My discovery of the world's most annoying human. - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 01:27 AM

Okay, I'm not very popular so I never get invited anywhere. However, my wife is popular, so she gets invited lots of places, and the host usually (not always) invites me along as part of a package deal.

So she/we get invited to a Super Bowl party today, and it's the same party we've gone to for about three years now. Nice host, big screen TV, below-average food, but it's free, so I'm not complaining, especially since they had some really big chocolate cookies this year. The other thing that helps is that the host lives about two miles from us, so it's an easy trip.

Well, we showed up today, and the first thing I notice is that the game is on, but no one's watching it, and I find that kind of weird. Everyone is milling about like it's a regular party, and not a party where the entire future of the football world is being determined on 60 inches of television twelve feet away. I start to get some crab dip, but before I can even get any food, some chick starts talking to me and I'm trapped there for fifteen minutes without food and WITH MY BACK TO THE TV! What is wrong with people today?

After a while, she begins to figure out my personality and makes an excuse to leave, and I get my food. I scout out the area, and find a nice quiet spot where I can eat my food and watch the game in peace, even though it's so loud that I can't hear anything and just have to watch it like I'm in a sports bar. I find a nice bar stool set up behind the couch, which is part of a line of bar stools that is completely vacant.

I watch about 20 minutes of the game in peace, and then this dude shows up with his fiance. They're both about 50 to 60, and this guy plants himself on a bar stool next to me and just starts blathering, and it's all this weird stuff that's just flat-out annoying.

Him: (Blather, blather, blather.) Who are you rooting for?

Me: Seattle.

Him: Oh. Yeah. You're one of those. You know what I mean? You're one of those. [Pats me on the leg]

Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Him: I don't care about the teams. I just pick one. [Extremely loud screeching noise when Seattle gets a first down. People turn and look at him. He makes the screeching noise again and pats me on the arm.]

Him: I saw a TV show last night. It was about animals. Do you like animals. I like animals. [Yells] THEY'RE F***ING GREAT! [People avoid us even more than they would normally avoid me.]

Me: Yeah. I have pets.

Him: I don't understand you people that don't like animals. I used to have a pet store.

Me: I like animals. I have pets.

Him: This TV show was great. It [blather, blather, blather for longer than the TV show could have lasted.] Hey, am I bothering you?

Me: How about those Seahawks?

Him: [Pats me on the leg. Blather, blather, blather. Screeches at Pittsburgh first down. Startles a nearby child and the mother glares at him.]

Him: [Blather, blather, blather, punctuated by a dozen or more arm punches or leg pats, and many screeches. I'm not even looking at him by this time, just nodding occasionally and watching the game. He asks twice more if he's bothering me, but doesn't take the hint and just keeps talking.]

Him: Hey, it's halftime! The Stones! [Yells way, way, way too loud] HEY, TURN UP THE TV! IT'S THE STONES! THE STONES! [People glare at him, and his fiance comes over and whispers something in his ear.]

Him: Hey, do you like the Rolling Stones?

Me: No.

Him: Ha, ha, ha.

And then it happened. I swear on the soul of my ancestors that it happened. This man, whom I had never before seen in my life, and who has been annoying the marrow out of my very bones for nearly a half-hour, did it. He reached over, and...

he...

tousled...

my....

hair.

This Baby Boomer man reached over, and he did the little squiggle thing with his hand on top of my head.

Who in the name of baby Michael Vick EVER does that to another person, in any circumstance, at any time, for any reason? This man wasn't drunk, he wasn't a mongoloid, and he wasn't a blind man with a hobby of phrenology. He was a man who, for some inexplicable reason that is known only to himself, thought that it would be a friendly bonding moment to reach over, place his hand on my bald head, and muss up the 24 remaining hairs that hunker atop it like the last defenders of Corregidor. What in the name of all that is holy and good was this person thinking about?

If the Nobel committee ever starts up a new prize for annoying, this guy is getting my nomination vote. Unbelievable.

Just to end the story, I got up and left at that point. Game over. I went and stood with another group of people, and this guy finally got up and wandered off.

Jilly · 02-06-2006, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I don't know for sure, but it's likely to be better than yesterday's show.... at least until I'm the same age as Mick.

I would suggest a banana hammock, a gold medallion, and some sort of made for TV Movie monologue. Like you said, anything would be better than a past his prime Mick.

Katipan · 02-06-2006, 11:31 AM

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

sedated · 02-06-2006, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TitsMagee

here's the deal, just have your own party. Invite everyone over early so all the chatting gets out of the way and poker, if that's your thing, that way by the time the game starts, everyone can focus. And also, if you have your own party, then you're in control of what dumbasses get invited...so you don't end up next to an attention whore.

what if you have no friends? and no home?

