Poop CP's Roast of.....Hootie presented by rico - Page 2

Pasta Little Brioni · 06-10-2013, 04:48 PM

Alright, rico, billay, and anyone else wanting to do some roasting of the enigma Hootie here is your stage. If it's popular, we'll continue with the series. If it blows...well we'll just pretend it never happened.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 05:08 PM

where I went to school our class was literally known as the 'gay' class

we took team showering a little too seriously

kstater · 06-10-2013, 05:11 PM

Frazod is fat

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 05:12 PM

my friend Kenny and I go out all of the time and try to bang as many girls as possible...he's like my mentor

well a fan favorite is when we kiss on the lips in front of people...I mean, you get shocked looks

we were at a bar and these dudes were listening to us roast the waitress so they came over and started taking shots with us...and then we started playing bags...and then when Kenny threw a walk off 3 pointer we embraced one another with an aggressive high five and then, naturally, a kiss on the lips

they were appauled. It was awesome. They literally left that bar within 5 minutes of that happening...they juts couldn't filter what they had just seen

well last night we went to a bar to watch the Heat game and they have those legal gambling machines...well he was playing and he hit a bonus...and it was literally just me, him and his brother...

well he hit a jackpot and instinctively we did our gay little kiss thing...and then we realized NO ONE was there

and we decided it was SUPER gay

BlackHelicopters · 06-10-2013, 05:12 PM

Another shart. Darn.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 05:13 PM

which doesn't even come close to the beer pong psyche out of pass the gum me and one of my friends played

which resulted in our opponents getting so disgusted they left the entire party...not just the premise

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 05:13 PM

like in...

as they were leaving...

someone was like "wait, where are you guys going?"

and they were like..."we just can't handle that."

**Donger** · 06-10-2013, 05:16 PM

I must admit that I do live vicariously through Hootie's fascinating stories about his life. They really are enthralling.

Pray continue, Hootie.

Pasta Little Brioni · 06-10-2013, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama

one time when hootie was 18 years old he went on a camping trip with his friends...while he was in a tent he pretended to give his best friend head...his best friend pelvic thrusted and stabbed hootie in the tooth with his erect penis

wait is this a roast or real stories?

Where the hell is rico??

**J Diddy** · 06-10-2013, 05:19 PM

Funny thing is I thought of Hootie this weekend when I was on the river. I, sitting happily in my raft with 3 of my dearest friends, had to endure an incredibly drunk homo who decided the last quarter mile he would stand on his cooler and whip out his pecker (which were in crotchless panties nonetheless)

Immediately I said holy ****, it's hootie in real life.

Rudy tossed tigger's salad · 06-10-2013, 05:20 PM

outrageous frats are outrageous.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 05:21 PM

I was never in a frat I'm an adult.

Hootie · 06-10-2013, 05:21 PM

oh and I think you have to be enrolled in school and only homo's get degrees!!!

**SAUTO** · 06-10-2013, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy

As you are an expert in the field of blowing, I will defer to your expertise.

Wait. Wut?

I thought that was you?
Posted via Mobile Device

DJ's left nut · 06-10-2013, 05:22 PM

Y'all haven't figure this out, have you?

Hootie generally owns his degenerate status. As such, it's really not that much fun burning him on it.

You have to let him get his mane up and start jabbing at him when he believes he's standing on principle in order to get a real rise out of him. Every now and then he thinks he's being an honest to God grownup. It's only then you can show him how badly he's failed at it (and as we all know, he will fail at it). That's when you get him pretty riled up.

But calling him a douchebag fratboy bartender/pizza boy doesn't accomplish much. He's aware he's a douchebag fratboy bartender/pizza boy and around 80% of the time, he gives zero ****s about that fact.

This venture is doomed to failure before it truly starts. In fact, it does little more than give him the attention he so yearns, which will provide him more fuel for reveling in being a douchebag fratboy bartender/pizza boy. You fellas clearly don't pay much attention.

But y'all have fun with it...

