Life Personal advice sought, v. II.

Direckshun · 11:24 PM

I started a personal advice thread that you guys, god bless ya'll, were kind enough to sincerely offer some words of advice.

The thread featured a friend of mine, well a couple friends of mine who are married to one another. The dude, whom I met them through, is cheating on the girl. My friends had for a while slowly started learning about this, and I picked up the news through the grapevine as well.

I talked to a lot of people, ChiefsPlanet included, about what to do. Do I confront my friend the cheater, calling him out privately and telling him to get his act together, or allow the situation to work itself out as if I saw/heard nothing.

Your advice, overwhelmingly, was to "stay out of it."

Well let me approach the issue from the other side.

As I said, I am friends with both of these individuals, including the chick who for all I know is living under the impression that her husband is loyal.

Here's the question: if I do not have an obligation to step in and tell him to cut his shit out, do I NOT have an obligation to alert her to the situation?

I mean it. **** my male friend -- if my woman was cheating on me and my friends ****ing knew about it, wouldn't it be the all-time dick move not to tell me? For them to continue hanging out with me, allowing me to persist believing in something that isn't happening?

Wouldn't you want your friends to tell you if they knew? Or would you prefer them to stay out of it -- even if they knew.

Thanks in advance for the round of advice.

Matter of fact, if your advice is to "stay out of it," I want you to answer this question:

Would you prefer your friends NOT to tell you if they knew your significant other was cheating on you?

**DeezNutz** · 05-03-2009, 11:16 PM

Stay out of it.

Direckshun · 05-03-2009, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Stay out of it.

So you'd prefer your friends NOT to tell you if they knew your woman was cheating.

Or man lover. NTTAWWT.

Reerun_KC · 05-03-2009, 11:21 PM

Dude, that is a tough spot to be in, almost like playing with fire... There are so many different ways you could approach that and most likely all of them wont end well. My only thought is to call your friend out privately between you two. Maybe that will convict him to make changes. IF not then just stay out of it... Talking to his wife could make you look like your trying to.... Well it just wouldnt look good if you know what I mean?

**Kyle DeLexus** · 05-03-2009, 11:22 PM

Really if you don't want to deal with what will come of it and you want to stay friends and keep things the way they are, stay out of it. Personally, I'd do something. If she is truely a friend, I wouldn't be able to not let her know.

Remember whatever you do be prepared for the consequences, be that on your conscience or on your friendship.

Direckshun · 05-03-2009, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reerun_KC

Dude, that is a tough spot to be in, almost like playing with fire... There are so many different ways you could approach that and most likely all of them wont end well. My only thought is to call your friend out privately between you two. Maybe that will convict him to make changes. IF not then just stay out of it... Talking to his wife could make you look like your trying to.... Well it just wouldnt look good if you know what I mean?

I should add for the folks that don't know, I'm engaged and we are great couple-friends (you know what I mean) with this particular couple.

**DeezNutz** · 05-03-2009, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun

So you'd prefer your friends NOT to tell you if they knew your woman was cheating.

Or man lover. NTTAWWT.

It's probably a safe assumption that you're not closer with the girl than you are with her boyfriend, or whatever the **** he is.

My boys would tell me, and I'd expect them to. That's not what you're describing here.

Find something else to worry about, and stay out of it. This is what's best for you in the long run.

If you're disgusted by what you see, time for some new friends.

**doomy3** · 05-03-2009, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun

I should add for the folks that don't know, I'm engaged and we are great couple-friends (you know what I mean) with this particular couple.

You swing with them?

**Kyle DeLexus** · 05-03-2009, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun

I should add for the folks that don't know, I'm engaged and we are great couple-friends (you know what I mean) with this particular couple.

At least one confirmed swinger on the planet

Frazod · 05-03-2009, 11:26 PM

It's clear that you want to tell her. Just get it the hell over with.

**DeezNutz** · 05-03-2009, 11:27 PM

As you slip it in her ass, slowly whisper, "This is what your man has been doing to you for weeks, so I knew you'd love it."

**Kyle DeLexus** · 05-03-2009, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doomy3

You swing with them?

beat me to it

stumppy · 05-03-2009, 11:28 PM

Doesn't matter what the problem is or who's right and who's wrong.
The only person that ends up on the losing side of a couples problems is the 3rd party.
You can take that to the bank.

Direckshun · 05-03-2009, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

Doesn't matter what the problem is or who's right and who's wrong.
The only person that ends up on the losing side of a couples problems is the 3rd party.
You can take that to the bank.

So you're saying you'd prefer your friends not to tell you if they knew she was cheating on you.

wild1 · 05-03-2009, 11:33 PM

When I found out, I'd be enormously angry with the people who were covering for my cheating spouse, and I probably wouldn't associate with them any longer.

05-03-2009, 11:15 PM
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $4423447	Personal advice sought, v. II. I started a personal advice thread that you guys, god bless ya'll, were kind enough to sincerely offer some words of advice. The thread featured a friend of mine, well a couple friends of mine who are married to one another. The dude, whom I met them through, is cheating on the girl. My friends had for a while slowly started learning about this, and I picked up the news through the grapevine as well. I talked to a lot of people, ChiefsPlanet included, about what to do. Do I confront my friend the cheater, calling him out privately and telling him to get his act together, or allow the situation to work itself out as if I saw/heard nothing. Your advice, overwhelmingly, was to "stay out of it." Well let me approach the issue from the other side. As I said, I am friends with both of these individuals, including the chick who for all I know is living under the impression that her husband is loyal. Here's the question: if I do not have an obligation to step in and tell him to cut his shit out, do I NOT have an obligation to alert her to the situation? I mean it. ** my male friend -- if my woman was cheating on me and my friends *ing knew about it, wouldn't it be the all-time dick move not to tell me? For them to continue hanging out with me, allowing me to persist believing in something that isn't happening? Wouldn't you want your friends to tell you if they knew? Or would you prefer them to stay out of it -- even if they knew. Thanks in advance for the round of advice. Matter of fact, if your advice is to "stay out of it," I want you to answer this question: Would you prefer your friends NOT to tell you if they knew your significant other was cheating on you? Last edited by Direckshun; 05-03-2009 at 11:24 PM..*
Posts: 59,254

05-03-2009, 11:21 PM	#4
Reerun_KC Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $8301160	Dude, that is a tough spot to be in, almost like playing with fire... There are so many different ways you could approach that and most likely all of them wont end well. My only thought is to call your friend out privately between you two. Maybe that will convict him to make changes. IF not then just stay out of it... Talking to his wife could make you look like your trying to.... Well it just wouldnt look good if you know what I mean?
Posts: 934

05-03-2009, 11:22 PM	#5
Kyle DeLexus Opie and Anthony XM 105 Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $10002400	Really if you don't want to deal with what will come of it and you want to stay friends and keep things the way they are, stay out of it. Personally, I'd do something. If she is truely a friend, I wouldn't be able to not let her know. Remember whatever you do be prepared for the consequences, be that on your conscience or on your friendship.
Posts: 7,910

05-03-2009, 11:26 PM	#10
Frazod WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $3175085	It's clear that you want to tell her. Just get it the hell over with.
Posts: 119,484

05-03-2009, 11:28 PM	#13
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $1538590	Doesn't matter what the problem is or who's right and who's wrong. The only person that ends up on the losing side of a couples problems is the 3rd party. You can take that to the bank. __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 21,065

05-03-2009, 11:33 PM	#15
wild1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: 31040 Casino cash: $10004900	When I found out, I'd be enormously angry with the people who were covering for my cheating spouse, and I probably wouldn't associate with them any longer.
Posts: 6,935