**Skip Towne** · 02-06-2006, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I don't know for sure, but it's likely to be better than yesterday's show.... at least until I'm the same age as Mick.

Nope, he looked shitty to me too.

chiefs4me · 02-06-2006, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jspchief

If that was the most annoying human in the world, I encountered the second most annoying human in the world.

Sitting at a sports bar, next to a group of about 30 pro hockey players. The smallest guy on the team proceeded to get drunk off his ass an hour before the game even started. By the time halftime arrived, he had managed to piss off about 60% of the 350+ capacity bar. Whether it be spilling his drink on you (I got that one), hitting on your woman right in front of your face, or stumbling into you multiple times, he was clearly out of control. Meanwhile, the rest of the team did nothing to keep him in check, and more often than not goaded him into his antics.

Needless to say, it eventually erupted into an all out melee. Several hockey players learned that bar fights aren't hockey fights, and several bar patrons learned that hockey players know how to throw a punch.

All because 30 guys couldn't keep their one drunk teammate with small dick syndrome from disrupting an entire bar full of people.

Did you happen to catch the name of the hockey team???

**Iowanian** · 02-06-2006, 11:47 AM

Crikey! They've multiplied.

jspchief · 02-06-2006, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiefs4me

Did you happen to catch the name of the hockey team???

They were the Chicago Wolves. They're an AHL team that's playing Dallas' farm team the Iowa Stars this Tuesday.

chiefs4me · 02-06-2006, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jspchief

They were the Chicago Wolves. They're an AHL team that's playing Dallas' farm team the Iowa Stars this Tuesday.

thanks

Cntrygal · 02-06-2006, 11:52 AM

Some freak came up to me and tried to strike up a conversation at the bar. He started with.... "is this a big game?" (Keep in mind those of us around the bar were watching the game and making comments ABOUT the game). I looked at him and said, "What"?. He repeated himself. I looked at him with something that expressed disbelief and contempt and said... "It's the Super Bowl." Then I turned back to the TV and ignored him. One of the guys at the bar started laughing and the freak walked away and the bartender (a friend of mine) said that he put on his coat and left.

I know, it's not a good of a story as Rain Man's - but I didn't have the tolerance for some freak that he obviously has.

**Skip Towne** · 02-06-2006, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jspchief

They were the Chicago Wolves. They're an AHL team that's playing Dallas' farm team the Iowa Stars this Tuesday.

I think I would write a nice letter to the Wolves front office concerning the behavior of their players.

StcChief · 02-06-2006, 12:06 PM

The non-Football crowd drove me away from SB parties years ago.

jspchief · 02-06-2006, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

I think I would write a nice letter to the Wolves front office concerning the behavior of their players.

I'm pretty sure the arrests and medical bills will do all the talking neccessary.

**Skip Towne** · 02-06-2006, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jspchief

I'm pretty sure the arrests and medical bills will do all the talking neccessary.

OK. I hadn't seen anything about arrests.

jspchief · 02-06-2006, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

OK. I hadn't seen anything about arrests.

It was about 50 bar patrons on 30 hockey players, with one bouncer and 3 other male staff. They had to call the police to put an end to it.

sedated · 02-06-2006, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cntrygal

Some freak came up to me and tried to strike up a conversation at the bar. He started with.... "is this a big game?" (Keep in mind those of us around the bar were watching the game and making comments ABOUT the game). I looked at him and said, "What"?. He repeated himself. I looked at him with something that expressed disbelief and contempt and said... "It's the Super Bowl." Then I turned back to the TV and ignored him. One of the guys at the bar started laughing and the freak walked away and the bartender (a friend of mine) said that he put on his coat and left.

I know, it's not a good of a story as Rain Man's - but I didn't have the tolerance for some freak that he obviously has.

maybe the guy was lonely and wanted someone to talk to about the game.

sure it was a bad opening line to use, but he's probably shy and socially awkward, and now you are on his "List of People to Kill"

