All-Idiot Team Training Camp interview!! Must read! - Page 2

Mark M · 11:42 AM

This is the first in a three-part series of interviews with members of [b]Packfan’s All-Idiot Team[/b]. The team is comprised of chiefsplanet members who have been called out, insulted or just generally annoyed with Ken and his mundane posts.

Our reporter, Skippy McScooperson, sits down with the new head coach to discuss the upcoming season. ([i]Editor’s note:[/i] the team searched high for a coach ... but once they sobered up, they realized that looking low would be better. They tried to get Hank Stram to “ventriculate” out of retirement, but to no avail. So they got the next best thing: Stram’s toupee, Harry, who plans on being just as conspicuous on the sideline as he is on Hank’s head.)

Part one in the series is about the off-season and the offense, part two on defense and part three on special teams and the gaggle of off-the-field personnel.

[i]Skippy: First, I’d like to thank you for meeting with me, Harry.[/i]
Harry: Not a problem. I was just lying around anyway.
[i]S: (laughing) Well, let’s get to it, then. How do you feel you did in the offseason?[/i]
H: We made some key acquisitions: [b]keg_in_kc[/b], [b]Aturnis[/b], [b]NFLFrank[/b] and others have really come in and made an immediate impact on the team. And the veterans haven’t let up either. It was a great offseason, overall.
[i]S: Several players had offseason surgery and even a few injuries, like [b]Big Daddy[/b]’s shoulder. How is the recovery process going?[/i]
H: Very well, very well. Actually, the biggest problem we’ve had is with our QB, [b]Mark M[/b].
[i]S: What is exactly was, or is, the nature of his injury?[/i]
H: He’s got a bad case of [i]Packfanitis[/i], which is basically just an annoying and often intolerable pain in the a$$. Kind of like hemorrhoids, but less itchy, more hurty.
[i]S: Didn’t [b]keg[/b] and [b]KCTitus[/b] have the same problem?[/i]
H: Yes, they did. And as our #2 QB and starting left tackle, respectively, it’s important that they be healthy. They solved the problem by just ignoring their [i]Packfanitis[/i]. It seems to be working well.
[i]S: You’ve installed a new offensive scheme. How are the players adjusting?[/i]
H: Extremely well, Skip. Our O-line of [b]Titus[/b], [b]KCWolfman[/b], [b]Russ[/b], and [b]bishop74[/b], are doing a great job of getting in the way. And the center, [b]Cameron Diaz[/b] is making our QBs very, very happy. The wide receivers like [b]milkman[/b] (converted from RB), [b]KPhobia[/b], [b]JOhn[/b] and [b]Coryt[/b] are all running precise routes ... well, they’re getting past the line of scrimmage anyway. Once they do that, catching the ball is much easier. Of course, most can’t even catch a cab ...
[i]S: And what about running back by committee? Is that finally over?[/i]
H: Yes. We will give [b]Luz[/b] the ball in our normal set, [b]H_C Chief[/b] will be our third down back and [b]Bob Dole[/b] will be utilized in single back sets.
[i]S: Um ... isn’t that the same thing?[/i]
H: Not really. We like to call them “situational substitutions” rather than “running back by committee.”
[i]S: So it’s just semantics?[/i]
H: No. It’s just a different way of saying it.
[i]S: Um ... [/i]
H: What I’m really looking forward to is our kicking game. [b]Dartgod[/b] has been booming them in practice, kicking it over 60 yards.
[i]S: But how about his accuracy?[/i]
H: Well ... we’re still working on that. The fact he’s even making contact with the ball is a significant improvement.
[i]S: And the tight ends?[/i]
H: [b]dawsonpa[/b] still has one of the tightest around, if that’s what you mean. [b]tommykat[/b] is putting the pressure on her, though. As far as [b]Mark Kilgore[/b] goes, well ... he’s still working on tightening his end, as it were.
[i]S: I see ... [/i]

[b]Stay tuned ... tomorrow: Part 2—The Idiotic Defense[/b]

MM
~~Really needs a hobby.

