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Old 04-20-2007, 10:33 PM  
FAX FAX is offline
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I Have A Box Of Cheerios
... clearly stating that if I eat two bowls every day, my cholesterol will be reduced by an average of 4 percent in 6 weeks.

The thing is, I don't have high cholesterol. So, if I eat these Cheerios, will my cholesterol get too low? Can a person live with super low, almost non-existent cholesterol? Does miniscule, infinitesimal, nonextant cholesterol kill you?

I guess what I'm asking is, are Cheerios deadly?

FAX

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Old 04-20-2007, 10:35 PM   #2
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:35 PM   #3
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I would say no.. as there is bad and good cholesterol but i think cheerios reduce the Bad cholesterol.

So reducing bad things IS good

im not a Doctor i just play one on the radio
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:38 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAG
I would say no.. as there is bad and good cholesterol but i think cheerios reduce the Bad cholesterol.

So reducing bad things IS good

im not a Doctor i just play one on the radio
Well, that's good news. But they look sort of deadly, Mr. SLAG.

Like hundreds of little eyes staring at me with a blank, milky-white gaze from the bowl. I'm not sure I trust Cheerios.

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Old 04-20-2007, 10:39 PM   #5
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Keep dumping sugar on them until you can scrape it off the bottom of your cereal bowl is what I always say.
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:41 PM   #6
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They're spelling "Oooooo" now.

I think that's a warning.

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Old 04-20-2007, 10:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX
They're spelling "Oooooo" now.

I think that's a warning.

FAX
nappy shaped o's?

i'll tell you what's creepy, is that the o's are cheeri...what's up with that?
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:53 PM   #8
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Ever notice how, when Cheerios float in a bowl, they tend to form a chain very similar to the ones Satan uses when he lashes you to a stake in hell so the everlasting, eternal fires can incinerate the cursed, blackened flesh from your bones as you scream uselessly at the abysmal hideousness that used to be your body fall in grotesque lumps like a smoldering, noxious horror at your feet?

Anybody ever notice that?

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Old 04-20-2007, 10:55 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX
Ever notice how, when Cheerios float in a bowl, they tend to form a chain very similar to the ones Satan uses when he lashes you to a stake in hell so the everlasting, eternal fires can incinerate the cursed, blackened flesh from your bones as you scream uselessly at the abysmal hideousness that used to be your body fall in grotesque lumps like a smoldering, noxious horror at your feet?

Anybody ever notice that?

FAX

cereal killer..
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Old 04-20-2007, 11:08 PM   #10
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I once assisted my siblings in a diabolical scheme of throwing cheerios in the neighbor's swimming pool. We sat in a sawed-off tree in our backyard and executed it flawlessly. Until the cheerios clogged their filter. Then we got in trouble. Fortunately my oldest sister took the brunt of the blame.
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Old 04-20-2007, 11:12 PM   #11
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Something else I noticed. When you swirl your spoon around the bowl real fast, Cheerios seem to form a sort of vortex or whirlpool of tiny, unnameable, decapitated heads mocking you in abhorrent and repugnant silence as if they are the final, objective embodiment of your mortal sins come to visit at last with loathsome, sinister and vile intent.

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Old 04-20-2007, 11:15 PM   #12
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I think I should have gotten Lucky Charms.

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Old 04-20-2007, 11:18 PM   #13
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Old 04-20-2007, 11:20 PM   #14
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I haven't eaten a bowl of cereal for at least 25 years. Milk grosses me out.
How do you break your fast?
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Old 04-20-2007, 11:28 PM   #15
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Another thing that's kind of interesting is that when you hold the bowl real close to your ear, you can hear a distant, faint crackling like the sound of brittle bones breaking as if some formless, accursed, and hellish demon were devouring the bodies of small children in an orgy of fearsome lust while their innocent blood runs in streams of sticky gore from his relentless, esurient, and greedy maw.

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