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View Poll Results: Will you have him?
"Jamaal, I'll take you back for the full contract. No restructuring necessary." 4 6.06%
"2 years, $4m? You got a deal." 52 78.79%
"I love you but I'm sorry. We're going to cut you." 10 15.15%
"You seem nice. Would you like to meet Direckshun's whore of a mother?" 13 19.70%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 66. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-10-2017, 09:23 PM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Jamaal Charles walks through Dorsey's door.

"Listen John, I know that at my age and with my history, my contract doesn't make sense any more. My future in Kansas City, if I even have one, is as a 5-10 carry back -- maybe 15 when we get to the playoffs.

I want to re-do my contract, so I can stay a Chief and split carries with my boys Spencer and Charcandrick (and Knile -- dude and I have been bros since 2013).

How about 2 years, $4m? Some incentives thrown in if I eclipse so many yards from scrimmage or take a certain percentage of snaps.

*offers rose bouquet*

Will you have me?"
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:23 PM   #2
Chiefs Pantalones Chiefs Pantalones is offline
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Who hurt you?
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Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chiefs Pantalones 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:24 PM   #3
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiefs Pantalones View Post
Who hurt you?
Everyone.

If there's anyone on CP that knows less about football than Direckshun, I've yet to see him/her.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:25 PM   #4
C3HIEF3S C3HIEF3S is offline
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This has potential for a great boob thread.
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C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.C3HIEF3S 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:25 PM   #5
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiefs Pantalones View Post
Who hurt you?
I have no idea why but I laughed so damn hard at this.

Rep.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:27 PM   #6
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:31 PM   #7
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud View Post
Everyone.

If there's anyone on CP that knows less about football than Direckshun, I've yet to see him/her.
What I love about this post is that you edited the last sentence into it.

You posted, studied your post, and realized that your burn wasn't enough.

So you edited in more burn. That's special.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:39 PM   #8
wazu wazu is offline
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The Alex Smith version of this thread would've been more fun.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:39 PM   #9
crayzkirk crayzkirk is offline
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Considering he has played less than half a season the last two years and been paid, I'm not sure what the point is.

JC was a great player for the Chiefs however the market value for a 29+ year old running back with two surgically repaired knees each with multiple surgeries seems pretty low.

I think we can get his replacement in the draft cheaper. Not meaning to dismiss JC or what he has meant, his time is probably done.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:48 PM   #10
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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"Hey John, a former teammate of mine murdered my wife's cousin in the parking lot of the facility I train at every day. I've signed two contract extensions to keep playing for that team since then. Some asshole on the internet pulling shit out his ass thinks you're gonna split the same town where your wife has family and leave the team coached by a longtime friend of yours where you've built up and enjoyed a lot of success. All so you can move to ****ing Green Bay because they seemed really nice in your early career as a scout and lower front office guy. Now, I knooooow that dude is just talking out his ass and trying pass off supposition as actual sports reporting, yeah? I mean, think how silly it would be if you left this place when it's never been anything but happiness and daisies to you, and I've stayed here when I was the very best in the league for several years running behind shit lines, terrible head coaches, and a lineup of QBs that includes Matt Cassel, Brodie Croyle, Tyler Thigpen, and Tyler ****ing Palko. And those mother****ers all started at least 5 mother****ing games with me in the goddamn backfield! I stayed for all that ****ing shit, John. Life's been pretty good for you the past 4 years, hasn't it, John? Your wife's cousin didn't get murdered by a teammate of yours, yeah? Chris ****ing Ballard hasn't blown his brains out 20 feet away from where you usually park your car? At least not yet? That's good to hear. Sounds like things are going well. I have no idea why you'd take off and leave when things are going well and your hard work is paying off. Why would anybody do that, John? Do you know? That's why that reporter guy must be full of shit, know what I'm saying?

"I knooooow you ain't thinking of leaving, John. Because if you did, I'd shove a goddamn coked-up porcupine up your ass so goddamn fast you'd tell the cops it was Tyreek who did it. You feel me, John?"

"Oh, and uhh... I'd like to be back next year. Give my agent a call when you've got a spare 20 minutes. Thanks bree."
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.

Last edited by RealSNR; 01-10-2017 at 09:55 PM..
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:56 PM   #11
Buns Buns is offline
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"Hey John, sign me when you get to Green Bay! CHHHHHHEEEEEP!"
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Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Buns Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:59 PM   #12
Buns Buns is offline
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I keed I keed.

For realsies, I would try to get him to take a two year minimum with game play incentives to take it up to 2 yrs/5 mil. He should get his tenure for whatever shitty insurance NFL offers.
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Last edited by Buns; 01-10-2017 at 11:04 PM.. Reason: Typo
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Old 01-10-2017, 10:15 PM   #13
TimBone TimBone is offline
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SNR, he committed suicide in the parking lot. He murdered the girl back at the crib.
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Old 01-10-2017, 10:17 PM   #14
DaFace DaFace is offline
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Sure. I'd be glad to give him that contract.
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Old 01-10-2017, 10:18 PM   #15
threebag02 threebag02 is offline
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