**Bob Dole** · 08-09-2001, 12:58 PM

Mi_chief_fan · 08-09-2001, 01:04 PM

............but as the owner/punter, I [b]DEMAND[/b] to be not-so-special teams captain.

Mark M · 08-09-2001, 01:10 PM

Mi--
Not a problem ... boss. ;)

MM
~~Butt smooching.

**Lzen** · 08-09-2001, 03:18 PM

I'm disappionted that I didn't make the team....Booo hooooo!
Very funny stuff. Where'd you say you work again?

Raiderhater · 08-09-2001, 03:55 PM

That's pretty funny Mark. I had been wondering as of late what was going on with the team, glad to know our lack of funds hasn't closed us down yet.;)

**AustinChief** · 08-09-2001, 04:15 PM

Hey Mark M,

So does the team have a head of Cheerleader operations yet? I think that I could [I]fill[/I] that position...

--Kyle
~OFFICIALLY putting his application forward

htismaqe · 08-09-2001, 04:47 PM

Lack of funds?!?!

****, I sold about 500 lbs. more bud than Bam Morris this year to support this sorry-*** squad... :D

**Bob Dole** · 08-09-2001, 05:48 PM

Hey htismaqe--send Bob Dole a Smoke Signal. The ol' glaucoma is acting up and the supply is almost expended.

Warrior5 · 08-09-2001, 05:58 PM

Seeing that Part 3 is still two days away, I sincerely hope that KCGannonStalker (webmaster) gets interviewed with the rest of the Front Office personnel.

Izen: don't sweat it...you can work with Cody and me in Concessions.

Cody: fire up that deep fryer! We gotta make up a butt-load of Jalapeno Poppers and Cheese Balls before Sunday night!

**Rausch** · 08-09-2001, 08:31 PM

Hey,i know that I have only joined the team under a year ago, but I just need my shot. Practice squad has been nice, but I have the ability to move up.

It's been the motivational factor. With the new staff in place and the proper packfan-motivation I think this is my Jessey-Haynes break out year...

We got a long snapper yet.....I hear Denise.....

Nevermind, bad joke...:eek:

Raiderhater · 08-09-2001, 08:38 PM

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by htismaqe [/i]
[B]Lack of funds?!?!

****, I sold about 500 lbs. more bud than Bam Morris this year to support this sorry-*** squad... :D [/B][/QUOTE]

LOL! I hadn't heard about that other source of income. Sell a few more pounds and Bwana can afford that sports car I orignally wanted in my contract.:)

Hader,
knows Pimp Daddy Bwana will just spend it on himself instead

**Bwana** · 08-09-2001, 08:47 PM

"Hader,
knows Pimp Daddy Bwana will just spend it on himself instead."

As long as "Pimp Daddy Bwana" has his goldfish shoes and table dances he's happy. :D

P.S. The Turk is just around the corner..... :eek:

htismaqe · 08-09-2001, 08:47 PM

**** you would say something like that...

I don't remember what was in my contract!

Where's Titus?!?! :D

Raiderhater · 08-09-2001, 08:49 PM

Does that mean that a sports car isn't out of the question should a little more be made in "the other side of the business"?

**Bwana** · 08-09-2001, 08:51 PM

Hader: Without question, but some of the green must be made up from other areas if you know what I mean. ;)

What did you have in mind for a "sports car?"

