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Old 10-06-2011, 07:03 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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The sluttiest girl at Penn State.
IT'S THE MOST UNIVERSAL THING...IN THE WORLD!

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive...g_nittany.aspx

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Let's talk sex, hugs and handjobs

By Kristina Helfer
Collegian Staff Writer

By now — my junior year of college — I have seen and been involved in some unusual romantic and even casual circumstances.

Though I am only 20, I feel like I am finally beginning to figure out human physiology… and maybe even relationships. You could say I’ve been around the block a few times, but I’m still experiencing new things every day, especially in Happy Valley, on the weekends.

I love sex.

I love talking about it, I love having it, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, male or female, who feels the same way.

Someday, all of us will be having sex — unless you’re still living in your mom’s basement — and it won’t be a big deal.

Maybe you’re having sex right now, while you’re reading this column (lucky you), maybe you had it last night, or maybe you’ve never had it at all, but sex is all around us.

We’re at the point in our lives when we are coming into our sexuality.

We’re learning the mating game.

Who knows, between hook-ups and the need to be “Facebook official,” we might even be the generation that completely kills relationships.

Have you had dirty thoughts about that cute kid at your internship? Have you wondered what your partner would say if you wanted to have sex on the 50-yard-line?

Well, I have, too.

Often, sex is taboo. We can’t discuss what goes on behind the closed doors of the bedroom,

or in my case, under a crabapple tree once.

If you’ve ever watched MTV’s Cribs, you know the first thing anyone says when they enter their bedroom is, “This is where the magic happens.”

Do they really need to say that? Are they sure they’re good enough to really call it magic?

At Penn State, it’s more than in the bedroom — it’s a lofted bed, a walk-in closet at a fraternity or the Nittany Lion Shrine.

For some, it’s a moment of true intimacy, for others it’s just another good night.

Sex is the most universal thing in the entire world. Almost every species — except for asexual ones — has sex in one form or another.

We were given these parts for a reason, so why not take advantage of them?

The thrill of having sex is like nothing else. It’s exciting, and everyone’s talking about it.

College is the time when those whispers become a reality, when people take others’ virginity and roommates are sexiled.

And it’s about time we start talking about it.

I’m not going to tell you to change your beliefs and go crazy, but it’s time to start being open.

It’s time to break society’s chains (or not), and look at sex from a different perspective.

Losing control draws me toward all of this.

I am not a thrill seeker, per se. I hate heights; I will never go skydiving. I don’t ski or mountain bike or do any sort of extreme sports that give you the “rush” people describe, so I have sex.

Don’t think for a minute that sex is a less dangerous version of an extreme sport.

And frankly, I don’t think any extreme sport could give you the feeling that a white-knuckle, toe-curling orgasm does.

The pleasure runs up and down your entire body, and just for a moment — or if you’re lucky, quite a few moments — you disconnect from the stressful world.

There is no better time to have a little fun and explore than in college.

We have few responsibilities, and there will never be as many willing people around to experience the same things with.

It’s also the time when were most unsure about how to go about sex.

I doubt any of us can call ourselves sex aficionados, so let’s dive into a sea of fondling, fellatio and frisking, and figure it out.

Let’s get our minds — and hopefully pelvises — moving, and really delve into what’s important.

Everyone has that crazy story or awkward encounter with a partner that is worthy of being told, and I can relate, so let’s talk about sex, hugs and hand jobs.

You may have thought you could drain away all of your weekend shenanigans, just like that beer bong at last weekend’s football tailgate, but I am here bring them back to the surface.

We are Nittany Lions.

And we’re mounting everyone.

