Food and Drink Grandma Assaults Grandson Over Bacon Gluttony

**gblowfish** · 07-01-2011, 08:39 AM

We should have a Thread Prefix just for BACON. It's that important:

http://tinyurl.com/622pr7c

Grandma Assaults Grandson With Garden Hose For Eating Too Much Bacon

Now before you get too upset, the 64-year-old grandmother in question used the garden hose to spray her 9-year-old grandson in the face, and not, well, wherever your mind just went with that headline. But she did it at full blast! And also beat his legs. And all he did was eat a generous portion of delicious, crispy bacon.

From The Smoking Gun:

"Marilee Ann Kolynych was busted Tuesday evening on endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges. Her grandson, 9, was not injured during the attack.

According to [police], the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych. A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and 'sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face.' The child told cops that 'the nozzle setting was on full blast.'"

The boy eventually broke free, and ran to the safety of a neighbor's house to call his mom. Grammy Marilee was apparently still chasing him when his mom came to the rescue. Why bacon was the trigger for her complete, psychotic meltdown isn't entirely clear.

AndChiefs · 07-01-2011, 08:41 AM

Finally an abuse case that makes sense.

blaise · 07-01-2011, 08:41 AM

I hope she fries for this.

seclark · 07-01-2011, 08:43 AM

good for her.
i was raised knowing not to **** w/grandmas bacon.
sec

WV · 07-01-2011, 08:46 AM

mmmmm..........Bacon!

**Predarat** · 07-01-2011, 08:50 AM

That is nothing compared to what my granny did to me when I got caught sneaking an extra piece of delicious Peach Pie. I got whacked with one of these things. It was made or iron and hurt like hell.

**Gonzo** · 07-01-2011, 09:03 AM

He was achin' for some bacon I guess.
Posted via Mobile Device

boogblaster · 07-01-2011, 09:03 AM

bacon bacon bacon
granny will take ya to the grass
bacon bacon bacon
granny will beat ya ass

Sofa King · 07-01-2011, 09:11 AM

What a pig.

**Rausch** · 07-01-2011, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gblowfish

According to [police], the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych. A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and 'sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face.' The child told cops that 'the nozzle setting was on full blast.'"

Great Granny was not much for hoarding or stealing.

I never got a garden hose to my face but I did get my ass kicked plenty and walked around the block with a dog collar and leash because "if you're just going to run off and act like a dog we'll treat you like a dog."

07-01-2011, 09:50 AM

The child wasn't injured but the book is being thrown at grandma. Yeah. Nice. Everybody knows that you can't take too much of the bacon. Trumped up crap. They should have tased grandma and called it a day.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 07-01-2011, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

The child wasn't injured but the book is being thrown at grandma. Yeah. Nice. Everybody knows that you can't take too much of the bacon. Trumped up crap. They should have tased grandma and called it a day.

If Grandma was a cop, there'd be no problem.

07-01-2011, 08:39 AM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17686178 VARSITY	Grandma Assaults Grandson Over Bacon Gluttony We should have a Thread Prefix just for BACON. It's that important: http://tinyurl.com/622pr7c Grandma Assaults Grandson With Garden Hose For Eating Too Much Bacon Now before you get too upset, the 64-year-old grandmother in question used the garden hose to spray her 9-year-old grandson in the face, and not, well, wherever your mind just went with that headline. But she did it at full blast! And also beat his legs. And all he did was eat a generous portion of delicious, crispy bacon. From The Smoking Gun: "Marilee Ann Kolynych was busted Tuesday evening on endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges. Her grandson, 9, was not injured during the attack. According to [police], the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych. A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and 'sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face.' The child told cops that 'the nozzle setting was on full blast.'" The boy eventually broke free, and ran to the safety of a neighbor's house to call his mom. Grammy Marilee was apparently still chasing him when his mom came to the rescue. Why bacon was the trigger for her complete, psychotic meltdown isn't entirely clear.
Posts: 40,830

07-01-2011, 08:41 AM	#2
AndChiefs Bazinga! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Houston, TX Casino cash: $1681820	Finally an abuse case that makes sense.
Posts: 5,476

07-01-2011, 08:41 AM	#3
blaise In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Plano, TX Casino cash: $9999900	I hope she fries for this.
Posts: 22,188

07-01-2011, 08:43 AM	#4
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $1719900	good for her. i was raised knowing not to **** w/grandmas bacon. sec __________________ "Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits." -rj "If every Planeteer who was disliked by another Planeteer stopped being a Planeteer we wouldn't have any Planeteers." -rj
Posts: 13,399

07-01-2011, 08:46 AM	#5
WV Veteran Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: In the Holler Casino cash: $10004950	mmmmm..........Bacon!
Posts: 4,983

07-01-2011, 08:50 AM	#6
Predarat Run Chiefs fans, run!! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Nashville, TN Casino cash: $9973863	That is nothing compared to what my granny did to me when I got caught sneaking an extra piece of delicious Peach Pie. I got whacked with one of these things. It was made or iron and hurt like hell.
Posts: 10,776

07-01-2011, 09:03 AM	#7
Gonzo Stuff & Things Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Yukon Casino cash: $10126924	He was achin' for some bacon I guess. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 21,498

07-01-2011, 09:03 AM	#8
boogblaster MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Verdigris Valley Campsite Casino cash: $10004900	bacon bacon bacon granny will take ya to the grass bacon bacon bacon granny will beat ya ass __________________ WR or S please
Posts: 10,305

07-01-2011, 09:11 AM	#9
Sofa King Hello Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Dakota Casino cash: $1102096 VARSITY	What a pig.
Posts: 23,208

07-01-2011, 09:50 AM	#11
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	The child wasn't injured but the book is being thrown at grandma. Yeah. Nice. Everybody knows that you can't take too much of the bacon. Trumped up crap. They should have tased grandma and called it a day.
Posts: n/a