Home Discord Chat
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Nzoner's Game Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-22-2008, 04:48 PM  
Vegas_Dave Vegas_Dave is offline
Veteran
 
Vegas_Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Casino cash: $2384720
Alcoholic Brother Spiralling Out Of Control - Help

So my older brother is scaring me now. He has had personal issues that have been weighing him down and the personallity that he is, found alcohol and pot as his escape.

He and I were abused as children by our stepfather. This stepfather fled the country and has been on the run for 20+ years.

Our half sister (her real father) has no memory of him and has always been curious. She knows what he did but part of her cannot help but want to know. Well, about a year ago she found him.

I wasnt informed of this until about 2 months ago. Since then, my brother, sister and I have been getting things lined up to bring him to justice.

However, my brother was never able to deal fully with all of the items from the past. He find out about this about 10 months ago. It caused him to quit his job as he couldnt focus and really, he has not been able to truly function since. While he tries to make it seem like he is OK and simply taking the time off (plenty of money in the bank)... he has been getting worse.

Today, my father received an anonymous call from one of my brothers "friends" stating that just recently, it has been getting much worse and now everyone is worried about him.

My father and I were already concerned and this has now just confirmed our worries.

We just dont know what to do.

Has anyone here had to deal with a situation with a loved one like this and if so, what CAN we do?
Posts: 1,856
Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 04:49 PM   #2
SPchief SPchief is offline
In Search of a Life
 
SPchief's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2004
Casino cash: $2132905
First in with antifreeze.






In all seriousness, get him help.
__________________
http://give.somo.org/site/TR/Plunge/...nal&fr_id=1244

^^^^^^^^^^
Click here to help with a special cause. Please help me out


Posts: 36,005
SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.SPchief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 04:53 PM   #3
Vegas_Dave Vegas_Dave is offline
Veteran
 
Vegas_Dave's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Casino cash: $2384720
Quote:
Originally Posted by SPchief View Post
In all seriousness, get him help.
But if he doesnt WANT help, is there anything more we can do is my problem...

We obviously want to get him help. I am personally concerned that suicide may be in the future for him if these things cannot be dealt with.
__________________
Lastly,

Redrum_69:
Posts: 1,856
Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 04:54 PM   #4
RJ RJ is offline
Supporter
 
RJ's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: In a shotgun shack
Casino cash: $9965202
Dave, is the drinking new or has it always been there and the recent events exacerbated the problem?
Posts: 14,931
RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.RJ Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 04:57 PM   #5
Vegas_Dave Vegas_Dave is offline
Veteran
 
Vegas_Dave's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Casino cash: $2384720
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ View Post
Dave, is the drinking new or has it always been there and the recent events exacerbated the problem?
Drinking has always been part of his life, 2-3 beers a day was the average which turned into 4-5 a day within the past year. However, the "friend" said it is now more like 2-3 6 packs a day and half a bottle of scotch.

So, recent events have made it worse.
__________________
Lastly,

Redrum_69:
Posts: 1,856
Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 04:59 PM   #6
Braincase Braincase is offline
Banned
 
Braincase's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Pond> Me <Barn
Casino cash: $11298284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave View Post
But if he doesnt WANT help, is there anything more we can do is my problem...

We obviously want to get him help. I am personally concerned that suicide may be in the future for him if these things cannot be dealt with.
Intervention
__________________
BrainCase
Posts: 15,429
Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.Braincase is too fat/Omaha.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 04:59 PM   #7
BigVE BigVE is offline
Veteran
 
BigVE's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: centralKs
Casino cash: $10005250
No clue here but my only advice would be to do SOMETHING. Keep in closer contact with him than normal, express your concerns and offer help of any kind. For people who have addictions the first stage in really getting better is to admit there is a problem and that they do need help. I have dealt with this to a much lesser extent and it took a while to help the person to see that they were hurting not only themselves but their loved ones too...once he saw that it was easier to help him help himself. Good luck.
__________________
Meh.
Posts: 4,829
BigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking aboutBigVE is the dumbass Milkman is always talking about
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:00 PM   #8
Bowser Bowser is offline
mod-ish
 
Bowser's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: KC North
Casino cash: $3691616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave View Post
But if he doesnt WANT help, is there anything more we can do is my problem...

We obviously want to get him help. I am personally concerned that suicide may be in the future for him if these things cannot be dealt with.
I'm no shrink, I just play one on the Webs, but I would say his quitting his job to go along wit the out of control boozing and drugging is a very loud cry for help.

