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Old 07-10-2005, 06:16 PM  
jspchief jspchief is offline
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How to kill Racoons?

I've got a bit of a problem. The local racoons have decided my backyard is a good place to take a dump. Normally this wouldn't bother me much, because I can just scoop it along with the dog poo. The thing is, everytime I let my dog out, and there is a fresh pile of racoon poo, he decides he needs to roll around in it.

As you can imagine, a dog that just rolled in fresh racoon sh*t doesn't smell very good. In fact, it's enough to gag a maggot. Since it normally happens at night, or first thing in the morning, I'm repeatedly stuck with a dog that needs a bath at the most inconvenient times. If I shower him at night, I have a wet dog that needs to stay inside (stinking of wet dog) until the morning. Bathing him first thing in the morning isn't exactly convenient either. And in general, regardless of the time of day, I don't enjoy bathing a 85 pound ADHD Weimeraner.

The obvious solution is to eliminate the racoons. What's not obvious is how to do it without discharging a gun within city limits. I would prefer to snuff the life out from the rotten little bastards, in a slow painful way. I'm also open to suggestions on how to just keep them off my property, but I really would prefer it if they were dead.

My thinking at this time is to leave out an anti-freeze smoothie. The plus side would be eliminating any stray cats as well. The downside is the risk to dogs. I may also try spotlighting them at night. Problem being my pellet gun won't kill them, and I can't hold a spotlight while shooting a bow. Not to mention waving a spotlight in a residential area at night is bound to attract cops.

Anyways, I'm open to suggestions. I may even try and post some sort of progress report, with pictures of the enemy's corpses.
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:45 PM   #61
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frazod
Try bullets.
Try cops.
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:51 PM   #62
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GOATSE
Try cops.
Hmm... good point. I've had enough of those one who sucks the peniss this weekend.
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Old 02-04-2008, 06:57 PM   #63
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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have you ever heard racoons fight? IT sounds like a gross between a cat being squashed in a trashcompactor and a bagpipe
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Old 02-04-2008, 07:32 PM   #64
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Old 02-04-2008, 07:56 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiefmanwillgetyou
This is a prime example why you want to kill the little bastards. They WILL come into your yard and bone your dog.
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Old 02-04-2008, 09:36 PM   #66
Chief Faithful Chief Faithful is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HC_Chief
Spring traps work great and they're cheap. Coons love chicken... throw a drumstick bone w/ some meat on it in the trap & you'll catch 'em in no time. Just be sure to get a solid trap... one that can take abuse & isn't easy to open (they're smart little bastards).
They also love kittens. Two birds one stone.
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Old 02-04-2008, 09:38 PM   #67
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Put some Peanut Butter in the street and run them over.
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Old 02-04-2008, 09:44 PM   #68
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That ****ing Coon was playing possum! He wouldn't budge an inch when I was poking him and squirting him earlier. Now he's up and moving around, pissing off the dog and making her bark her head off.

HOW THE **** DO I KILL THIS SOB?
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My name is Clay. I am a clueless moron when it comes to evaluating football talent. I thought that Pat Mahomes was unworthy of being drafted in the first round, also, I wanted Geno Smith first overall. I also claimed that tyreek hill was undeserving of even being in the CFL. I am wrong 20x more than I'm right and I will troll this site with my uneducated football takes.
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Old 02-04-2008, 09:50 PM   #69
Eleazar Eleazar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
Brilliant Idea, for the Suburban homeowner...

Its obvious JSP, you need to hire the Guntherizershow to rope in from a chopper at take a chain gun to them...........

rrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Old 02-04-2008, 09:57 PM   #70
Eleazar Eleazar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GOATSE
That ****ing Coon was playing possum! He wouldn't budge an inch when I was poking him and squirting him earlier. Now he's up and moving around, pissing off the dog and making her bark her head off.

HOW THE **** DO I KILL THIS SOB?
Go into the garage and find a garden tool or piece of sporting equipment such as a bat or a golf club. Beat the hell out of it.

You bergina
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Old 02-04-2008, 09:57 PM   #71
88TG88 88TG88 is offline
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Throw some big rocks at its head.
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Old 02-04-2008, 10:04 PM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cochise
Go into the garage and find a garden tool or piece of sporting equipment such as a bat or a golf club. Beat the hell out of it.

You bergina
Raccoons are too cute to kill with my own hands. I couldn't live with myself.
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My name is Clay. I am a clueless moron when it comes to evaluating football talent. I thought that Pat Mahomes was unworthy of being drafted in the first round, also, I wanted Geno Smith first overall. I also claimed that tyreek hill was undeserving of even being in the CFL. I am wrong 20x more than I'm right and I will troll this site with my uneducated football takes.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2008, 10:55 PM   #73
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cochise
Go into the garage and find a garden tool or piece of sporting equipment such as a bat or a golf club. Beat the hell out of it.

You bergina
That certainly works on possums. I beat a couple of them to death with an old table leg.

I don't have any particular malice towards coons, though.
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Old 02-04-2008, 11:01 PM   #74
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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racoons get big and they tend to get in your trash making a mess. they get pretty damn big. I saw a couple of them go into a sewer one time and this one fat **** barely could fit in.
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Old 02-04-2008, 11:03 PM   #75
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Seriously - if you want to kill it, quickly and quietly, try a crossbow. No restrictions on purchasing them - they even sell them on ebay.
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