Kristina Helfer is a junior majoring in English and Spanish. She is The Daily Collegian’s Thursday columnist for the Collegian’s sex column, Mounting Nittany.
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Old 10-07-2011, 04:34 PM   #61
allen_kcCard allen_kcCard is offline
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I guess I am the only guy in CP history that banged average looking chicks in college.
Hrmm...I only banged my future wife in college, but I think she is far better than average.
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Old 10-07-2011, 04:38 PM   #62
WhiteWhale WhiteWhale is offline
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You were tested for HPV? I'd like to know how, because last I heard, there was no way to test males for HPV.

I'm not going to guarantee that you have HPV, bro, but if I had to stake my life on it, I'd bet you have it.
Guess I wasn't aware it wasn't on the checklist.

Nor was I aware that only 1% of men display symptoms.

....

Ah well...

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You've kept track of the number girls you've laid? I'm not sure what to think of that. I get it, if you've only boned a handful. But seriously, after a dozen or so, who keeps a tally? Do you have a relic from weach one as well?
Mentally, yes. No tally though.

I keep my relics in my mind and in my heart. I hate pointless material crap like that. Most of those weren't just a piece of ass... they were people whom I remember vividly. All of them special in a unique way. Some pretty, some less than pretty. Some really nice, some sarcastic, some childish, and some just cynical.

I can also tell you how many times I've ridden various roller coasters, and how many concerts I've been to... and I've been to a TON of them (312). The numbers probably aren't reliable though. The human memory is an unreliable thing and is very prone to suggestion.
Last edited by WhiteWhale; 10-07-2011 at 04:50 PM..
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Old 10-07-2011, 04:49 PM   #63
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One so she can't see what a tool you are and the other so she won't laugh at your tiny cock?
You have low standards... I forgive you.

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ok, Playa


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Right? A 5-head with a beak and a set of bolt-ons that look like she had them done at a buy-one-get-one-free sale.
Coryle's Wife > Some slut from Penn State
Who agrees?
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Old 10-07-2011, 05:02 PM   #64
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Hrmm...I only banged my future wife in college, but I think she is far better than average.
As is my wife, but I banged her well after college.
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Old 10-07-2011, 06:01 PM   #65
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Guess I wasn't aware it wasn't on the checklist.

Nor was I aware that only 1% of men display symptoms.
Ah well...

Mentally, yes. No tally though.

I keep my relics in my mind and in my heart. I hate pointless material crap like that. Most of those weren't just a piece of ass... they were people whom I remember vividly. All of them special in a unique way. Some pretty, some less than pretty. Some really nice, some sarcastic, some childish, and some just cynical.

I can also tell you how many times I've ridden various roller coasters, and how many concerts I've been to... and I've been to a TON of them (312). The numbers probably aren't reliable though. The human memory is an unreliable thing and is very prone to suggestion.
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Old 10-07-2011, 06:54 PM   #66
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Originally Posted by ChiTown View Post
You've kept track of the number girls you've laid? I'm not sure what to think of that. I get it, if you've only boned a handful. But seriously, after a dozen or so, who keeps a tally? Do you have a relic from weach one as well?
It seems like the tally would be the best part about it. Otherwise it's like playing teeball where no one is ever declared a winner.

Well, the second best part now that I think about it. But still good.
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Old 10-07-2011, 06:55 PM   #67
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Old 10-07-2011, 07:09 PM   #68
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Old 10-07-2011, 07:21 PM   #69
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If this is authentic, and thats dubious, good for her. She doesn't play that double standard BS. As long as she's playing safe, and she truly enjoys adventure, not feeding a disorder, then, be young ,have fun. That's what we say to the boys, right?
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Old 10-07-2011, 07:46 PM   #70
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I love the internet.
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Old 10-08-2011, 07:09 AM   #71
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that was pretty good!

note on the comments, "tabbed for when tosh finds this video" and the one dislike is from Kristina,
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Old 10-08-2011, 09:02 AM   #72
Dallas Chief Dallas Chief is offline
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/sigh

It's Brodie "Air" Croyle's wife.
So sorry. I never understood the obsession with her round here. Bolt ons and big teeth. This is who I thought it was a pic of...
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