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08-08-2006, 09:22 PM | #31 |
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I went to a party tonight, and this woman started talking to me, and she was such a close talker that I think I may have gotten her pregnant.
It was weird. She was right up in my face, closer than two people ever get unless they're dating. I kept backing up, and she would keep moving forward. I swear that her face was less than a foot from mine. It was weird.
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08-08-2006, 09:47 PM | #32 |
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I went to Firefall this past July. About 60,000 people there to watch. It can definitely be interesting.
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08-08-2006, 09:52 PM | #33 |
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Heh...
I went to Wendy's for lunch and a skank comes in and gets in line behind my wife and I. I see the boyfriend pull around to the other side of the building and notice another scary looking couple in the back seat looking in at her. We placed our order then sat and watched her....She places and order and asks for an application. Of coarse its really busy but this skank insists on seeing the manager (No. 1 no no in my book) who is completely slammed. The skank gets her food and takes it out to the car and returns for her interview....The manager comes out frustrated and calmly explains to the girl he has no time fo an interview and will call her later so she leaves visibly upset....I'm thinking...thats a nice first impression when all the sudden the boyfriend comes in and throws a complete fit and demands his money back for the food she bought since the order was "wrong". After thats resolved he looks at the manager and tells him what a jackass he is not hiring his wife....WOW
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08-08-2006, 09:52 PM | #34 |
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I took my daughter to HS today to pick up her schedule and get her yearbook picture taken. I saw a teenage boy there that was wearing baby blue socks with sandles; navy blue polyester shorts with a verticle red-white-and-blue stripe and a pocket on the thigh; and a baby-blue golf shirt. The poor kid was emitting nerd rays.
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08-20-2006, 09:39 PM | #35 |
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I have a contender!
This is particularly relevant given the previous post by cd.
So...I don't know if I can do this moment justice, but allow me a moment of preface. I was fishing today in a lake, known for large bass near a nuke plant. There happend to be a Triathalon there, and the swimming began when I arrived, people everywhere...pain in the arse. We fish for hours, with no luck, along with every other fisherman in the lake.....around 2:30...the fun is starting to take its toll(as is the sunburn). Enter stage left. We're fishing from my boat, near an out of the way ramp and rock jettie, when I notice a girl with 2 horses and a dog in a bandana, standing on the jettie, having photos taken. I make mention to my cohorts and estimate it is her senior photos. Soon, the approach the ramp in the small area we are fishing, and it is announced(by mother and daughter...father, boyfriend, and horses in trail) that they are taking her senoir photos...and that she's about to take some in the water.(Basically, Get out of the way with your boat, silly fisherman, thy are ruining the impending photo of Rodeo Princess Polly. She sits down, removes boots and puts on expensive cowboy lid and reminds us she's about to take a pic on her horse....to which I reply and I quote "I'm not surprised, as I can see by your hat, that you are a cow..boy". Immediately, father enters from stage left, daughter mounts bareback on horse...dad begins to lead horse down ramp...I reach for digital camera, hoping for vid mode but fail to act quickly enough. As dad and horse with daughter bareback in tow reach water line....Horse goes Berzerker! Girl bounces from back haunches, into air and back to rebound buck of horse and is LAUNCHED several feet into the air and then into the water(neatly groomed hair, clean cloths, shiny buckle, new expensive stetson lid, ass over teakettle. Horse, still going berzerk leaps deeper into water. As soon as I realize the girl is unharmed, I snap action photo to be attached. Hillarity at her expense ensued. In a moment strait out of dane cook comedy with nothing missing but an icecream cone to smash on her face....Iowanian made sure it was a moment she'd never forget. |
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08-20-2006, 10:19 PM | #36 |
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I saw a really bad crossdresser in the grocery store today. I was walking up to the deli counter, and I see this person facing away from me, wearing a skirt and blouse and women's sandals. My first thought was wonderment at seeing a woman who was 6 foot 5. My second thought was that she sure had manly legs.
