Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing?

[Jenson71]

Just wondering what the practice/custom is.

[phisherman]

I didn't, and I don't regret it at all. It didn't feel appropriate at the time. We had been together for 5+ years and I think that us getting married was a bit of a foregone conclusion.

[DonkyPuncher]

Originally Posted by Literature

That's a good point. The tradition legally stems from the Tort of Seduction. A father could sue in civil court the person who married/took away the daughter, because the daughter (and wife and minor-sons) were basically property.

Now it's morphed into a show of respect, but it doesn't seem that genuinely respectful or necessary to me.

interesting, I did not know that first part

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by InChiefsHell

Since I had to explain that I knocked her up, I think the marriage thing was a foregone conclusion. I never asked. You'd have to know my FIL...it would not and did not matter.

Were you planning on marrying her before she became pregnant?

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by okoye35chiefs

if you have a daughter do you expect your future son in law to ask you?

I have three daughters and I haven't decided yet.

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by DonkyPuncher

interesting, I did not know that first part

I didn't either, until yesterday. I'd never even heard of the Tort of Seduction until then. It wasn't until 1874 that a state (Iowa) allowed a woman to sue her master on her own behalf. Her master (employer) had molested or raped her.

[Hydrae]

Dad was already dead and mom loved me so, no worries on the permission front.

[okoye35chiefs]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

I have three daughters and I haven't decided yet.

I have two and I guess it depends on the situation. Right now I would say I expect them to ask me for my blessing not for my permission

[Dayze]

I think it's a sign of respect that you love his daughter, and wnt to spend your life together with her. and in some ways, it's also asking/implying that you want to be a part of their family as well. At least, that's the way I read the Italian way.

I've since learned that her family is WAY big on family/respect. There are just some things that are pretty much a slap in the face if they were not done. They'll do anything for anyone in their family at a drop of a hat - immediate family, cousins, aunts etc.

I was married when I was 26 and she was 27. I asked both her mom and step-dad, as well as her dad.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by okoye35chiefs

I have two and I guess it depends on the situation. Right now I would say I expect them to ask me for my blessing not for my permission

that.

[Rain Man]

As a tip, sometimes you have to sweeten the deal with a couple of goats.

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by InChiefsHell

You have a long time to have your mind change. Growing up and having kids will do that to you. Never say never.

You have time to change your mind about it, too.

[tooge]

Lets put it this way. Most of the "no" posters say that they regret it, and all of the "yes" posters think it is still the right thing to do. That should answer all of your questions.

[Jenson71]

Similarly, as a sign of respect, would you ask for the father's blessing if you were getting a divorce from her? Or is respect just not that important anymore?

[The Rick]

Does her Dad secretly work for the CIA?

http://www.pastapadre.com/wordpress/...fockers-00.jpg

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by tooge

Lets put it this way. Most of the "no" posters say that they regret it, and all of the "yes" posters think it is still the right thing to do. That should answer all of your questions.

There are 29 "no" posters, and only two have expressed some degree of regret.