Life GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 07:55 AM

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?

Over-Head · 01-04-2011, 07:56 AM

first in with "Antifreeze"

Give it some time.
Ya know what they say "If you love it let it go,,if it comes back...."

suds79 · 01-04-2011, 08:00 AM

Hard to judge things right at this point. Probably thinking a lot of things given it was just yesterday.

My wife & I when we were dating broke up for a short time that feel like it was over for good. Finally wising up, I settled down and made the changes that needed to be made as we were at the time long distance. Begged her to give me another chance. Best move I ever made.

Unfortunately, sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

Good luck.

HMc · 01-04-2011, 08:00 AM

cease contact initiation. If she texts you, don't write back for some hours. DONT apologise for the delay. If she calls, don't answer, and text back some hours later.

You have to be in demand, not supply.

Rukdafaidas · 01-04-2011, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Over-Head

first in with "Antifreeze"

Give it some time.
Ya know what they say "If you love it let it go,,if it comes back...."

This.
You both need some time away. You'll get back together if it's meant to be.l

HMc · 01-04-2011, 08:02 AM

re: above poster - things are fundamentally different when you're married.

Do not, i repeat DO NOT, beg her to let you back. Act like you're peachy without her and she'll be begging you to take her back before you know it.

FAX · 01-04-2011, 08:03 AM

Classic situation, Mr. Pushead2.

It's time for you to choose between your one true love and serial killing.

Seriously, it sounds like she feels pressured and backed away. Classic stuff. Here's what you do ... focus on yourself. Do all the right things you need to do ... for you. Do not cling ... this is very important ... clinging is bad. Real bad. Just focus on your life and what you can do to improve and take care of yourself. After awhile, things will work out. It won't take long. Girls fall in love with you for a reason ... give them a better reason.

FAX

Imon Yourside · 01-04-2011, 08:05 AM

Time to find someone new, i never bought into that i love you but i'm not in love with you. Sorry man but it's for the best you find another.

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 08:09 AM

yeah I feel the working on myself part, I'm almost done with my college degree & I play in 3 hockey leagues including one that travels across the US & Canada on tournaments. So I am busy myself. I think the part that hurts the most for me is the best friend part. The routine of talking day & night, that gets to me. I'm on the road for a tournament in January, my alternate captain of my team is a single dude in his late 30s. So when I spoke to him last night he was saying that would be a good test for both y'all. Will she notice? Will she care you're away?

KC Jones · 01-04-2011, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pushead2

fight for the girl I love / my best friend.

As many have already said, the only way you will be successful in this is to focus on yourself and prepare to move on. If you pursue her, it's over. If you try to move on, she'll likely pursue you and you have successfully 'fought' for her.

FAX · 01-04-2011, 08:09 AM

I always think of relationships as having tension ... kind of like two people being connected by a rubber band like Kate Bush talks about.

When there's no tension, there's no fun ... or excitement. Thing is, if you want the girl to snap back closer to you, you have to lean back and create more tension. When you lean back enough, eventually she comes flying forward. Funny how that works.

FAX

Hammock Parties · 01-04-2011, 08:10 AM

This means the Chiefs will win this weekend.

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 08:10 AM

another thing is she has NO family here in NYC & very little friends....She's from Oklahoma but came here to go to NYU.

So the fact that she's willing to accept being VERY lonely is making me think it's over but at the same time thinking once she sees how lonely she will be she'll think twice.

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Jones

As many have already said, the only way you will be successful in this is to focus on yourself and prepare to move on. If you pursue her, it's over. If you try to move on, she'll likely pursue you and you have successfully 'fought' for her.

Definitely, without a doubt 100% I will be focusing on myself. I'm not to wallow in self pity. I will move on & take care of things for myself.

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClayWhit

This means the Chiefs will win this weekend.

I'll buy that for a $1

01-04-2011, 07:55 AM
Pushead2 **** off Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: New York Casino cash: $7401882	GF of 3 years left me yesterday.... She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore..... I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window. I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
Posts: 5,196

01-04-2011, 07:56 AM	#2
Over-Head Boom, Boom , Crash Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In my shed Casino cash: $9995760	first in with "Antifreeze" Give it some time. Ya know what they say "If you love it let it go,,if it comes back...." __________________ ...Illegitimus non Carborundum est...
Posts: 12,040

01-04-2011, 08:00 AM	#3
suds79 MVP Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10005036	Hard to judge things right at this point. Probably thinking a lot of things given it was just yesterday. My wife & I when we were dating broke up for a short time that feel like it was over for good. Finally wising up, I settled down and made the changes that needed to be made as we were at the time long distance. Begged her to give me another chance. Best move I ever made. Unfortunately, sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone. Good luck.
Posts: 5,747

01-04-2011, 08:00 AM	#4
HMc from the very deep south. Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia. Casino cash: $9944900	cease contact initiation. If she texts you, don't write back for some hours. DONT apologise for the delay. If she calls, don't answer, and text back some hours later. You have to be in demand, not supply.
Posts: 2,792	1 0

01-04-2011, 08:02 AM	#6
HMc from the very deep south. Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia. Casino cash: $9944900	re: above poster - things are fundamentally different when you're married. Do not, i repeat DO NOT, beg her to let you back. Act like you're peachy without her and she'll be begging you to take her back before you know it.
Posts: 2,792

01-04-2011, 08:03 AM	#7
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	Classic situation, Mr. Pushead2. It's time for you to choose between your one true love and serial killing. Seriously, it sounds like she feels pressured and backed away. Classic stuff. Here's what you do ... focus on yourself. Do all the right things you need to do ... for you. Do not cling ... this is very important ... clinging is bad. Real bad. Just focus on your life and what you can do to improve and take care of yourself. After awhile, things will work out. It won't take long. Girls fall in love with you for a reason ... give them a better reason. FAX
Posts: 44,492

01-04-2011, 08:05 AM	#8
Imon Yourside WhatUneed2Hear Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: AllSoulsMatter Casino cash: $2653181	Time to find someone new, i never bought into that i love you but i'm not in love with you. Sorry man but it's for the best you find another. __________________ "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour" Peter 5:8 "Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay" Isaiah 29:16 "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20
Posts: 44,169

01-04-2011, 08:09 AM	#9
Pushead2 **** off Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: New York Casino cash: $7401882	yeah I feel the working on myself part, I'm almost done with my college degree & I play in 3 hockey leagues including one that travels across the US & Canada on tournaments. So I am busy myself. I think the part that hurts the most for me is the best friend part. The routine of talking day & night, that gets to me. I'm on the road for a tournament in January, my alternate captain of my team is a single dude in his late 30s. So when I spoke to him last night he was saying that would be a good test for both y'all. Will she notice? Will she care you're away? __________________ "**** up once, lose two teeth....”
Posts: 5,196

01-04-2011, 08:10 AM	#12
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4740478	This means the Chiefs will win this weekend. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 277,705