02-06-2006, 01:12 AM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3348491 VARSITY	My discovery of the world's most annoying human. Okay, I'm not very popular so I never get invited anywhere. However, my wife is popular, so she gets invited lots of places, and the host usually (not always) invites me along as part of a package deal. So she/we get invited to a Super Bowl party today, and it's the same party we've gone to for about three years now. Nice host, big screen TV, below-average food, but it's free, so I'm not complaining, especially since they had some really big chocolate cookies this year. The other thing that helps is that the host lives about two miles from us, so it's an easy trip. Well, we showed up today, and the first thing I notice is that the game is on, but no one's watching it, and I find that kind of weird. Everyone is milling about like it's a regular party, and not a party where the entire future of the football world is being determined on 60 inches of television twelve feet away. I start to get some crab dip, but before I can even get any food, some chick starts talking to me and I'm trapped there for fifteen minutes without food and WITH MY BACK TO THE TV! What is wrong with people today? After a while, she begins to figure out my personality and makes an excuse to leave, and I get my food. I scout out the area, and find a nice quiet spot where I can eat my food and watch the game in peace, even though it's so loud that I can't hear anything and just have to watch it like I'm in a sports bar. I find a nice bar stool set up behind the couch, which is part of a line of bar stools that is completely vacant. I watch about 20 minutes of the game in peace, and then this dude shows up with his fiance. They're both about 50 to 60, and this guy plants himself on a bar stool next to me and just starts blathering, and it's all this weird stuff that's just flat-out annoying. Him: (Blather, blather, blather.) Who are you rooting for? Me: Seattle. Him: Oh. Yeah. You're one of those. You know what I mean? You're one of those. [Pats me on the leg] Me: I have no idea what you're talking about. Him: I don't care about the teams. I just pick one. [Extremely loud screeching noise when Seattle gets a first down. People turn and look at him. He makes the screeching noise again and pats me on the arm.] Him: I saw a TV show last night. It was about animals. Do you like animals. I like animals. [Yells] THEY'RE F**ING GREAT! [People avoid us even more than they would normally avoid me.] Me: Yeah. I have pets. Him: I don't understand you people that don't like animals. I used to have a pet store. Me: I like animals. I have pets. Him: This TV show was great. It [blather, blather, blather for longer than the TV show could have lasted.] Hey, am I bothering you? Me: How about those Seahawks? Him: [Pats me on the leg. Blather, blather, blather. Screeches at Pittsburgh first down. Startles a nearby child and the mother glares at him.] Him: [Blather, blather, blather, punctuated by a dozen or more arm punches or leg pats, and many screeches. I'm not even looking at him by this time, just nodding occasionally and watching the game. He asks twice more if he's bothering me, but doesn't take the hint and just keeps talking.] Him: Hey, it's halftime! The Stones! [Yells way, way, way too loud] HEY, TURN UP THE TV! IT'S THE STONES! THE STONES! [People glare at him, and his fiance comes over and whispers something in his ear.] Him: Hey, do you like the Rolling Stones? Me: No. Him: Ha, ha, ha. And then it happened. I swear on the soul of my ancestors that it happened. This man, whom I had never before seen in my life, and who has been annoying the marrow out of my very bones for nearly a half-hour, did it. He reached over, and... he... tousled... my.... hair. This Baby Boomer man reached over, and he did the little squiggle thing with his hand on top of my head. Who in the name of baby Michael Vick EVER does that to another person, in any circumstance, at any time, for any reason? This man wasn't drunk, he wasn't a mongoloid, and he wasn't a blind man with a hobby of phrenology. He was a man who, for some inexplicable reason that is known only to himself, thought that it would be a friendly bonding moment to reach over, place his hand on my bald head, and muss up the 24 remaining hairs that hunker atop it like the last defenders of Corregidor. What in the name of all that is holy and good was this person thinking about? If the Nobel committee ever starts up a new prize for annoying, this guy is getting my nomination vote. Unbelievable. Just to end the story, I got up and left at that point. Game over. I went and stood with another group of people, and this guy finally got up and wandered off. Last edited by Rain Man; 02-06-2006 at 01:27 AM..*
Posts: 141,255

02-06-2006, 11:31 AM	#32
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $2770351	Cocaine is a helluva drug. __________________ "Loving him is red."
Posts: 22,623

02-06-2006, 11:47 AM	#36
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4788454	Crikey! They've multiplied.
Posts: 61,520

02-06-2006, 11:52 AM	#39
Cntrygal Brrrrr..... Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA!!! :) Casino cash: $9954930	Some freak came up to me and tried to strike up a conversation at the bar. He started with.... "is this a big game?" (Keep in mind those of us around the bar were watching the game and making comments ABOUT the game). I looked at him and said, "What"?. He repeated himself. I looked at him with something that expressed disbelief and contempt and said... "It's the Super Bowl." Then I turned back to the TV and ignored him. One of the guys at the bar started laughing and the freak walked away and the bartender (a friend of mine) said that he put on his coat and left. I know, it's not a good of a story as Rain Man's - but I didn't have the tolerance for some freak that he obviously has.
Posts: 4,793

02-06-2006, 12:06 PM	#41
StcChief Playing for #1 Draft Pick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Just West of Lambs land Casino cash: $10004900	The non-Football crowd drove me away from SB parties years ago. __________________ sig test for this screwy schema
Posts: 25,901