The Joeckeling of SNR

[Direckshun]

It's happening, bitches.

For the 2013 regular season, SNR argues that rookie tackle Luke Joeckel will be responsible for allowing no fewer than 7.0 sacks, so long as he starts at least 14 games.

If he is responsible for 7.0 sacks or more during this timespan, Direckshun will have his username changed to SNR's Bitch, along with a new avatar and tagline, and work in various phrases about how cool SNR is into every one of his posts from the conclusion of Week 17 to Feb. 15th, along with transferring all his casino cash to SNR.

If Joeckel actually plays like a goddamn top rated tackle, however, and is responsible for fewer than 7.0 sacks during that timespan, SNR will have to tailor each one of his posts from Week 17 to Feb. 15th in a manner to be determined later by Direckshun, along with transferring all his casino cash to Direckshun.

(This bet can be reviewed as of April 25th if Luke Joeckel is drafted by any of the other 31 teams in the NFL, and can be modified on that date. It is also invalidated by Joeckel failing to start 14 games.)

I am sleepwalking through this one, folks.

I will take any and all suggestions for the style in which SNR should have to post.

[Sassy Squatch]

Wow. 7 sacks? 5 would've been a better benchmark IMO.

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by Setsuna

Joker gonna give up 2 sacks a game. Dickshun's goose is cooked....drizzled with rape sauce.

That is what I think he is going to average for giving up sacks protecting Alex Smith.

[crazycoffey]

Originally Posted by Sweet Dick Willie

"Rape Toy". That's a good band name.
Posted via Mobile Device

I like Struggle Snugglers better.

[crazycoffey]

Originally Posted by Wonton Prejudice

dont puss out, SNR

We're going to cover Direckjan's face in our genetic material.

you're going to shit on him/her?

[Messier]

Here it is again. I don't get it. So many people here talk like Joeckel is barely draftable. Show me one expert that says he's way overrated. Not saying someone our there isn't saying it, but I haven't seen them. I understand preferring Fisher to Joeckel, I do too, but people here talk like he's gonna play like an undrafted rookie.

[Mother****erJones]

Originally Posted by Wonton Prejudice

Alright you little bitch, here's some beef:

If Luke Joeckel gives up 7 or more sacks, you have to make little shows of obeisance and prayer to every thread I post. Basically just come in the thread and make a post blowing me. I have confidence you can mix it up.

If Joeckel gaves up fewer than seven sacks I'll do the same for your shitty threads.

If joeckel gives up not gaves up, dipshit

[Mother****erJones]

Ill take a bet too. The NFC East will make cockle their bitch this year

[The Bad Guy]

Originally Posted by Tribal Warfare

IMO, he'll need to be a top 5 OT to justify the selection for next season.

Is his contract for one year?

[bevischief]

wow.

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by Messier

Here it is again. I don't get it. So many people here talk like Joeckel is barely draftable. Show me one expert that says he's way overrated. Not saying someone our there isn't saying it, but I haven't seen them. I understand preferring Fisher to Joeckel, I do too, but people here talk like he's gonna play like an undrafted rookie.

Oh Oh Oh I don't give a **** about "experts" have to say about prospects. I'm not saying Joeckel is that bad but he isn't worth OUR #1 pick of the draft. **** Joeckel.

[Mother****erJones]

How well did Jake Long work out for the Dolphins?

[RealSNR]

Originally Posted by Messier

Here it is again. I don't get it. So many people here talk like Joeckel is barely draftable. Show me one expert that says he's way overrated. Not saying someone our there isn't saying it, but I haven't seen them. I understand preferring Fisher to Joeckel, I do too, but people here talk like he's gonna play like an undrafted rookie.

Joeckel is NOT a finished product coming out of college. He honestly reminds me a lot of Jason Smith. Perhaps he won't fail as hard. In fact, he very likely won't. But I predict the NFL is going to be a shock to his system, and it will show. Hard.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by SNR

Joeckel is NOT a finished product coming out of college. He honestly reminds me a lot of Jason Smith. Perhaps he won't fail as hard. In fact, he very likely won't. But I predict the NFL is going to be a shock to his system, and it will show. Hard.

I think your bet should represent that. If he sucks bawls and Reid can't justify playing him in front of some jackwagon that gives up 7 sacks, your bet is null, when in fact, that situation would be much more egregious than just giving up 7 sacks.

I don't think that would happen if he went 1 overall, but I'd hate to bet. This ****ing franchise did draft Tyson Jackson #3 overall.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by SNR

Joeckel is NOT a finished product coming out of college. He honestly reminds me a lot of Jason Smith.

You are so full of shit, you might as well start honoring your bet now and get it over with.

Joeckel's Jason Smith?

Jason Smith was an unproven athletic wonder who blew up after the Combine. Lane Johnson is Jason Smith, if anybody.

Joeckel's not an athletic wonder. He is a technician who's perhaps the most proven OT prospect to come out in the Top Ten since Russell Okung.

[RealSNR]

These two scouting reports look awwwwwwwwwwfully similar to me...

Positives: Tall, athletic left tackle prospect. Excellent straight-line speed and hustle, getting downfield on screens and long runs. Can pull and trap, running smoothly and adjusting to oncoming defenders. Moves to the second level quickly, using good angles to keep linebackers out of the play. Should work well in zone-blocking schemes with his ability to lock onto defenders and move. Gets down quickly to cut block despite his height. Adjusts well to outside blitzers. Willing to throw his man to the ground and keep him there. Has made significant improvement in terms of technique and strength over the past two years at left tackle.

Negatives: Typically operates out of a two-point stance for his school. Raw in his pass-set technique, standing a bit upright and backpedaling instead of sliding to mirror his man. Locks onto his man at first, but eventually loses his balance and grip due to his average upper-body strength and footwork. Does not have much of a punch in pass protection. Can lose the hands battle on the line. Could use a bit more bulk in the lower body to be more effective as a drive blocker. May initially have to be moved inside to left guard for a zone-blocking team.

STRENGTHS Technically-sound left tackle prospect. Plays with good bend and a very wide base in pass protection in spite of his long legs. Moves feet quickly and stays in balance, rarely giving up the edge and pulling off the down block/outside blitz pick-up admirably. Good timing and strength on his punch, possesses good hand placement and will reset them to maintain distance. Recovers quickly if his misses his punch, stays on his man. Gets after his man in the run game, has foot quickness to get correct angle and keeps them moving to sustain the block. Good power step inside to choke off inside spin moves. Capable cut-blocker. Excellent athleticism and foot speed, showing the ability to mirror and stay in front of many talented pass rushers over his three years starting.

WEAKNESSES Does not possess elite upper or lower-body strength; only adequate as a drive-blocker and can be pushed back by better defensive ends and shed in the run game. Foot quickness is good, but does not execute the reach block as often as you’d like. Overextends his punch on occasion, vulnerable to a rip move outside or spin inside. Played exclusively in a two-point stance and can get caught playing upright. Due to his QB’s ability to break the pocket and scramble, did not frequently face pass rushers that challenged him hard upfield