If you truly think he is considering suicide, ask him to his face if that is what his intention is. You will know immediately.

Good luck.
Posts: 100,208
Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:02 PM   #9
Vegas_Dave Vegas_Dave is offline
Veteran
 
Vegas_Dave's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Casino cash: $2384720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braincase View Post
Intervention
Intervention is of course something that we will be doing...

I guess my question is more of the aspect that if he is an adult, and refuses help, is there anything further that we can do?

I have calls into people that I know that have dealt with these types of issues before but wanted to see if anyone here really had any experience dealing with this before and could give me "first hand" information bsaed on their experience.
__________________
Lastly,

Redrum_69:
Posts: 1,856
Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.Vegas_Dave must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:15 PM   #10
chief52 chief52 is offline
Veteran
 
chief52's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NoCal
Casino cash: $9855260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave View Post
I guess my question is more of the aspect that if he is an adult, and refuses help, is there anything further that we can do?
The only experience I have with this is that if the person does not recognize the problem and want to change, there is nothing you can do for them. I have a good friend who has gone through rehab 4 times and is still drinking. His business is on the brink of going under. Each time he has gone in, it has been friends and family members who have gotten together and he has agreed to go through rehab. He did it for them. But each time he has come out, he went right back to drinking in excess. Out of control to the point it is killing him physically and financially.

Bottom line, you can not make some one quit. They have to decide for themselves, and until that happens...

As far as the emotional/mental stuff going on, that is way over my head.
Posts: 3,123
chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.chief52 is not part of the Right 53.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:25 PM   #11
el borracho el borracho is offline
In Pat We Trust
 
el borracho's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Casino cash: $6679148
In my experience (one alcoholic sister-in-law and one depressed close friend), there is only so much you can do to help someone. I would say that keeping your brother away from alcohol and drugs as much as possible is a good start. Literally knock the beer out of his hands if you see him with it. Try to get him to counseling. Try to get everyone who knows him aware of the problem and try to get them to offer support (phone calls, visits, counsel, etc.).

Sadly, you also need to prepare yourself as best as you can for the worst because, ultimately, your brother's depression and addiction are beyond your control. I wish I could be more encouraging but people have to help themselves.
Posts: 11,783
el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:29 PM   #12
kcxiv kcxiv is offline
In Search of a Life
 

Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central Valley, Cali
Casino cash: $8807996
What 52 said is pretty much correct, you can ONLY hope the intervention helps him realize that he has people that love him and want to see him do ok in life without the use of alcohol and drugs. Drugs will come into play sooner or later. If that doesn't wake them up, then your in for a rough rough time with him. If he doesnt want to get better, then there is nothing anyone can do.
Posts: 29,110
kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.kcxiv is too fat/Omaha.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:32 PM   #13
kstater kstater is offline
Custom User Title
 
kstater's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Casino cash: $2176563
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave View Post
Intervention is of course something that we will be doing...

I guess my question is more of the aspect that if he is an adult, and refuses help, is there anything further that we can do?

I have calls into people that I know that have dealt with these types of issues before but wanted to see if anyone here really had any experience dealing with this before and could give me "first hand" information bsaed on their experience.
You're not going to like this, but if he doesn't want help, all you can do is check in on him. And if and when he becomes a detriment to you and your family, you need to cut ties with him until he's better.
__________________
Posts: 39,138
kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.kstater threw an interception on a screen pass.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:33 PM   #14
el borracho el borracho is offline
In Pat We Trust
 
el borracho's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Casino cash: $6679148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave View Post
Intervention is of course something that we will be doing...

I guess my question is more of the aspect that if he is an adult, and refuses help, is there anything further that we can do?
Things have to be severe before any judge will declare an adult incompetent. My sister-in-law spent decades spiraling downward, countless visits to the ER, multiple near-death accidents (bleeding out of her throat, falling and bashing her head open, etc.) and it was only at the end that she was declared incompetent.
Posts: 11,783
el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.el borracho wants to die in a aids tree fire.
    Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2008, 05:35 PM   #15
Phobia
Guest
 

Casino cash: $
Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they wise up. Your brother will likely deplete his life savings, take out $100k in loans, and then finally hit rock bottom with or without your support.

Not trying to be a party pooper. That's just the way it is. Human beings are incredibly complex individuals - especially those of us with Freudian issues.
Posts: n/a
    Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:37 AM.


This is a test for a client's site.
Fort Worth Texas Process Servers
Covering Arlington, Fort Worth, Grand Prairie and surrounding communities.
Tarrant County, Texas and Johnson County, Texas.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.