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11-30-2012, 09:34 AM | #16 |
Tip of the hat LIV Champs
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: ks
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A Brave Man Once Requested Me To Answer Questions That Are Key 'Is It To Be Or Not To Be' And I Replied Oh Why Ask Me |
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11-30-2012, 09:35 AM | #17 |
You Sweetie!
Join Date: Sep 2005
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VARSITY
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11-30-2012, 09:40 AM | #18 |
Cast Iron Jedi
Join Date: Nov 2004
Casino cash: $9999900
VARSITY
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... It was the goal line!
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11-30-2012, 09:41 AM | #19 |
On one quarter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: I play all day
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ooooh shitty jokes about the Chiefs. let me try.
Did you know Pioli feels optimistic before every draft? He has to since, he is always reaching for the stars.
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A person who has been [ideologically] demoralized cannot assess true information. the [demoralization] process is complete and irreversible. -Yuri Bezmenov on Soviet Subversion |
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11-30-2012, 10:15 AM | #20 |
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
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Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome! |
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11-30-2012, 10:17 AM | #21 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
Casino cash: $2625880
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An old man goes to the doctor for his annual exam and the doctor says, "I've got some bad news. You have Cancer...you also have Alzheimer's." The old man is visibly shaken and replies, "Whew, at least I don't have Cancer."
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11-30-2012, 10:18 AM | #22 |
Beloved & Awesome CP Celebrity
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Florida
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11-30-2012, 10:19 AM | #23 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
Casino cash: $2625880
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A bear and a rabbit are shitting in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No. No, I don't." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
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11-30-2012, 10:21 AM | #24 |
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
Casino cash: $2540752
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Then wiping with the rabbit does no good. The stuff just stays on the bear because it won't stick to the rabbit.
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Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome! |
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11-30-2012, 10:25 AM | #25 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
Casino cash: $2625880
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A guy is out late drinking at a bar and has too much. He throws up on his shirt. He starts to get very upset, complaining to the bartender that his wife will be angry at how drunk he allowed himself to become. The bartender tells him to slip a ten dollar bill into his shirt pocket. When he gets home he is to tell his wife that someone else threw up on his shirt and gave him the money to get his shirt cleaned. As he stumbles in he tells his wife the story. His wife pulls the bill out of his pocket and sees that it's a twenty. The man says, "Oh I forgot to tell you. He shit in my pants too."
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11-30-2012, 10:25 AM | #26 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
Casino cash: $2625880
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No, no. It will stick. The rabbit just doesn't have a problem with it.
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11-30-2012, 10:27 AM | #27 |
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
Casino cash: $2540752
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OOOOOHHHH
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Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome! |
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11-30-2012, 10:29 AM | #28 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
Casino cash: $2625880
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A man wanders into a brothel and asks what he can get for two dollars. The madame tells him that for two dollars there is a dead whore on the second floor that he can have sex with. He pays her and makes his way up the stairs. Some time later he comes back down the stairs and the madame asks him if he enjoyed himself. He says he did but he noticed that the whore had a runny nose, which he found unusual for a dead girl. The madame says, "Oh. She's just full again."
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11-30-2012, 10:30 AM | #29 |
Arrowhead Trail of Tears
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: KansasCity
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11-30-2012, 10:35 AM | #30 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In Partibus Infidelium
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Two old guys are sitting on a park bench and one turns to the other saying, "I bet you can't guess how old I am." The other guy says, "I can. If you do a few things I can guess your exact age." So the other guy tells him to drop his pants and his underwear, bend over and stick two fingers up his ass. He doesn't want to, pleading embarrassment. After a lot of goading the old man complies. The other guy states his age of 95 years. He says, "That's amazing. I've never seen anything like that. How did you do that?" And the other man replies, "You told me yesterday, you senile old bastard."
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