08-09-2001, 10:16 AM
Mark M What time is it? Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: You tell me ... Casino cash: $9884900	All-Idiot Team Training Camp interview!! Must read! This is the first in a three-part series of interviews with members of [b]Packfan’s All-Idiot Team[/b]. The team is comprised of chiefsplanet members who have been called out, insulted or just generally annoyed with Ken and his mundane posts. Our reporter, Skippy McScooperson, sits down with the new head coach to discuss the upcoming season. ([i]Editor’s note:[/i] the team searched high for a coach ... but once they sobered up, they realized that looking low would be better. They tried to get Hank Stram to “ventriculate” out of retirement, but to no avail. So they got the next best thing: Stram’s toupee, Harry, who plans on being just as conspicuous on the sideline as he is on Hank’s head.) Part one in the series is about the off-season and the offense, part two on defense and part three on special teams and the gaggle of off-the-field personnel. [i]Skippy: First, I’d like to thank you for meeting with me, Harry.[/i] Harry: Not a problem. I was just lying around anyway. [i]S: (laughing) Well, let’s get to it, then. How do you feel you did in the offseason?[/i] H: We made some key acquisitions: [b]keg_in_kc[/b], [b]Aturnis[/b], [b]NFLFrank[/b] and others have really come in and made an immediate impact on the team. And the veterans haven’t let up either. It was a great offseason, overall. [i]S: Several players had offseason surgery and even a few injuries, like [b]Big Daddy[/b]’s shoulder. How is the recovery process going?[/i] H: Very well, very well. Actually, the biggest problem we’ve had is with our QB, [b]Mark M[/b]. [i]S: What is exactly was, or is, the nature of his injury?[/i] H: He’s got a bad case of [i]Packfanitis[/i], which is basically just an annoying and often intolerable pain in the a$$. Kind of like hemorrhoids, but less itchy, more hurty. [i]S: Didn’t [b]keg[/b] and [b]KCTitus[/b] have the same problem?[/i] H: Yes, they did. And as our #2 QB and starting left tackle, respectively, it’s important that they be healthy. They solved the problem by just ignoring their [i]Packfanitis[/i]. It seems to be working well. [i]S: You’ve installed a new offensive scheme. How are the players adjusting?[/i] H: Extremely well, Skip. Our O-line of [b]Titus[/b], [b]KCWolfman[/b], [b]Russ[/b], and [b]bishop74[/b], are doing a great job of getting in the way. And the center, [b]Cameron Diaz[/b] is making our QBs very, very happy. The wide receivers like [b]milkman[/b] (converted from RB), [b]KPhobia[/b], [b]JOhn[/b] and [b]Coryt[/b] are all running precise routes ... well, they’re getting past the line of scrimmage anyway. Once they do that, catching the ball is much easier. Of course, most can’t even catch a cab ... [i]S: And what about running back by committee? Is that finally over?[/i] H: Yes. We will give [b]Luz[/b] the ball in our normal set, [b]H_C Chief[/b] will be our third down back and [b]Bob Dole[/b] will be utilized in single back sets. [i]S: Um ... isn’t that the same thing?[/i] H: Not really. We like to call them “situational substitutions” rather than “running back by committee.” [i]S: So it’s just semantics?[/i] H: No. It’s just a different way of saying it. [i]S: Um ... [/i] H: What I’m really looking forward to is our kicking game. [b]Dartgod[/b] has been booming them in practice, kicking it over 60 yards. [i]S: But how about his accuracy?[/i] H: Well ... we’re still working on that. The fact he’s even making contact with the ball is a significant improvement. [i]S: And the tight ends?[/i] H: [b]dawsonpa[/b] still has one of the tightest around, if that’s what you mean. [b]tommykat[/b] is putting the pressure on her, though. As far as [b]Mark Kilgore[/b] goes, well ... he’s still working on tightening his end, as it were. [i]S: I see ... [/i] [b]Stay tuned ... tomorrow: Part 2—The Idiotic Defense[/b] MM ~~Really needs a hobby. Last edited by Mark M; 08-09-2001 at 11:42 AM..
Posts: 4,687

08-09-2001, 12:58 PM	#16
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $2664497	<img src="http://store2.yimg.com/I/jsbstash_1641_113278" height="255" width="113">
Posts: 48,502

