The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

[Rain Man]

I often see or hear people saying or doing things that I find intriguing, but it's not quite worth making a thread about. I figure that other people might have the same experiences. Therefore, I hope that this thread can become a clearinghouse for those little observations that might not otherwise make the cut.

My first two would be:

1. I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked. In the waiting room, a family came in and sat next to me: a mother, a girl of about 13 or 14, and two young boys. The mother is talking on the phone and scolding the boys who are out of control, and then the teenage girl came over to her mother. She's got both hands up near her face, and asks the mother, "What is this?" My initial thinking was that it was something in her eye since we were, after all, in an optometrist's office. Then the girl says, "I thought it was a pimple, but I'm trying to pop it and nothing's coming out."

Where is your shame, young girl? Where is your shame?


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

Please feel free to post your own minor observations here in the future.

[Sully]

Just got back from my honeymoon on Hawaii.
While doing the Polynesian Cultural Center thing, which is basically a "tour" of the cultures of the Polynesian islands, our tour guide explained how the Fijians would sacrifice humans to the Gods.

Old guy in our group went ahead and asked if that was still a common practice.

guhhhhh.....

[cdcox]

Two minor episodes involving the female of the species.

#1. There is a woman sitting in her mini-van listening to Billie Holliday type jazz. It must be pretty loud as she has her windows up and my window is not open, yet I can still hear it clearly. As far as I could tell, she wasn't smoking cigarettes or tossing back gin.

2. I stop at the same convenience store every morning for coffee. One of the clerks does not speak, instead she softly squeeks. I swear that the only intelligible words I've heard from her are 'thank you". A typical encounter:

Her: meee beeek peee (barely audible)

Me: Hi

Her: mity oorr eeent (sixty-four cents)

Me: (hand her the money)

Her: eeerty eeex (thirty six)

Me: Thank you.

Her: Thank you.

I think she might have a speech impediment, but she has honestly never spoken loudly enough for me to tell for sure.

[Demonpenz]

I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.

[J Diddy]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.

the stuff with the eight graders was great.........
that's real funny

[Iowanian]

You should have gone home and put on your Greg brady "johnny Bravo" outfit and upon your return, done a live, accoustic "chiefsplanet" song.

This time though, I think you should have done a song to that clever Iowanian's poop thread Lyrics.

[Rain Man]

I went to a charity art auction this weekend, and apparently a Chiefsplanet member was in charge of signage.

[chagrin]

I just can't get over the Hispanics of America making fun of the Asians of america and still Racism in this country is most popularly defined as "white people being mean to black people"

[KCChiefsMan]

I was at a stoplight near my house the other day and this dude in a jeep cheroke with a big dent in the rear starting squeeling his rear tires as he waits to take a right turn, he does it again. Then he proceeds to take the right but goes 4 lanes into oncoming traffic (4 lane road with a passing lane in the middle) and as he turns into dillons he does some doughnut and then does the same exact thing again out of dillons...taking a right...going 3 lanes too far into oncoming traffic.....it should be much more difficult to get a drivers license these days

[Adept Havelock]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

I went to kmart on friday. A larger lady comes up to me and goes "hey we are having a raffle for free jewlrey" I am thinking whats the catch, but then I think hey it's kmart they probably should be bringing out rose peddles because I am in the store. I was looking for a splitter for my cable so i finished ruffled through a bunch of items in the eletronic section when people asked me if they could help me i said NO, probably in not a positive voice. So I go over after getting my shit and Listen to a 20 minute schpeal about jewlrey and take a survay. Then the lady says ok the jewlrey is free if you buy this other item. Everyone groans. She says what? It's a good deal. I said good deal, good deal would be free. So she says nothing is free, I said my time is expensive. Anyway I am walking out to the car and these kids from D.A.R.E. Want me to donate money, I asked them what is your program for. She said against drugs, alchohol and voilence and i replyed "Now why the **** would i give money to the 3 things I love the most" She laughed and she said well maybe you can buy a tshirt for a joke. So I pull out my wad of cash and I go yeah the meth business has been good. She pulls up a picture of all these kids and was like, would you sell meth to these kids and I said, already do? Why do you think they are so pumped up for recess. Anyway I was walking to car and a guy says "STOP" i figured it was going to be some pissed off parent that I said what I did to the 8th grader or whatever. It was a guy with no kmart shirt on or anything and he wants to see my reciept. I asked him why, I ain't giving you shit, I am on bannister road and you are stopping me halfway to my car. He threatens to call the police and I just threw the reciept at him and just grumble. Then I figured later you see a guy with a baggy ass clothes on going through a bunch of electronics then talking about meth to 8th graders chances are he was stealing something. The sad thing is i forgot to by another coaxil cord and I had to go back and the same fat lady asked if i wanted free jewlrey again.

Are you saying there's a store in that area that still hasn't closed?

[C-Mac]

Originally Posted by cdcox

Two minor episodes involving the female of the species.

