Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union

[Rain Man]

I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons.

Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine.

Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable.

Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years.

No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something.

The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes.

They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine.

Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend.

And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers.

Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages.

Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless.

[The Franchise]

Easily a Top 5 Rainman thread.

[highBOLTage]

Originally Posted by mr. tegu

But were the roads in good shape?

Roads are usually good, even non tolls; repave frequently. CA takes your money and the roads are crap.

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

There are nice people in Maine.

Yep, Mainers are usually very nice unlike massholes.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable....
Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages

Make up your mind they are either interesting or stupid.

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Tolls are really annoying. I've elaborated on Oklahoma tolls and California tolls in the past. On this trip I had to pay $3 a day to the rental car company for a device that allows me to automatically pay $1 every ten miles to the f'ing state of Maine. That's like a 300% tax.

Where did you go? 95 from the south has a $1 and $3 toll to get to the coast but then there are no tolls on the coast. If you like tolls, take 95 south to NY area and find some 5, 10, $15 bridges. I think it cost me $40 in tolls to drive to Baltimore couple years ago. I've been to 49 states and moved to midcoast Maine from San Diego. Coastal Maine is the best especially when you get a little north and there are less people. I'm with you on lobster rolls. I have a recreational license for lobstering and catch 20+ per week in my backyard. My favorite way for lobster is lightly floured then deep fried, beans, homemade flour tortilla, salsa and guacamole California style with fries. Usually have that twice a week through the year.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

What I discovered when we went to Yellowstone a few years is ago, is that Wyoming has some amazing places, with some of the biggest expanses of absolutely ****ing nothing in between them.

I'm pretty sure I found the Official Middle of Nowhere on our way back towards Casper. It went on like this for well over an hour if not two.

The thing that most amazed me about Wyoming is how they do road construction. Years ago I was driving on a state highway northeast of Laramie, and suddenly the road was just.... gone. All the pavement had been removed. Went on like that, just dirt, for about a mile, and then the road started up again.

Must be a western thing, because I saw something similar in the Black Hills on the South Dakota side.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Frazod

Try I-80 across central Wyoming sometime. At least in Maine and Kansas there are living things.

The only reason I don't rate that as the worst drive is because I only did it once, and it was different enough to be somewhat interesting.

I'm sure they looks nothing like Wyoming, but I've done two utterly desolate drives in my time.

1. The drive from the airport on the big island of Hawaii to the resort we were staying. See picture below. My memory (this is from the 80s) is that the lava formations were smoother and taller than what you see below, but still, it was like landing on freaking Mars.

2. Drive from Hoover Dam to northern rim of the Grand Canyon. Desolate desert for miles and miles. There ain't nothing remotely like that in the northeast, that's for sure. Trees were in scarce supply. I'd probably have hated that drive if I was more used to seeing that (not that there was much to see), but it was so weird I was pretty fascinated by the nothingness of it all, so to speak.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by highBOLTage

Yep, Mainers are usually very nice unlike massholes.

I was going to keep quiet on this, but I was involved in an unpleasant incident arising from racism in Maine. Unpleasant comments from ignorant fools in a state which is literally 99% white.

Of course, that's just a couple of people, but still -- that left a bad taste in my mouth for the state also.

[HonestChieffan]

The Maine Lobster Festival is a great time. If you can't have a great time in Maine, there is always 6 Flags or Silver Dollar City. Or an Indian Casino.

[luv]

Does this mean Missouri is the "hot chick"?

[DJ's left nut]

I respectfully disagree with Mr. Rainman.

I stayed in Kennebunkport and made a couple of trips down into Portland and some surrounding areas. I found it to be a fantastic, very pretty state.

I can only kind of disagree with Bugeater. Wyoming was, in fact, one of the most desolate spaces I have ever seen in my life. Until I continued further north into Montana and then drove through the high desert up there. We were on a motorcycle trip and got pretty far west into Montana before circling back towards the black hills (essentially made a giant squarish sort of thing starting in Colorado Springs). We were at open throttle across almost literally the entire state. That would've been terrifying but/for the fact that the road had no features to scare you; no turns, no hills - just a road that vanished due to the eventual curvature of the earth. The landscape has nothing that might hide wildlife which could jump in front of you. There are no cars that might turn in front of you or police presence that might be annoyed by your rate of travel. You could just go 120 mph for hours because there is literally nothing there.