08-09-2001, 01:04 PM	#17
Mi_chief_fan There was an idea..... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Murfreesboro,TN Casino cash: $9942966	Just for the record. I don't play offense or defense........ ............but as the owner/punter, I [b]DEMAND[/b] to be not-so-special teams captain. __________________ Bandwagon Predators Fan!
Posts: 3,517

08-09-2001, 01:10 PM	#18
Mark M What time is it? Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: You tell me ... Casino cash: $9884900	So let it be written ... Mi-- Not a problem ... boss. ;) MM ~~Butt smooching. __________________ ChiefsPlanet -- n. The place where brilliant minds assemble to willfully pool ignorance with questionable logic in order to reach absurd conclusions.
Posts: 4,687

08-09-2001, 03:18 PM	#19
Lzen Supporter Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Jan Quadrant Vincent 16 Casino cash: $2300692	I'm disappionted that I didn't make the team....Booo hooooo! Very funny stuff. Where'd you say you work again? __________________ If at first you don't succeed ...skydiving is not for you.
Posts: 41,311

08-09-2001, 03:55 PM	#20
Raiderhater **** the Raiders Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: A Webb of chaos Casino cash: $2232021	That's pretty funny Mark. I had been wondering as of late what was going on with the team, glad to know our lack of funds hasn't closed us down yet.;) __________________ "Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant
Posts: 28,238

08-09-2001, 04:15 PM	#21
AustinChief Administrator Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Austin Casino cash: $2749112	Hey Mark M, So does the team have a head of Cheerleader operations yet? I think that I could [I]fill[/I] that position... --Kyle ~OFFICIALLY putting his application forward
Posts: 19,488

08-09-2001, 04:47 PM	#22
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10269900	Lack of funds?!?! **, I sold about 500 lbs. more bud than Bam Morris this year to support this sorry-* squad... :D
Posts: 100,022

08-09-2001, 05:48 PM	#23
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $2664497	Hey htismaqe--send Bob Dole a Smoke Signal. The ol' glaucoma is acting up and the supply is almost expended.
Posts: 48,502

08-09-2001, 05:58 PM	#24
Warrior5 Stram was Cav Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $9174010	Mark M... Seeing that Part 3 is still two days away, I sincerely hope that KCGannonStalker (webmaster) gets interviewed with the rest of the Front Office personnel. Izen: don't sweat it...you can work with Cody and me in Concessions. Cody: fire up that deep fryer! We gotta make up a butt-load of Jalapeno Poppers and Cheese Balls before Sunday night! __________________ The best pass defense is attacking the passer.
Posts: 5,232

08-09-2001, 08:38 PM	#26
Raiderhater **** the Raiders Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: A Webb of chaos Casino cash: $2232021	[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by htismaqe [/i] [B]Lack of funds?!?! **, I sold about 500 lbs. more bud than Bam Morris this year to support this sorry-* squad... :D [/B][/QUOTE] LOL! I hadn't heard about that other source of income. Sell a few more pounds and Bwana can afford that sports car I orignally wanted in my contract.:) Hader, knows Pimp Daddy Bwana will just spend it on himself instead __________________ "Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant
Posts: 28,238

08-09-2001, 08:47 PM	#27
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139623647	"Hader, knows Pimp Daddy Bwana will just spend it on himself instead." As long as "Pimp Daddy Bwana" has his goldfish shoes and table dances he's happy. :D P.S. The Turk is just around the corner..... :eek:
Posts: 69,729

08-09-2001, 08:49 PM	#29
Raiderhater **** the Raiders Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: A Webb of chaos Casino cash: $2232021	Does that mean that a sports car isn't out of the question should a little more be made in "the other side of the business"? __________________ "Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant
Posts: 28,238

08-09-2001, 08:51 PM	#30
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139623647	Hader: Without question, but some of the green must be made up from other areas if you know what I mean. ;) What did you have in mind for a "sports car?"
Posts: 69,729