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Old 01-04-2011, 07:55 AM  
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:05 PM   #166
Ming the Merciless Ming the Merciless is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevieray View Post
...honesty IS always the best policy.
THIS^^^^^^

If she is gonna get hysterical for you telling her that you're feeling a little neglected than what would happen when some way more intense life problems occur....?

You feeling neglected could even be a sign of realizing she is distancing herself from you. I hate to say this , but her so rapidly wanting to break up after you mentioning feeling neglected could even be a sign she already has found someone else...Someone in her PHD program most likely...A 'friend' of hers.

Take this as a good thing...learn and grow and use this as motivation to hit the gym and find someone who wont give up so easily on you.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:06 PM   #167
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The perfect example is the question women always ask, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" Dude, if you don't lie about that question you will be in deep chit.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:12 PM   #168
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Maybe she thought... "WTF?!?! He's constantly gone playing hockey, I'm in school getting a PhD and HE feels "neglected"?!?! The hell with him then."
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:13 PM   #169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Comanche View Post
The perfect example is the question women always ask, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" Dude, if you don't lie about that question you will be in deep chit.
I like the Al Bundy answer, and have used it:

"It's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the FAT that makes you look fat."

Be prepared to get hit, though. Depending on the woman in question, sometimes you'll get hit really, really hard.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:13 PM
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:16 PM
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:17 PM   #170
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:24 PM
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:34 PM   #171
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This reminds me of that famous story that Grampa FAX related about that one time when he and Grandma FAX were preparing to go out and she was standing before the full-length mirror.

She kept remarking about how her dress made her look lumpy and how her haircut looked bad and how her shoes made her feet look big. Anyhow, she turned to Grampa FAX and said, "You know, you could give me a compliment once in awhile. It wouldn't hurt you." So, Grampa FAX thought for a moment and said, "Your eyesight is perfect. Let's roll."

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Old 01-04-2011, 02:36 PM   #172
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cntrygal View Post
Maybe she thought... "WTF?!?! He's constantly gone playing hockey, I'm in school getting a PhD and HE feels "neglected"?!?! The hell with him then."
Good point. If you're away so much, then that may be going thru her mind.

Did you ever tell her you want to marry her?

Do/Did you live with her, for any stretch?

If you helped her financially, and she calls it total quits, then settle the account, and drive on.

Later is later, regarding your potential future together. Just don't spend "later," looking back.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:43 PM   #173
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Okay, I've gone back and looked at the OP again. After further analyzation:

"She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore....."

In the first place, I don't get how a guy feels "neglected". But, anyway, the phrasing "I told her how I felt" has me concerned. Are you saying you basically were hinting she needed to choose between her PhD and spending more time with you? Because, not only is that pretty selfish, it would fairly irritate her, I'd think, leading to an off-the-cuff "**** you" type of reply. However, I also have a concern about how she jumped from your point to her response.

Guy: "You know, I feel kind of neglected."
Girl: "I'm not in love with you any more."

Sounds like she was basically using any opportunity to dump you.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:43 PM   #174
FAX FAX is offline
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That "never look back" stuff is easier said than done. But, it's good advice, nonetheless.

I once dated a nurse who worked at UCLA. Redhead. Nice tittahs. Nice blue eyes. She took care of me for a few weeks while I was in the hospital and then for a few weeks more once I was released. I messed up somehow ... probably got drunk, ate some Quaaludes, and said or did some outrageous and unspeakably horrific things or something along those lines. Anyhow, after she broke it off, I called her for a date and she said, "Never go back.". Apparently, I missed my one and only opportunity for a long and loving relationship with that particular nurse. Dang.

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Old 01-04-2011, 02:46 PM   #175
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I called her for a date and she said, "Never go back.". Apparently, I missed my one and only opportunity for a long and loving relationship with that particular nurse. Dang.

FAX
Maybe she went black.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:48 PM   #176
JD10367 JD10367 is offline
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Maybe she went black.
Or maybe she was also angrily saying, "Never go back door," 'cause in his Quaalude-and-booze stupor he PIIHB.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:49 PM   #177
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cntrygal View Post
Maybe she thought... "WTF?!?! He's constantly gone playing hockey, I'm in school getting a PhD and HE feels "neglected"?!?! The hell with him then."
not away a lot with hockey...She doesn't hang out on week nights anymore because she's either grading papers or she is writing papers to be published.
In the first two years she use to travel with me because she loves seeing new cities. Once the PhD came into play it was a done deal,

I spoke to her today to air some things out, it was a good productive talk. She never lied or hid anything from me & vice versa. She told me "I wish it was another man, it would be easier for both of us....." She feels that we were both too different of people & feels guilty for making me try to be someone I wasn't.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:50 PM   #178
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Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
not away a lot with hockey...She doesn't hang out on week nights anymore because she's either grading papers or she is writing papers to be published.
In the first two years she use to travel with me because she loves seeing new cities. Once the PhD came into play it was a done deal,

I spoke to her today to air some things out, it was a good productive talk. She never lied or hid anything from me & vice versa. She told me "I wish it was another man, it would be easier for both of us....." She feels that we were both too different of people & feels guilty for making me try to be someone I wasn't.
Run away.......quickly, and don't talk with her again.
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:51 PM   #179
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Maybe she went black.
Possibly. She struck me as highly ... uh ... innovative.

I did know this one redhead who went out with Rick James. I met her in a head shop in Van Nuys. She must have thought it was love at first sight or something. Followed me all the way to KS one time. Uninvited. Smoked all my weed and spent all my money. Damn girl could play a mean game of pool, though. Kept us in draft beer for almost a week.

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Old 01-04-2011, 02:51 PM   #180
Extra Point Extra Point is offline
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Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
not away a lot with hockey...She doesn't hang out on week nights anymore because she's either grading papers or she is writing papers to be published.
In the first two years she use to travel with me because she loves seeing new cities. Once the PhD came into play it was a done deal,

I spoke to her today to air some things out, it was a good productive talk. She never lied or hid anything from me & vice versa. She told me "I wish it was another man, it would be easier for both of us....." She feels that we were both too different of people & feels guilty for making me try to be someone I wasn't.
Good. Then FIX IT!
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