Wyoming was desolate but I've never seen anything like Montana. This overpopulation nonsense is bullshit - there's plenty of space for people. They just don't want to live where it's cold...

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Frazod

The thing that most amazed me about Wyoming is how they do road construction. Years ago I was driving on a state highway northeast of Laramie, and suddenly the road was just.... gone. All the pavement had been removed. Went on like that, just dirt, for about a mile, and then the road started up again.

Must be a western thing, because I saw something similar in the Black Hills on the South Dakota side.

Holy shit - yes, you're right. It just isn't there anymore. Now do that for 20 miles on a goddamn motorcycle. It is....not fun. 2 wheels and gravel do not mix.

And yeah, it was the strangest thing I've ever seen. No markers, no real warnings to speak of. The road just...stops. And then after awhile it starts again.

[banecat]

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

have you read his books? They don't exactly portray Maine as a place anyone wants to live at...

I tried to. He might be the only cool thing to ever come out of there. Maine is so awful that it made him crazy and a great writer. Maine sucking something awful, and a lot of Colombian Bam Bam helped his career to what it is

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Tolls are really annoying. I've elaborated on Oklahoma tolls and California tolls in the past. On this trip I had to pay $3 a day to the rental car company for a device that allows me to automatically pay $1 every ten miles to the f'ing state of Maine. That's like a 300% tax.

And by the way, Portland? Portland is in Oregon, you losers. Augusta is in Georgia and Portland is in Oregon. Stop plagiarizing.

Sorry, that really is not right. It was almost Boston, Oregon.

https://www.koin.com/news/where-we-l...3222/960355546

[ping2000]

Can Maine play safety?

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

Holy shit - yes, you're right. It just isn't there anymore. Now do that for 20 miles on a goddamn motorcycle. It is....not fun. 2 wheels and gravel do not mix.

And yeah, it was the strangest thing I've ever seen. No markers, no real warnings to speak of. The road just...stops. And then after awhile it starts again.

Yeah, and this wasn't flat, open terrain, either - it was in a rugged, mountainous stretch. I also hit it right around dusk, and it was a road I had never driven on before. This was back in the days before GPS, and I had no phone service at the time. It was very disconcerting driving on that until the pavement started back up again.

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I respectfully disagree with Mr. Rainman.

I stayed in Kennebunkport and made a couple of trips down into Portland and some surrounding areas. I found it to be a fantastic, very pretty state.

I can only kind of disagree with Bugeater. Wyoming was, in fact, one of the most desolate spaces I have ever seen in my life. Until I continued further north into Montana and then drove through the high desert up there. We were on a motorcycle trip and got pretty far west into Montana before circling back towards the black hills (essentially made a giant squarish sort of thing starting in Colorado Springs). We were at open throttle across almost literally the entire state. That would've been terrifying but/for the fact that the road had no features to scare you; no turns, no hills - just a road that vanished due to the eventual curvature of the earth. The landscape has nothing that might hide wildlife which could jump in front of you. There are no cars that might turn in front of you or police presence that might be annoyed by your rate of travel. You could just go 120 mph for hours because there is literally nothing there.

Wyoming was desolate but I've never seen anything like Montana. This overpopulation nonsense is bullshit - there's plenty of space for people. They just don't want to live where it's cold...

Wyoming's largest city is Cheyenne...with a population of 60,000.


Yeah, not too many people there, and that's why we're thinking about moving there. Cold? It gets cold here in the midwest. I'll take it.

[Bugeater]

I had forgotten about the Great Salt Flats, we traveled across that when I was a kid. I seem to recall it going on for hours, but it was only 50 miles. It has to be longest stretch of interstate anywhere without any type of curve or hill. Just nothing.