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Old 11-14-2014, 10:25 PM  
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle

I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:32 AM   #91
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sorter View Post
Justin Houston: The Rape Dolphin.
The Chiefs defense is the Dolphin Rape Cave

The pass rush is the Rape Dolphin

Justin Houston is the prehensile dolphin penis that wraps around the leg of the QB and drags him down into the Dolphin Rape Cave
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:34 AM   #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNR View Post
The Chiefs defense is the Dolphin Rape Cave

The pass rush is the Rape Dolphin

Justin Houston is the prehensile dolphin penis that wraps around the leg of the QB and drags him down into the Dolphin Rape Cave
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:37 AM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:38 AM   #94
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Justin Houston.



He'll drag you away with his prehensile dolphin penis.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
Posts: 18,285
Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:39 AM   #95
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Originally Posted by Sorter View Post
Justin Houston: The Rape Dolphin.
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Chiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:40 AM   #96
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How glad I am that I woke up in time to see the birth of the Rape Dolphin. Roethlisberger is gonna play for Miami in the twilight of his career and I'm gonna think of this thread...
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:41 AM   #97
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Omg this thread
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Chiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliChiefs=Good 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:41 AM   #98
Sorter Sorter is offline
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Oh my ****.



. You put some ocelot spots on this thing and it's the ultimate rape creature.

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Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
Posts: 18,285
Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:43 AM   #99
Sorter Sorter is offline
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Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
Posts: 18,285
Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:44 AM   #100
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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I know you're not supposed to laugh at your own post, but this thing is so ****ing funny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:48 AM   #101
Sorter Sorter is offline
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Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
Posts: 18,285
Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:49 AM   #102
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Oh my ****.

. You put some ocelot spots on this thing and it's the ultimate rape creature.

This thread has reached Maximum Sorter.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:51 AM   #103
Sorter Sorter is offline
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Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
Posts: 18,285
Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sorter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:52 AM   #104
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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Holy shit

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
Posts: 73,900
RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.RealSNR is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:53 AM   #105
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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