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Old 07-18-2013, 10:21 AM  
journeyscarab journeyscarab is offline
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Man: Female Jogger Defecates Next To My House...Repeatedly

http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2...medium=twitter

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Nob Hill man is hoping that surveillance footage will lead to the identification of a female jogger who has been repeatedly defecating next to his home while out on her morning runs. The man told reporters that he thought it was a one time occurrence and that the culprit was a homeless person. But video footage shows the culprit to be a young female jogger who has conducted her business at least four times...the first being on Easter Sunday.

The man says that she always strikes on weekend mornings. He also claims to be the victim of "malicious fecal distribution."

Strangely enough, the man has not contacted police, fearing that they won't take the complaint seriously, but is hoping news coverage might pressure her to stop. If she doesn't, he may take matters into his own hands: "If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!,'" he said.

The good news here is that the female jogger appears to be regular...which is nice.
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Old 07-18-2013, 10:45 AM   #16
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Want to meet hotties? Go to 5ks.
I ran one in 23:45 yesterday...my personal best.
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Old 07-18-2013, 10:45 AM   #17
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Nevermind, found one.

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Old 07-18-2013, 10:45 AM   #18
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My old building had a pretty nice gym in it. I would go down and workout early in mornings and the only other person in there was 7.5 red head. She'd be on an elliptical with a continous, gag inducing stench of shit coming out of her ass, every morning. She never walked off to use the can or anything, just kept letting them fly. It was amazing how few ****s she gave about it. I broke down and bought a gym membership because I couldn't take it.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:18 AM   #19
loochy loochy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good View Post
I ran one in 23:45 yesterday...my personal best.
good job dood

what age bracket are you in? I run around that time and it used to be good enough to place in the 25-30 age group. Since I moved up to the 30-35 age group, I never place. There are lots of fast runners in this group.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:19 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by KCUnited View Post
My old building had a pretty nice gym in it. I would go down and workout early in mornings and the only other person in there was 7.5 red head. She'd be on an elliptical with a continous, gag inducing stench of shit coming out of her ass, every morning. She never walked off to use the can or anything, just kept letting them fly. It was amazing how few ****s she gave about it. I broke down and bought a gym membership because I couldn't take it.
I encourage my wife to do this when creepers come near, but she won't heed my advice.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:28 AM   #21
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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Originally Posted by KCUnited View Post
My old building had a pretty nice gym in it. I would go down and workout early in mornings and the only other person in there was 7.5 red head. She'd be on an elliptical with a continous, gag inducing stench of shit coming out of her ass, every morning. She never walked off to use the can or anything, just kept letting them fly. It was amazing how few ****s she gave about it. I broke down and bought a gym membership because I couldn't take it.
That's just weird.

Isn't your digestive system supposed to slow down a bit when you engage in physical activity? I feel like your adrenal system should shut it down a bit.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:30 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by loochy View Post
I encourage my wife to do this when creepers come near, but she won't heed my advice.
It can be an effective technique. I was swimming laps at the gym on Monday and through the glass, I saw this obvious anorexic chick on an elliptical come to a stop, dig in her ass, smell her hand, walk to the locker room and return a few minutes later to take up shop on a stairmaster right next to my wife. I swam a few more laps and when I came up I noticed my wife had moved on. She was convinced ol girl pooped them.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:32 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by loochy View Post
good job dood

what age bracket are you in? I run around that time and it used to be good enough to place in the 25-30 age group. Since I moved up to the 30-35 age group, I never place. There are lots of fast runners in this group.
I just turned 35...started running at age 34. Yesterday was the shortest run I've done in months. I set a personal best running 4.5 miles the day before, and my body felt worn down yesterday. If I take a couple of days off, I think I can get down into the 22s.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:32 AM   #24
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That's just weird.

Isn't your digestive system supposed to slow down a bit when you engage in physical activity? I feel like your adrenal system should shut it down a bit.
Yeah, it was odd. It wasn't like she was doing yoga or something. Occasionly, someone else would show up and we would exchange that awkward "that ain't me, man" glance. I convinced myself she probably had IBS or something.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:33 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
That's just weird.

Isn't your digestive system supposed to slow down a bit when you engage in physical activity? I feel like your adrenal system should shut it down a bit.
Lots of people get the craps when they run distance. Something about the continuous rhythmic bumping of a run makes you go. Before you run you need to make sure you are completely empty.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:34 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
That's just weird.

Isn't your digestive system supposed to slow down a bit when you engage in physical activity? I feel like your adrenal system should shut it down a bit.
Not at all. It's called "runner's runs". It doesn't happen to me, but it's pretty common.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:35 AM   #27
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the Nob Hill Crapper strikes again.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:40 AM   #28
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I have to admit...the surveillance camera footage is pretty impressive. She does her business in about three seconds flat and goes right back to running.
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:50 AM   #29
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Old 07-18-2013, 11:54 AM   #30
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