a great video to watch to see how far off my life path I could have wandered. When I was graduating college, the Navy was hiring engineers to run nuclear reactors on submarines and aircraft carriers, and I found it really intriguing. I didn't have the gumption to do it, but I wonder how my life would have progressed if I had jumped out of my normalcy to do it.

I wouldn't trade any of these alternate lives for my current life, but it would be fun to see how they would have turned out.

There wasn't one specific fork when I was choosing a college, but that's kind of the issue... got some junk mail, applied to Northwest Missouri State, went there. In-state tuition, close to KC. I guess the fork could be thinking twice about that, even though I never really did.

In college, a buddy of mine got an internship at DisneyWorld along with several other people... I didn't get it and was pretty bitter about it at the time. I don't think life would have turned out better, but it would be interesting to see it play out (my buddy never left Disney; guessing I would have after one summer, since the initial intern was mostly just amusement park labor and had zilch to do with IT.. but who knows, maybe just the name on a resume would have helped, too).

Other interesting forks would be career-related... if I didn't move to Omaha for an IT job or never moved to Arizona. The former was huge jump for my career, but who knows, could have easily landed elsewhere later (and I ended up moving back to KC a couple years later anyway). The Arizona move was kind of on a whim... I imagine the other side of that decision would be someone traveling through time with me in that multiverse and saying "and this is what your life would have looked like" and future self says "oh god no, take me back to Arizona!" and multiverse me is all "what the **** was that?"