Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE

[Frazod]

The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the ****ing thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO ****ING LOSES THINGS!



And then, when I clearly bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.



Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO ****ING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by JazzzLovr

Somebody should build a robot.

I agree

[KCTitus]

It's really only 2 things...

First, my tombstone will say: "He waited..." I figure in the 15 years my wife and I have been married/dating, I have spent probably one single year waiting on her to get ready to go, leave for church, go to the parents house for dinner, go out to dinner...basically anything that required her to leave the house. But really, that's not the most irritating part...every single time she's leaving the house for ANY reason, she goes, gets in the car and then makes a minimum of TWO trips back inside for something. I never know what it is, but it's 2 trips back inside.

Second, someone mentioned the wife having a 'junk' drawer...how about a junk 'room' and it's not just any room, it's what is supposed to be the dining room. The wife's a pack rat, will not throw anything away. The house is so cluttered sometimes I just cant stand it and I go and hide out in my shed and watch ESPN. If I had the house for a month I could unload about 4 tons of junk and she would never miss it. Sometimes I'll try to secretly throw some of the stuff out, if she catches me I ask her if it's so important she can tell me exactly where I found it...If she's right, I'll let her keep it, if not, into the trash. She's yet to get it right one time.

[RNR]

You think she makes you mad now wait untill she is your ex!

[Iowanian]

This wouldn't be as much of a problem if you'd all listen to the Gospel of your good buddy Iowanian.

here it comes Endelt.....

"Spare the Rod, Spoil the Broad"
-Iowanian 3:16

[Brando]

My fiance gets up at 5:30 and turns off the alarm. I don't need to be up until 6:45. She refuses to reset the alarm or wake me up. Then she runs around telling me that I'm going to be late for work. I spend most mornings wanting to blast her to the moon.

[Iowanian]

Here's an idea...........get a 2nd clock.
I have my own Alarm clock but never use it....Brideowanian gets up earlier, gets ready and then comes in and rousts me from my slumber.

[Brando]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Here's an idea...........get a 2nd clock.
I have my own Alarm clock but never use it....Brideowanian gets up earlier, gets ready and then comes in and rousts me from my slumber.

I was thinking about chaining her up in the basement without food until she agrees to wake me with a bj every morning. We live in an old house and outlets are at a premium. After having her make up lights, fan, humidifier, and alarm clock plugged in I'm S.O.L.

[KCTitus]

I have an alarm clock/radio/cd player thing that I got last year for Christmas that has the ability to have 2 different alarm times and it has a button you press on Friday AM and it doesnt go off on Sat or Sun, but goes off again on Mon AM.

[jspchief]

Originally Posted by KCTitus

I have an alarm clock/radio/cd player thing that I got last year for Christmas that has the ability to have 2 different alarm times and it has a button you press on Friday AM and it doesnt go off on Sat or Sun, but goes off again on Mon AM.

Nice. The guy that invented that should win a freaking nobel prize.

[Brando]

Originally Posted by KCTitus

I have an alarm clock/radio/cd player thing that I got last year for Christmas that has the ability to have 2 different alarm times and it has a button you press on Friday AM and it doesnt go off on Sat or Sun, but goes off again on Mon AM.

Mine does the same thing. She has to have them both set for her. The real bite in the ass is that about the time I wake up Dr. Phil is giving his daily word of wisdom on KMBC (which is always on in the a.m. ).
Why am I telling you all this? That way someone will understand when I eventually end up in a belltower.

Originally Posted by Rausch

Here's my favorite (and by favorite, I mean $#it that makes me want to go Scott Peterson):

Me: Hey honey, where you want to eat?

Her: Oh, I don't care. What do you feel like.

Me: Anything's fine with me.

Her: Whatever you want.

Me: Ok. How about Chinese?

This is where our stories differ. I'll throw out 3 or 4 suggestions, and get vetoed on each. Why in the hell does she even ASK WTF I want to eat if she's gonna veto each? Bugs the shit out of me. Don't ASK me if you don't want my opinion.

But, she's the one who knows where everything is.... In fact, she's so good, sometimes I suspect she's moving stuff to obscure locations so she can look good. The other day, I found one flip flop exactly where it belonged in my closet. Hey, where's my other flip flop? Check the dog's toybox, she said. There it was. WTF is that? How did it get there? The dog damn sure didn't put it there because he wouldn't dare touch something that didn't belong to him (seriously).

[stevieray]

you want something to eat or drink? nope.

five minutes later you'r esharing your lunch.


Hangs shirts (that should be folded) on hangers, so when you pull it off the hanger, you have horns on your shoulders.

[KCTitus]

Originally Posted by Brando

Mine does the same thing. She has to have them both set for her. The real bite in the ass is that about the time I wake up Dr. Phil is giving his daily word of wisdom on KMBC (which is always on in the a.m. ).
Why am I telling you all this? That way someone will understand when I eventually end up in a belltower.

...

[RNR]

Originally Posted by stevieray

you want something to eat or drink? nope.

five minutes later your sharing your lunch.

[Boozer]

Originally Posted by Phobia

This is where our stories differ. I'll throw out 3 or 4 suggestions, and get vetoed on each. Why in the hell does she even ASK WTF I want to eat if she's gonna veto each? Bugs the shit out of me. Don't ASK me if you don't want my opinion.

GOD, that sounds familiar. I don't offer suggestions anymore, even when prompted. It's a hell of a lot easier to repeat "Why should I, you'll just shoot it down?" four times than think up places I'd actually like to eat and risk getting my hopes up.