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Old 01-04-2011, 07:55 AM  
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
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Old 01-04-2011, 11:53 AM   #136
DeezNutz DeezNutz is offline
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I see your point, but it could be a little more complex. Maybe the man wasn't committing enough for her liking, so she started to pull away thinking he clearly wasn't "in love" with her enough to want to propose. Maybe the act of proposing makes the woman realize how much she values him and wants him in her life. I dunno. I do agree that, in this situation, any further discussion of continuing the relationship or deepening it into marriage should be prefaced with, "if you truly believe it in your heart... don't just ****ing say yes because you think it's what I want to hear, because you'll end up resenting me and just divorcing me anyway".
Sure, I can absolutely agree with all of this. And it could be that she's having a panic attack about starting a doctoral program. She'll soon learn that the coursework part isn't as daunting as she might otherwise anticipate.
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Old 01-04-2011, 11:55 AM   #137
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Women don't really mean that "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you" crap. As stated elsewhere, that statement has nothing to do with "love" in reality. It has everything to do with her hidden agenda.
I'm glad you think you have this all figured out, champ.


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Old 01-04-2011, 11:57 AM
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Old 01-04-2011, 11:59 AM   #138
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:02 PM   #139
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:02 PM   #140
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Well, you have a point there. That said, 50% of marriages don't work out anyway. . .
That's because we make marriage, and divorce, too easy nowadays. People have no sense of commitment. They get married on a whim, after weeks of dating someone, without living with them, whatever. My wife and I dated for 4 years, 2 of which were spent living together, before marrying. And we know that there will be no divorce: if we tire of each other, whoever gets the shovel quicker and kills and buries the other one in the woods is the winner.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:03 PM   #141
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I love reading men's insight into the female mind.
We know you better than you know yourself.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:04 PM   #142
JD10367 JD10367 is offline
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I love reading men's insight into the female mind.
If a man on this board said, "I love reading women's insight into the male mind", you'd probably call him an idiotic misogynistic neanderthal. Just saying.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:04 PM   #143
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I love reading men's insight into the female mind.
It's like looking into the abyss.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:04 PM   #144
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Boys, it really isn't that hard. Most females want you to be just like her best friend, with a penis.
Unless her best friend buys a strap-on. In which case, you're probably not needed... but please get some videos for us.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:05 PM   #145
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If a man on this board said, "I love reading women's insight into the male mind", you'd probably call him an idiotic misogynistic neanderthal. Just saying.
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I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 109,358
Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.Donger is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:07 PM
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:19 PM   #146
Cntrygal Cntrygal is offline
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Sounds like this was initiated by you when you told her you felt neglected, to a degree (no pun intended), because of the time she was spending getting her Phd. Has she ever told you the same in regards to your time you have dedicated to the Hockey leagues? Anyway, you put her in a defensive mode and its possible she might have been bothered by that and said some irrational things. Just from what you have said here, and considering that this was a lady you were going to ask to marry you, I would give it some time apart to see exactly how much the two of you mean to each other.
IMO... worth repeating.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:22 PM
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:24 PM   #147
luv luv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
You've had a four year relationship and a three year relationship? How young are you? Goodness.

Anyway, if she needs space to work on her education, then give it to her. I don't see why it has to be a "fight for her or forget her" type of thing. Check with her from time to time to see how she's doing. Put forth the effort to show her that you still care about her, but give her the space she needs. When she's done, see where things are at. Who knows? Maybe giving her space will give you time to step back and re-evaluate where you're at compared to where you want to be.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:25 PM   #148
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Tough call dude. going for phd isn't exactly like she was out ****ing somebody behind your back. and ftr, long term relationships are never the same as they were in that first 2 month glowfest of almost every great relationship. good luck with what ever decision you make on this.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:30 PM   #149
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:31 PM   #150
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Seriously, do you really believe that YOUR wife/gf DOESN'T have a "hidden agenda?" Hell, they ALL do!
Yes, I do believe that. There is no reason for anything to be hidden. If there are things being hidden, then there isn't true intimacy and you're wasting your time.
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