Chiefs My Dad's sense of humor

Mr. Laz · 01-26-2009, 09:49 AM

got this email from my pops talking about how much it made him laugh.

I actually had to grow up with a guy that thinks this shit is funny.

His hero is Leslie Nielsen

===================
Subject: Chiefs

Subject: KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 2009 SCHEDULE

September

13..................... Raytown Junior High School
20.......................Cub Scout Troop #101
27..................... K.C. Blind Academy

October

04.....................Spanish American War Vets
11.....................Crippled Children's Home
18..................... Eloise Mental Hospital
25.....................Girl Scout Troop # 353

November

01.....................Missouri Venereal Disease Clinic
08.....................Fraser Boys Choir
15......................Korean Vets
22.....................National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26.....................Overland Park Synchronized Swimming Team

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME

December 08....................Brookside Gay Boys Club

**RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - When playing polio patients, the Chiefs must not disconnect knee braces.

2 - When playing the Blind Academy , the Chiefs must not hide the football under their jerseys.

** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Chiefs fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.

2 - The Chiefs will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.

3 - The Chiefs will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.

4 - The Chiefs will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.

5 - The Chiefs will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.

** NAME CHANGE **

The KANSAS CITY CHIEFS will be changed to the "KANSAS CITY TAMPONS" as they are only good for one
period and have no second string.

Pants · 01-26-2009, 10:06 AM

EyePod · 01-26-2009, 10:28 AM

I think that's amazing.... and I love Leslie Nielsen too.

Also, I heard that Girl Scout Troop # 353 has a girl who is on steroids (a la Dodgeball), and we should be able to win that one through a forfeit! At least we won't be as bad as the Lions!

teedubya · 01-26-2009, 10:35 AM

Tell your dad the schedule is ****ed... we only have 13 games this year? WTF is that shit?

Demonpenz · 01-26-2009, 10:44 AM

i just forwarded that on!

**Dartgod** · 01-26-2009, 11:23 AM

You're dad is and idiot.

Over-Head · 01-26-2009, 12:16 PM

But a funny one

Mama Hip Rockets · 01-26-2009, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

The KANSAS CITY CHIEFS will be changed to the "KANSAS CITY TAMPONS" as they are only good for one
period and have no second string.

oh come on, sometimes they are good for two quarters!

Big Chief Homer · 01-26-2009, 07:10 PM

Alright I see 11-2!!!

Im alittle worried about Oct 18th.............. those guys are crazy !

and that Monday night game!?!?!?! those wide recievers have mad ball skills!

**Skip Towne** · 01-26-2009, 08:15 PM

Your dad is easily entertained.

Mr. Laz · 01-26-2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

Your dad is easily entertained.

not easily ..... just weird(ly)

the more goofy stuff is ..... the funnier he seems to think it is.

**Skip Towne** · 01-26-2009, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

not easily ..... just weird(ly)

the more goofy stuff is ..... the funnier he seems to think it is.

Senility maybe? i'm looking forward to senility. Then I won't have to buy drugs.

blueballs · 01-26-2009, 10:17 PM

sounds like special teams
will be a draw

jidar · 01-26-2009, 10:45 PM

Somewhere between 20-30% of subject lines from email in our mail server queue starts with FWD: or some variation of that. I was surprised to see the percentage of email that is forwarded jokes and inspirational stories... it's enough to make an admin want to nuke the mail server.

RippedmyFlesh · 01-27-2009, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jidar

Somewhere between 20-30% of subject lines from email in our mail server queue starts with FWD: or some variation of that. I was surprised to see the percentage of email that is forwarded jokes and inspirational stories... it's enough to make an admin want to nuke the mail server.

I knew an admin who worked at a company that has policy of no net shopping on company pc's except 2 they had in a lunch room.Yet people
still did it at their desks. So he sat in his office one day after installing some monitoring software and would watch and wait until people got to checkout then BAM kill their connection.Some people had spent like 2 hours shopping only to be thwarted at checkout. Employees finally stopped shopping after that happened to a few folks who he knew had big mouths and would tell others.That must have been fun.

