Differences between UK and USA

**cdcox** · 04-05-2005, 07:08 AM

A few observations from the other side of the pond:

They eat baked beans for breakfast.

A room with a private bathroom is special. They call it 'en suite'.

They drive POS cars. Evidently, Ford believes that selling Fiestas and Focus' is sufficient clout to advertize themselves as 'destination football'.

Speaking of my 'en suite' bathroom. I'm able to move from the toilet to the shower whilst keeping my finger in the sink drain the entire time. I can touch opposite corners of my shower with both elbows. Clearly women have no influence in the UK.

Well not so fast. I saw a men's soccer match: WBA vs. EVE. Can't make this stuff up.

The trarffic signals turn yellow just before they turn green. The effect is similar to the Christmas tree at the drag strip.

All sinks universally have separate spigots for hot and cold. The cold is always cold and the hot is either cold or scalding. Evidently there is never a desire for any temperature between. I've finally mastered the technique of rinsing soap from my hands. First run them under cold to get a thin film of water on them. Then run them under the hot until your skin begins to blister, then back under cold, and repeat till the soap is off.

We own them in plumbing. You often have to pump the toilets a few times to get a good flush.

You have to look the 'wrong' way to avoid getting run over whilst crossing the street.

They use the word 'whilst' a lot more than we do.

Being a bookie is a legitamate business.

They brew beer good enough to drink warm.

They are completely unaware of the health detriments of smoking.

They love the word 'way'. 'Way out' instead of exit, 'give way' instead of yield.

Coins are not chump change. Pocket change will buy a decent meal or a few rounds of beer.

Crime is so rare that they have to post signs warning people to lock their bikes 'as there has be a theif in the area.'

Pubs close at 11:00 PM.

Sports worthy of television coverage: Soccer, rugby, crickett, curling, and darts.

They are a godless people. I've seen churches converted to a community center, lighting display showroom, and a library. Still, all the shops are closed on Sunday.

Ed McCafferty would be booted out of the football actors guild in the UK. These guys will go down, rolling on the ground, holding thier face as if acid has been sprayed in thier eyes if somone brushes against them.

Bartee on the other hand could make a great defender in the UK version of football. He can't use his hands, he's great with his head, and it is a penalty if the offensive player runs by him.

And yes, the purpose of this thread is to boast that I'm here and you're not.

wilas101 · 04-05-2005, 08:07 AM

Quote:

And yes, the purpose of this thread is to boast that I'm here and you're not.

Considering the fact they put their f-a-g-s in their mouths I'm kind of glad I'm not there.

**penguinz** · 04-05-2005, 08:10 AM

Don;t forget they have a piss-poor health system.

**Rain Man** · 04-05-2005, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox

They use the word 'whilst' a lot more than we do.

Whilst I appreciate the thread, you're wrong on this one.

Where are you at in England? That's a cool jaunt.

siberian khatru · 04-05-2005, 08:32 AM

They've had some kick-ass bands in the last 40 years, though.

jarjar · 04-05-2005, 08:37 AM

I recall an interview with Director Kevin Smith once where they asked him to comment on some music video. I can't recall exactly what he said but he remarked how the video was shot in the ghetto and what the director had been trying to say.. the interviewer said "That wasn't shot in the ghetto, that's the UK, it all looks like that."

That's pretty much my take on europe. With few exceptions, most of it's urban areas are akin to an American ghetto, so I'll stay home thanks.

jynni · 04-05-2005, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Bartee on the other hand could make a great defender in the UK version of football. He can't use his hands, he's great with his head, and it is a penalty if the offensive player runs by him.

04-05-2005, 07:08 AM	Topic Starter
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2361769	Differences between UK and USA A few observations from the other side of the pond: They eat baked beans for breakfast. A room with a private bathroom is special. They call it 'en suite'. They drive POS cars. Evidently, Ford believes that selling Fiestas and Focus' is sufficient clout to advertize themselves as 'destination football'. Speaking of my 'en suite' bathroom. I'm able to move from the toilet to the shower whilst keeping my finger in the sink drain the entire time. I can touch opposite corners of my shower with both elbows. Clearly women have no influence in the UK. Well not so fast. I saw a men's soccer match: WBA vs. EVE. Can't make this stuff up. The trarffic signals turn yellow just before they turn green. The effect is similar to the Christmas tree at the drag strip. All sinks universally have separate spigots for hot and cold. The cold is always cold and the hot is either cold or scalding. Evidently there is never a desire for any temperature between. I've finally mastered the technique of rinsing soap from my hands. First run them under cold to get a thin film of water on them. Then run them under the hot until your skin begins to blister, then back under cold, and repeat till the soap is off. We own them in plumbing. You often have to pump the toilets a few times to get a good flush. You have to look the 'wrong' way to avoid getting run over whilst crossing the street. They use the word 'whilst' a lot more than we do. Being a bookie is a legitamate business. They brew beer good enough to drink warm. They are completely unaware of the health detriments of smoking. They love the word 'way'. 'Way out' instead of exit, 'give way' instead of yield. Coins are not chump change. Pocket change will buy a decent meal or a few rounds of beer. Crime is so rare that they have to post signs warning people to lock their bikes 'as there has be a theif in the area.' Pubs close at 11:00 PM. Sports worthy of television coverage: Soccer, rugby, crickett, curling, and darts. They are a godless people. I've seen churches converted to a community center, lighting display showroom, and a library. Still, all the shops are closed on Sunday. Ed McCafferty would be booted out of the football actors guild in the UK. These guys will go down, rolling on the ground, holding thier face as if acid has been sprayed in thier eyes if somone brushes against them. Bartee on the other hand could make a great defender in the UK version of football. He can't use his hands, he's great with his head, and it is a penalty if the offensive player runs by him. And yes, the purpose of this thread is to boast that I'm here and you're not.
Posts: 45,536

04-05-2005, 08:10 AM	#3
penguinz Supporter Join Date: Mar 2003 Casino cash: $3127626	Don;t forget they have a piss-poor health system. __________________
Posts: 16,314

04-05-2005, 08:32 AM	#5
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $2574950	They've had some kick-ass bands in the last 40 years, though.
Posts: 69,130

04-05-2005, 08:37 AM	#6
jarjar Starter Join Date: Dec 2004 Casino cash: $10004900	I recall an interview with Director Kevin Smith once where they asked him to comment on some music video. I can't recall exactly what he said but he remarked how the video was shot in the ghetto and what the director had been trying to say.. the interviewer said "That wasn't shot in the ghetto, that's the UK, it all looks like that." That's pretty much my take on europe. With few exceptions, most of it's urban areas are akin to an American ghetto, so I'll stay home thanks.
Posts: 240