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Old 01-04-2011, 07:55 AM  
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:34 AM   #91
ClevelandBronco ClevelandBronco is offline
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
I was on the verge of getting engaged when I was in grad school. We broke up. Probably a good thing because I'm sure I'd be paying alimony now.
That's another thing. 50% of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, so you could be dodging an alimony bullet, unless her Ph.D. is going to provide a better salary than club hockey, in which case she could end up owing you.

But really, what are the odds of her Ph.D. being worth anything at all in this economy? Tough call.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:39 AM   #92
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Originally Posted by Comanche View Post
Don't save your QB for the playoffs if you haven't clinched a spot in the playoffs. If you let this slip away from you, then you won't get the perfect opportunity on vaca, after your degree, putting the ring in a glass of wine & etc. Get'r done dude.
Don't listen to Oprah here.


If she doesn't want you now, why on earth would you beg and plead and use your diamond "quarterback" as suggested by the guy who suggested you ignore platitudes.

Let her go....Go be happy, if she calls, you're doing fine. She'll either realize she made a mistake or she'll continue F'ing Beaker.


Personally, I don't think anyone is truly ready to be a good husband until they've gone through one of these situations. You'll be a man of better steel for going through some fire.

The decade following my version of your situation, I did a thousand things I'd never have done had I ended up with that miserable, unhappy fun hater. Best thing she ever did for my life was push me back out into the world. 5 years from now, you'll probably be with a better woman, who is happier, and a better match. Someday, you'll have beautiful kids with a woman you've probably never met yet, that you wouldn't have if you stay in this situation.

Move on. Go be happy.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:41 AM   #93
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Originally Posted by TinyEvel View Post
Sorry to hear that dude, I went through a pretty tough breakup in college, it was my first adult relationship, the first woman who could have been "the one" and when we broke up all I concentrated on was trying to get her back. Looking back was that completely the worst thing I could have done. Not because we really should have stayed together, but because I moped on what I didn't have instead of what I did and who I was. It's easy to look back with 20/20 vision, but at the time I was not thinking straight.

You've gone through a significant part of your life with her, so you're going to feel a loss. But playing a mind game right now is not going to get you anywhere - that advice is for people trying to defensively protect their egos after a burn.

Nobody can dispense a prescription for this based on three paragraphs. They don't know the three years you've had with her, what your personalities and needs are. How you've grown together and apart since then. I do think that through college people grow a lot and often grow differently. That's just reality. I would just offer the general tips to be honest, with her and with yourself. And try to surround yourself with as many close friends and supporters as you can. If she was your best friend (or the person you shared all your daily news with) you should keep yourself communicating with other close people to mitigate that loss of personal bond. and try not to make everything about her and what you no longer have. Also, each day it will get easier. It might only get a fraction of a percent easier each day but it does get easier.

Good luck

Oh yeah, and don't be this guy...

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...nise-show/2527
This. Don't listen to those saying "bro, you gotta ignore her and then she will coming crawling back". Maybe that works on 90210, but this is real life. Show her your doing well by accually doing well. Focus on yourself completly and give her some time (not too much) and then if you feel the same way, talk to her.

I had a simular situation. Dated a girl in college. She was super busy (as was I) and I felt neglected. That sucks because as a man you think you should not feel that way. When you are both busy as hell and YOU are willing to make time to see her and she does not do the same, that is a shitty feeling.

I got rid of her and it worked well for me, but if she is your best friend like you say she is, its not going to be as easy for you.

Good luck man.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:41 AM   #94
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Originally Posted by Comanche View Post
Don't save your QB for the playoffs if you haven't clinched a spot in the playoffs. If you let this slip away from you, then you won't get the perfect opportunity on vaca, after your degree, putting the ring in a glass of wine & etc. Get'r done dude.
No woman is this important.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:46 AM   #95
R8RFAN R8RFAN is offline
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Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
She works for it because it's a PhD program, but when she went to NYU I helped her sometimes with payments & books.
If it were me, I would rather know now than 5 years and 3 kids into a marriage, good luck to you either way.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:47 AM   #96
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Mrs Favre is probably looking for some payback.


Take spring break in Louisiana and go give her lady garden a tickle.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:47 AM   #97
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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I definitely can tell who are the older, wiser posters here after this thread. I appreciate the love everyone. I really do. a fresh take on it then from what my friends have been telling me
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:48 AM   #98
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
Mrs Favre is probably looking for some payback.


Take spring break in Louisiana and go give her lady garden a tickle.
think she likes amateur hockey players?
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:48 AM   #99
FAX FAX is offline
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Originally Posted by Brock View Post
No woman is this important.
I beg to differ.

The real problem is, too many are. I don't think human males were intended for monogamy. I think the more beautiful, nubile, green-eyed, blonds around, the better. And, if that takes jewels, so be it.

Instead, we're forced to settle down with one girl and deal with all the ups and downs and ups and downs of one person instead of simply choosing the most positive and upbeat chick in the coop that particular day. Makes no sense and causes untold gobs of relational friction.

I occasionally worry about the future of our culture.

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Old 01-04-2011, 10:48 AM   #100
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Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
I think the part that hurts the most for me is the best friend part. The routine of talking day & night, that gets to me.
Listen Pushead (always wanted to say that),

Sounds like a sucky situation that's painful and I'm sorry about that.

From the above quote it sounds like you were essentially already married. So it's not really much different than a divorce.

One of your other quotes talks about easily choosing hockey over her if it came down to it. That sounds like a guy who doesn't want to be married to a real person.

So, you were a married guy who didn't want to be married.

At least you got out before you spent 6K on a ring. Sucks either way. Sorry man.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:48 AM
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:49 AM   #101
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Originally Posted by Pushead2 View Post
think she likes amateur hockey players?
Don't know. text her a photo of your pickle in Hockey Skates.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:50 AM   #102
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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The only thing you've proven Tonto is that you're either an ice dancer or a chic.

Go take the lint roller to your beret before you're looking unkept in your art history class.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Comanche View Post
Get it right pal. I said, "ignore the platitudes." I'll give you time to look up the word. . .waiting. . .

Since my post, several have repeated elements of it.

What is it to you anyway? Where is your brilliant commentary?
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:51 AM   #103
Pushead2 Pushead2 is offline
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Originally Posted by Groves View Post
Listen Pushead (always wanted to say that),

Sounds like a sucky situation that's painful and I'm sorry about that.

From the above quote it sounds like you were essentially already married. So it's not really much different than a divorce.

One of your other quotes talks about easily choosing hockey over her if it came down to it. That sounds like a guy who doesn't want to be married to a real person.

So, you were a married guy who didn't want to be married.

At least you got out before you spent 6K on a ring. Sucks either way. Sorry man.
I only meant it as I understand how she's putting her career path first. She's becoming a professional scholar in essence. I would never want her to choose. Just me saying I understand how it consumes.
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:51 AM   #104
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Originally Posted by Comanche View Post
Get it right pal. I said, "ignore the platitudes." I'll give you time to look up the word. . .waiting. . .

Since my post, several have repeated elements of it.

What is it to you anyway? Where is your brilliant commentary?
Simmah!!

But, to answer your question, my brilliant commentary was, unfortunately, lost in the wash.

I ran the load and all that came out was some shrunken commentary and a single, solitary sock. Probably should have used Woolite.

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Old 01-04-2011, 10:52 AM   #105
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I like that analogy, I hope that is the case. She's everything a guy could want in a female by my means.
If he does AtM then she's a gem.
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