BlackHelicopters · 06-10-2013, 05:24 PM

06-10-2013, 04:48 PM
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $4008880	CP's Roast of.....Hootie presented by rico Alright, rico, billay, and anyone else wanting to do some roasting of the enigma Hootie here is your stage. If it's popular, we'll continue with the series. If it blows...well we'll just pretend it never happened.
Posts: 68,414

06-10-2013, 05:08 PM	#16
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	where I went to school our class was literally known as the 'gay' class we took team showering a little too seriously
Posts: 56,356

06-10-2013, 05:11 PM	#17
kstater Custom User Title Join Date: Jan 2007 Casino cash: $1906563	Frazod is fat
Posts: 39,160

06-10-2013, 05:12 PM	#18
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	my friend Kenny and I go out all of the time and try to bang as many girls as possible...he's like my mentor well a fan favorite is when we kiss on the lips in front of people...I mean, you get shocked looks we were at a bar and these dudes were listening to us roast the waitress so they came over and started taking shots with us...and then we started playing bags...and then when Kenny threw a walk off 3 pointer we embraced one another with an aggressive high five and then, naturally, a kiss on the lips they were appauled. It was awesome. They literally left that bar within 5 minutes of that happening...they juts couldn't filter what they had just seen well last night we went to a bar to watch the Heat game and they have those legal gambling machines...well he was playing and he hit a bonus...and it was literally just me, him and his brother... well he hit a jackpot and instinctively we did our gay little kiss thing...and then we realized NO ONE was there and we decided it was SUPER gay
Posts: 56,356

06-10-2013, 05:12 PM	#19
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $2740588	Another shart. Darn. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 31,661

06-10-2013, 05:13 PM	#20
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	which doesn't even come close to the beer pong psyche out of pass the gum me and one of my friends played which resulted in our opponents getting so disgusted they left the entire party...not just the premise
Posts: 56,356

06-10-2013, 05:16 PM	#22
Donger "Think BOOM!" Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W Casino cash: $10379900 VARSITY	I must admit that I do live vicariously through Hootie's fascinating stories about his life. They really are enthralling. Pray continue, Hootie. __________________ I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 180,652

06-10-2013, 05:19 PM	#24
J Diddy Don't Be A Dick Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Joplin Casino cash: $6927192	Funny thing is I thought of Hootie this weekend when I was on the river. I, sitting happily in my raft with 3 of my dearest friends, had to endure an incredibly drunk homo who decided the last quarter mile he would stand on his cooler and whip out his pecker (which were in crotchless panties nonetheless) Immediately I said holy ****, it's hootie in real life.
Posts: 33,637

06-10-2013, 05:20 PM	#25
Rudy tossed tigger's salad Better than Nelson Join Date: Mar 2003 Casino cash: $10000400	outrageous frats are outrageous.
Posts: 17,356

06-10-2013, 05:21 PM	#26
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	I was never in a frat I'm an adult.
Posts: 56,356

06-10-2013, 05:22 PM	#29
DJ's left nut Sauntering Vaguely Downwards Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Columbia, Mo Casino cash: $3029099	Y'all haven't figure this out, have you? Hootie generally owns his degenerate status. As such, it's really not that much fun burning him on it. You have to let him get his mane up and start jabbing at him when he believes he's standing on principle in order to get a real rise out of him. Every now and then he thinks he's being an honest to God grownup. It's only then you can show him how badly he's failed at it (and as we all know, he will fail at it). That's when you get him pretty riled up. But calling him a douchebag fratboy bartender/pizza boy doesn't accomplish much. He's aware he's a douchebag fratboy bartender/pizza boy and around 80% of the time, he gives zero ****s about that fact. This venture is doomed to failure before it truly starts. In fact, it does little more than give him the attention he so yearns, which will provide him more fuel for reveling in being a douchebag fratboy bartender/pizza boy. You fellas clearly don't pay much attention. But y'all have fun with it... __________________ "If there's a god, he's laughing at us.....and our football team..." "When you look at something through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."
Posts: 60,233

06-10-2013, 05:24 PM	#30
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $2740588	JIMP __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 31,661