#1. There is a woman sitting in her mini-van listening to Billie Holliday type jazz. It must be pretty loud as she has her windows up and my window is not open, yet I can still hear it clearly. As far as I could tell, she wasn't smoking cigarettes or tossing back gin.

2. I stop at the same convenience store every morning for coffee. One of the clerks does not speak, instead she softly squeeks. I swear that the only intelligible words I've heard from her are 'thank you". A typical encounter:

Her: meee beeek peee (barely audible)

Me: Hi

Her: mity oorr eeent (sixty-four cents)

Me: (hand her the money)

Her: eeerty eeex (thirty six)

Me: Thank you.

Her: Thank you.

I think she might have a speech impediment, but she has honestly never spoken loudly enough for me to tell for sure.

Perhaps she's deaf.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by C-Mac

Perhaps she's deaf.

Or a rat.

[Rain Man]

I was in the grocery store this weekend, and there was a couple in there that was really, really studying the canned tuna. They were standing there, and the woman had her hands on her hips and the guy was in the thinker pose, and they were really studying the tuna. Every once in a while, one of them would reach forward and pick up a can and study it, and then put it back. I wanted some tuna myself, and honored my initial policy of not reaching in front of them, but I stood there watching them and watching them and watching them and they couldn't make a decision, so finally I reached around them and grabbed a can of Bumblebee.

On an entirely unrelated note, my dental hygienist today was a bombshell. At one point, she told me to turn toward her and open my mouth, and I thought, "What do you think I've been doing for the last 20 minutes?"

[Mr. Plow]

Each day at work, as I leave to go get lunch or run an errand, I drive by this woman on a bike. She rides up and down the street in front of my office. Each day, I think, "man, she is an odd looking lady." Dressed in a white tank top thing, leather mini skirt, fish net stockings, pitch black hair down past her shoulders with high heels. Now, I've never done it myself, but it can't be easy to ride a bike that way. As I get closer, I realize that this ugly woman is actually an uglier man dressed as an ugly woman.

Shortly after I pass the ugly man dressed as an ugly woman on a bike, I get the joy of seeing the old man on roller skates. What's funny about the old man on roller skates is that I've seen him doing this for 4 years, so he's been skating for awhile. But he looks like he can barely skate. Imagine putting a dog on skates and watching it trying to keep it's balance.

[Iowanian]

Last night the Trailer park Circus came to visit.

There I am, preparing for bed in my nice, family friendly neighborhood a little after 11pm when I hear verbal altercations and words that routinely end with violence. I knew violence was intended because some of the words were things like "I'll eff you up" "me an mah sistah gonna kiw you, ho".

This peaked my attenion as the rental property accross the street and 1 house north often does. Some standing in the street, some in the yard on our side of the road, some in their yard......

One gal, with a baby wearing only a diaper(see temp, 45degF) on her hip, shouting at another about "doin' coke in front mah babaah" and all kinds of fun stuff, people like to hear in the streets of their neighborhood, which consists of elderly and young families with babies.

The cops roll up, and My jaw drops at the stupidity unleashed by this throng of dumb****ary swirling around this merri-go-round of dumbass.

quotes: "I's takes care uh mines kids"(I've used that as a joke before, but I heard the exact quote)...though by the time the cop arrives, the Baby(6-9months) had been tossed into the back of a car with the door open, so mama and mama sista can go "whip that ass"......and to the cop says "You know me, you know I whipped her ass at the walmart parking lot". "I hang out at the skate park every day watching basketball"...

I see 2 of the renters standing near the car with the open doors and the child, to their credit, caring for the child that the cops obviously are oblivous to......

Then Kidowanian cries.............an already building anger becomes a sweating, pulsing, veins pumping visibly in the neck and forehead Rage.

In what must have been an out of body experience, I find myself heading out the door barefoot, across the street in the direction of the renters(the same ones I'd talked to a month ago about too loud of music at midnight and woke up the kid...politely I might add.....and then were busted the following weekend for 15 year old drinking party).

I hear myself saying "So....can we look forward to this Jerry Springer Bullshit all summer, or will it be moving back to the trailer park".....You woke up my effing kid again and I'm not happy".....

At this point the cops and dumbasses in the street 20' away become quiet enough to hear ones self think for the first time in half an hour.....

so I turn and in a manner I wish I could quote, indicated that if said loudmouth put half the effort into getting a job that she did "hanging out at the skate park" and "whippin dat girl ass", she'd be effing civilized enough to have had her own effing baby at home in bed on a thursday, instead of sitting unattended in a car, in the cold with a diaper while she fought with a crackhead in the street".

"we're sorry" suggest the renters.

I wasn't in the mood to explain why, even though they weren't making the ruckus, they are ultimately responsible for their home and events that happen there.


I wish it were legal to crack heads with a stick.

[greg63]

I saw a couple of guys walk into a bar; the next one ducked.