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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Pasta Giant Meatball 25 41.67%
cabletech94 35 58.33%
Voters: 60. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-09-2018, 10:17 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 17 - Pasta Giant Meatball versus cabletech94

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - Inside a giant hamster ball that is rolling down a 1 degree slope
Starting Distance - 4 feet

Pasta Giant Meatball

Main Weapon - Pilgrim-style blunderbuss with supplies for three shots (first shot is loaded)
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 3 Minutes
Special Factors - A drunk average-sized college guy will help you, though he's unarmed and is having trouble standing.

cabletech94

Main Weapon - Sling shot with 20 golf ball-size stones
Backup Weapon - Shiv fashioned from a toothbrush and a wooden chair leg

Prep Time - 43 seconds
Special Factors - None
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:25 AM   #2
The Pest The Pest is offline
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Should be a pretty quick match. PGM can shove the drunk college guy into cabletech and then shoot him in the head with the blunderbuss that's already loaded.
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:31 AM   #3
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestilence View Post
Should be a pretty quick match. PGM can shove the drunk college guy into cabletech and then shoot him in the head with the blunderbuss that's already loaded.
If he somehow misses though, he's toast.
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:31 AM   #4
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestilence View Post
Should be a pretty quick match. PGM can shove the drunk college guy into cabletech and then shoot him in the head with the blunderbuss that's already loaded.
If he somehow misses though, he's toast.
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:32 AM   #5
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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Going Cabletech.

That rolling hamster ball is going to be like trying to fight in a dryer once their weight starts shifting and getting it moving. The first thing Cabletech will do is try and grab the blunderbuss so PGM can't shoot it. The drunk guy will be a floor obstacle, neither contestant will be able to stand upright.

The shiv is the best weapon here, because unlike the gun, it can be used over and over and over again while they're being turned around and upside down.
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:00 AM   #6
TLO TLO is offline
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What's the average reload time on a blunderbuss?

Also, I can't imagine it's all that accurate.

This is a bit of a thinker.
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:04 AM   #7
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This is a tough one. Pasta gets an initial shot at very short range, but I suspect that cabletech can knock away the gun barrel. He's at a disadvantage because he's going to have a drunk frat guy pawing at him, but I agree with the assertion that the shiv then becomes the best individual weapon.

However, I then remembered that the blunderbuss isn't just a shooting weapon, but it's a pretty good club. With the help of the drunk college guy, I think Pasta ends up doing some sort of mafia bludgeoning with the gun butt to take the win.
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:06 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TLO View Post
What's the average reload time on a blunderbuss?

Also, I can't imagine it's all that accurate.

This is a bit of a thinker.
I would assume that we're talking at least a minute under normal conditions, but it would be much harder inside the rolling ball.
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:11 AM   #9
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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So the shiv is a sharpened toothbrush?

I mean stabby is stabby and in this case stabby wins.
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Old 07-09-2018, 11:32 AM   #10
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Gotta go shiv here
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:20 PM   #11
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:25 PM   #12
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Can I have weight and dimensions on the hamster wheel? I'd like to try to determine how fast it will roll and how well they will be able to affect its movement by shifting their weight.
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:34 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicHef View Post
Can I have weight and dimensions on the hamster wheel? I'd like to try to determine how fast it will roll and how well they will be able to affect its movement by shifting their weight.
I would presume that it looks like this, but that it's a 9 foot diameter or thereabouts.

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Old 07-09-2018, 12:41 PM   #14
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pasta's gonna miss and blow a hole in that hamster ball right away. It's gonna deflate and they'll be trapped in a deflating plastic prison where shanks rule the day. cable stabs him and the drunk guy to death and then cuts his way out.
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:43 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
pasta's gonna miss and blow a hole in that hamster ball right away. It's gonna deflate and they'll be trapped in a deflating plastic prison where shanks rule the day. cable stabs him and the drunk guy to death and then cuts his way out.
I like this answer
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:44 PM   #16
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Peek gets distracted shitposting in the KnowMo thread while Tech goes Gerard Butler on his neck in Law Abiding Citizen with the shiv
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