So glad to be home...

[sedated]

I'm the luckiest mother fucker on earth.

Been drinking since noon, mostly rebull-vodka, went to a buddies to watch KU game.

Driving home, realized on the highway that I got a headlight out, but have day-time-running lights that should cover me (right?)

Wrong. right before I turn into my apartment complex, a cop pulls behind me and puts on the lights. (I shove the container full of controband into my boxers)

"did you know you have a headlight out?"

"um..uh...I just...I known since the highway, was going to fix it tomorrow."

"Can I see ID and proof of insurance?"

I can't find my wallet in my pocket, so figure it must be in my little cooler pull of beer and whiskey. So, while he's shining his flashlight in my face, I reach in, clang around the empty beer bottles and find nothing. It's on the seat next to me.

"how much have you had to drink tonight?"

"um...hardly...n-n-nothing at all."

"where you coming from?"

"um...uh...watching the game at a friend's house." He takes ID and goes back to his car.

Meanwhile, I swallow the drugs in the container in my boxers, followed by some water (shit stuck in my teeth), and light up a cigarette.

He comes back. "where you headed?"

"I live right across the street, right there"

"When you gonna get that headlight fixed?"

"uh...um...first thing tomorrow, sir"

"I'm gonna give you a warning tonght. You better get right home, because I can smell some serious liquor on your breath."

"Thank you, sir"

"Have a good night."

"You are my best friend!" (yes, I actually said that)



and now I'm home to do some serious celebrating!!!!!