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Old 07-30-2013, 01:04 PM  
Skyy God Skyy God is offline
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Paralyzed Man Wakes to Find His Dog Bit Off His Testicle


Fluffy white dogs are a menace & should be eradicated (or, if you're feeling humane, universally sterilized). Finally my innate prejudice against them is justified.

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An Arkansas man paralyzed from the waist down told police he awoke Monday morning to a "burning pain," only to find his dog chewing on a ball. His ball, that is.

According to the official police report, the 39-year-old Trumann resident regularly sleeps in the raw, and was fully nude when he woke up yesterday around 7:45 AM to discover his dog "had eaten one of his testicles."

The unidentified owner had rescued the "small, white, fluffy" stray just three weeks ago, and had yet to take it in for a checkup.

Sadly, the dog's first visit to a vet was to be euthanized.

The Arkansas Department of Health will test the dog's remains for rabies.

Meanwhile, adding insult to injury, the man was transported to St. Bernards Regional Medical Center to be treated.
http://gawker.com/paralyzed-man-wake...ticl-963044875
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:46 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Pestilence View Post
If he's paralyzed from the waist down....how did he feel a burning pain?
That part had me curious, too.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:50 PM   #17
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:51 PM   #18
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Antifreeze for the dog.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:54 PM   #19
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Why did I click on this thread. WHYWHYWHY
You're not having a ball?
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:55 PM   #20
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:56 PM   #21
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:57 PM   #22
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:58 PM   #23
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When asked how the testicle tasted, the dog responded, "ruff!"
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:59 PM   #24
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:59 PM   #25
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:10 PM   #26
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I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:11 PM   #27
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his new nickname could be "Wrecking Ball"
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:16 PM   #28
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:20 PM   #29
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:21 PM   #30
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Obviously the dog was just playing fetch.
You can't spend all day yelling, "Get the ball, boy! Get the ball!" and not expect a little confusion come nightfall.
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