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Old 08-05-2005, 03:00 PM   Topic Starter
AustinChief AustinChief is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Austin
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Friday Jokes

Ok.. need some new jokes for the weekend...

Any really good ones that you've heard lately?

I'll start with the mandatory sexist jokes...

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won't do what she's told.

Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.



A man was out golfing one day when he hit his ball into the woods. He went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to him, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes. The man freed the frog and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your wife will get 10 times more or better!'

The man said, 'That would be okay,' and for his first wish, he wanted to be the most handsome man in the world. The frog warned him, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your wife the most beautiful woman in the world, that men will flock to.' The man replied, 'That will be okay because I will be the most handsome man and she will only have eyes for me.' So, KAZAM - he's the most handsome man in the world!

For his second wish, he wanted to be the richest man in the world. The frog said, 'That will make your wife the richest woman in the world and she will be ten times richer than you.' The man said, 'That will be okay because what is mine is hers and what is hers is mine.' So, KAZAM he's the richest man in the world!

The frog then inquired about his third wish, and he answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'
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