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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Detoxing 31 50.00%
canoworms 31 50.00%
Voters: 62. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-10-2018, 08:21 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 18 - Detoxing versus canoworms

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - A coastal beach
Starting Distance - 81 feet

Detoxing

Main Weapon - Two fist-sized rocks, one of which has a slightly sharp edge
Backup Weapon - 20 sharp small ninja stars

Prep Time - 14 seconds
Special Factors - None

canoworms

Main Weapon - The thigh bone of a large ape
Backup Weapon - BB gun with 50 BBs, each of which is coated with enough poison to slow a person down by 4 percentage points

Prep Time - 9 Minutes
Special Factors - You're wearing an eye patch on your right eye, which you can't remove
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:38 PM   #61
Beef Supreme Beef Supreme is offline
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A rock in each hand and he can still throw ninja stars with pinpoint accuracy.
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:39 PM   #62
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beef Supreme View Post
A rock in each hand and he can still throw ninja stars with pinpoint accuracy.
I have big hands. And you know what they say about guys with big hands....

...they're excellent ninja star throwers.
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:39 PM   #63
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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I am curious . Does the BB need to draw blood for the poison to take effect?
My decision was based on it does
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:44 PM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
And what the hell is a BB gun going to do anyway? All your gun will do, if you manage to land a shot, is reduce my movement speed by 4%. Which would be offset by my adrenaline from the home field advantage.
As you slog through the water towards me I'll hit you several times. You'll be down to 80% or so. I'll sprint out of the water to open a new gap. Five more! I can easily dodge two rocks. I one does hit, it won't be lethal.
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:45 PM   #65
ChiliConCarnage ChiliConCarnage is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
And what the hell is a BB gun going to do anyway? All your gun will do, if you manage to land a shot, is reduce my movement speed by 4%. Which would be offset by my adrenaline from the home field advantage.
Rain Man confirmed it slows your mind and ability to swing/throw things.

If canoworms lands a few shots you're going to be Corky from life goes on up against Floyd Mayweather
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:47 PM   #66
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canoworms View Post
As you slog through the water towards me I'll hit you several times. You'll be down to 80% or so. I'll sprint out of the water to open a new gap. Five more! I can easily dodge two rocks. I one does hit, it won't be lethal.
My Ninja Stars are more lethal than your pellets. If you want to try and play the range game you're going to lose your only good eye.
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:48 PM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graystoke View Post
I am curious . Does the BB need to draw blood for the poison to take effect?
My decision was based on it does
It is a contact poison.
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:49 PM   #68
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QUIT YOUR HUGGING AND GET TO KILLING EACH OTHER
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Old 07-10-2018, 03:55 PM   #69
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ptlyon View Post
QUIT YOUR HUGGING AND GET TO KILLING EACH OTHER
Canoworms is already dead. That's his mom posting on his account to make people think he's alive.

You know...like 2pac.
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:03 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
Canoworms is already dead. That's his mom posting on his account to make people think he's alive.

You know...like 2pac.
Weak sauce. Apparently the poison already has him down to 60% mentality. It won't be long now. HERE COMES THE APE BONE, BITCH!!!
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:06 PM   #71
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canoworms View Post
Weak sauce. Apparently the poison already has him down to 60% mentality. It won't be long now. HERE COMES THE APE BONE, BITCH!!!
I know you think you can win this. You think if you keep trying that you will.

But that's wrong.

My fierce fists of stone will pop your lid, canoworms.
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Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:08 PM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
I know you think you can win this. You think if you keep trying that you will.

But that's wrong.

My fierce fists of stone will pop your lid, canoworms.
56% mentality. Click pop. Click pop.
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:14 PM   #73
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canoworms View Post
56% mentality. Click pop. Click pop.
See this dude knocked out in the sand? That's you bro.

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Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.Detoxing is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:14 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
Dudes...81 ft is only 27 yards. I run a 5 second 40. 2.5 seconds and i'm already on top of this foo' merging his skull with the sand. He would have time to get one shot off before im on him like a spider monkey.
What 40 time you clocking in soft sand?
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Old 07-10-2018, 04:15 PM   #75
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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And these are the lovely ladies that will be taking me to get soft serve after i turn your skull into sand shell fragments.



Look, it even looks like they're saying, "Detox you're so ****ing amazing! Lets get soft serve from DQ!"
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