Sure enough, the guy turns around and it's not only a guy, but it's a guy with a very deep voice. He had grown his hair past his shoulders and had fingernail polish and toenail polish, but no fake mammaries. It was just a guy in a women's skirt. He was with a women, and she looked like she might be his mother, though it's possible that she was a girlfriend. It was really hard to figure out this guy's age. He was talking to her and then went over and gave her a big hug right there at the deli counter. I wondered if she found it embarrassing.
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08-20-2006, 10:23 PM | #37 | |
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My disappointment was only drowned out by the 98 decibles of laughter in my boat. Just close your eyes and imagine. It'll get you there.
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09-01-2006, 07:28 AM | #38 |
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I guess this fits here in that it probably doesn't deserve a thread of its own.
On the way to work this morning, a cop enters the interstate directly behind me. This is through a construction zone where the posted speed is 45 mph. So I pull onto the interstate in moderately heavy traffic and toe the line for the 10 seconds it takes the cop to enter and pass me. I then enter the middle lane and drive about 10 - 15 mph over the speed limit, which is the consensus speed limit for that lane. I can see the cop ahead and he is in the fast lane at the end of a line of cars going at least 65 in a 45 with construction workers on the job site. A s soon as the driver at the end of the conga line notices the cop behind him, he pulls over to the middle lane and the cop moves up a slot in the line. Rinse and repeat. I soon lose track of the cop because I'm content to go 55-60. Meanwhile, I'm still getting passed every few seconds by cars in the fast lane. About 6 miles up the road I finally catch up to the cop. He's got someone pulled over and is already out of the car talking to the motorist. I was just wondering what this person must have been doing to get singled out from a heard of probably 100 motorists all blatently ingoring the posted construction speed limit. |
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09-01-2006, 05:44 PM | #39 |
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I was in a meeting today with two women who, to the best of my recollection, interrupted over 75 percent of the sentences begun by the rest of the people in the meeting. One of the people finally told them to stop and let other people finish their sentences. It wasn't an effective admonishment, though.
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09-01-2006, 06:07 PM | #40 |
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There's been this guy walking around our building. He's a doughy white guy wearing black fatigue pants, a black shirt with epilets and a black beret.
Ours is a small, one level suburban office building in a commercial area. Anyway, we'll be working away and this figure all in black will walk by our window. Huh!! [the only thing in front and behind our building are our parking lots, and the only thing outside our windows is a small strip of grass [1-15 yards] between us and the restuarant next to us] Half hour later, he walks in our lobby, looks around, walks back out. Week later, come back from lunch, and he's sitting in his car, a mid-80s Ciera [again, black. But rusty and dilapidated]. Oh, and did I mention about 20 doll and Barbie heads on his dash? Or the fringe across the top of his front windshield/headliner? Weeks later, he walks in front of my car at the drive through, halfway across town, passing from Taco Bell to Arbys and further points unknown. Every time, it's the same euro-doughboy black bereted ensemble. So evidently E-ville has a new wandering eccentric.
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09-01-2006, 06:11 PM | #41 |
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I'm currently in Cabo San Lucas in a Ballroom filled with at least 1,000 strangers. We're stuck here because of Hurricane John, which is due to hit in the next couple of hours. Since I'll be sleeping with 1,000 people that I don't know tonight, I'm sure I'll have some observations to report.
The one thing that surprises me is that hotel staff and kitchen are have been incredibly efficient and gracious in a time where people could be in a panic. I'll post more info if anything crazy happens. |
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09-01-2006, 06:39 PM | #42 |
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I didn't see anything unusual today.
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09-01-2006, 07:26 PM | #43 | |
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Quote:
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09-01-2006, 07:28 PM | #44 | |
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Quote:
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09-01-2006, 09:26 PM | #45 |
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Well fortunately, I have nothing to report. Hurricane John missed Cabo San Lucas and after 13 hours sequestered in the main ballroom, we were released to the comfort of our rooms.
The staff was incredible and because of that, everyone put together a tip jar and raised over $2500 for the staff. They did a tremendous job and it was actually a really fun day. |
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