Planet expertise needed for CL ad

[Bob Dole]

So Bob Dole just bought what he feels is a lovely 16 acres of NE Texas real estate. Tons of deer and feral hog sign, situated pretty much in the middle of nothing. There is a neighbor on the tract to the south, but not close enough that it is going to be any sort of issue.

Where CP comes in: There is an uninhabitable mobile home on the property that needs to go the **** away. Bob Dole would call the Red Hill Volunteer Fire Department and ask them if they needed some practice, if not for the fact that the resulting fire would damage at least 3 pecan trees estimated to be 80 years old. The thing has been abandoned as best as Bob Dole can tell since 1994, so vandals and animals have taken their toll--and Bob Dole has zero interest in doing anything but making it disappear. Surely there is someone who would be interested in the scrap value of the frame and wiring in exchange for just making the damned thing go away.

Bob Dole is appealing to the awesome collective imagination of The Planet to compose a craigslist ad that will make this zero-sum (for Bob Dole) project a reality. Help a clueless old man write an attention grabbing ad that will result in its removal. (Or at least generate some funny email responses.)

[A Salt Weapon]

You might have better luck with the ad if you refrain from referring to yourself in third person.

Just paint "free candy" on the side and leave it by the road.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Bob Dole]

Originally Posted by philfree

It'd be hard to know but if it's been abandoned that long it most likely won't be worth it for anyone with the means to move it to do so. Is the tongue on it? How bout' the axles? Tires? Are there trees grown up around it that would have to be cut down?(Not the Pecan trees.) Is there an AC? Any breakers in it?

Tongue still attached with clear access. No a/c and breaker box is out.

[seclark]

had the same kind a deal when i bought my place. old pos trailer. had a guy w/a backhoe come in and haul it back to the edge of the timber then just bust the shit out of it. dug a hole and pushed all but the frame in the hole. burned it, then covered it up.

as for the frame, the metal is too flimsy to make a decent trailer out of it. i had a guy come over to cut it up in pieces and haul it off to sell. he cut one piece off of it and i never saw him again. guess the metal isn't worth much. it's still sitting about 20 yards back in the brush. can't see it from the yard so the wife doesn't bitch too much about it.

that's all i got.
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[kepp]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Loopner

Has Bob Dole actually closed on the property? If no, stipulate that it be removed/disposed of by the owner before closing.
If Bob Dole already closed, is there a reason it wasn't dealt with prior to close?

I'm sorry, but your post may be too sensible for this forum.

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by Simply Red

I'd make in a pimp greenhouse for herbs. Such as Parsley, Basil, Dill, and pot and stuff.

[philfree]

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

Tongue still attached with clear access. No a/c and breaker box is out.

Can you look under it for axels? If it's not hard to get off the spot you might find someone to pull it off for free if they can have it. You never can tell with mobile home industry it truly is a case of one mans trash if another mans treasure. Have you called any mobile home dealers or setup people? If all they have to do is put tires on it and cut the tie-downs you might get lucky. Is there a deck attached? They'll want to know that too.

Post a picture of it.

[Mrs. Loopner]

Ohhh well then, post this on Craigslist, “Free mobile home with purchase of recipe for curing hemorrhoids using beer, chocolate and walnuts.”

Is that better?

Originally Posted by kepp

I'm sorry, but your post may be too sensible for this forum.