01-26-2009, 09:49 AM
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	My Dad's sense of humor got this email from my pops talking about how much it made him laugh. I actually had to grow up with a guy that thinks this shit is funny. His hero is Leslie Nielsen =================== Subject: Chiefs Subject: KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 2009 SCHEDULE September 13..................... Raytown Junior High School 20.......................Cub Scout Troop #101 27..................... K.C. Blind Academy October 04.....................Spanish American War Vets 11.....................Crippled Children's Home 18..................... Eloise Mental Hospital 25.....................Girl Scout Troop # 353 November 01.....................Missouri Venereal Disease Clinic 08.....................Fraser Boys Choir 15......................Korean Vets 22.....................National Hospital Pastorial Ministers 26.....................Overland Park Synchronized Swimming Team SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME December 08....................Brookside Gay Boys Club RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR 1 - When playing polio patients, the Chiefs must not disconnect knee braces. 2 - When playing the Blind Academy , the Chiefs must not hide the football under their jerseys. RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR 1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Chiefs fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points. 2 - The Chiefs will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times. 3 - The Chiefs will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime. 4 - The Chiefs will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team. 5 - The Chiefs will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards. NAME CHANGE The KANSAS CITY CHIEFS will be changed to the "KANSAS CITY TAMPONS" as they are only good for one period and have no second string.
Posts: 95,626

01-26-2009, 10:06 AM	#2
Pants Time Keeps On Slipping Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $5719900	__________________ "Turn the channel to 26!"
Posts: 27,294

01-26-2009, 10:28 AM	#3
EyePod Forgetting 2013 season end. Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Around Casino cash: $9995735	I think that's amazing.... and I love Leslie Nielsen too. Also, I heard that Girl Scout Troop # 353 has a girl who is on steroids (a la Dodgeball), and we should be able to win that one through a forfeit! At least we won't be as bad as the Lions! __________________ I did not believe in Mahomes until week 1. I've been woke ever since. I'm on board this freight train.
Posts: 5,800

01-26-2009, 10:35 AM	#4
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $9490002	Tell your dad the schedule is ****ed... we only have 13 games this year? WTF is that shit?
Posts: 36,649

01-26-2009, 10:44 AM	#5
Demonpenz I got Rice cookin in the micro Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $3162136	i just forwarded that on! __________________
Posts: 54,261

01-26-2009, 11:23 AM	#6
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $7440000	You're dad is and idiot. __________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 51,116

01-26-2009, 12:16 PM	#7
Over-Head Boom, Boom , Crash Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In my shed Casino cash: $9995760	But a funny one __________________ ...Illegitimus non Carborundum est...
Posts: 12,040

01-26-2009, 07:10 PM	#9
Big Chief Homer Veteran Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: offseason hell Casino cash: $10009985	Alright I see 11-2!!! Im alittle worried about Oct 18th.............. those guys are crazy ! and that Monday night game!?!?!?! those wide recievers have mad ball skills! __________________ “I’m at the prime of my career right now. I’m living life and doing the best I can do right now. We have a really good team on paper, we just have to get the chemistry down and put it all together. There’s no ceiling for Derrick Johnson.”
Posts: 1,638

01-26-2009, 08:15 PM	#10
Skip Towne Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: T-Town Casino cash: $10004900	Your dad is easily entertained.
Posts: 69,689

01-26-2009, 10:17 PM	#13
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	sounds like special teams will be a draw
Posts: 14,233

01-26-2009, 10:45 PM	#14
jidar MVP Join Date: May 2005 Location: a Casino cash: $10004900	Somewhere between 20-30% of subject lines from email in our mail server queue starts with FWD: or some variation of that. I was surprised to see the percentage of email that is forwarded jokes and inspirational stories... it's enough to make an admin want to nuke the mail server.
Posts: 5,502