Other Sports Rasslin is CHA CHA LA..LA,LA,LA,LA,LA - Page 191

Ultra Peanut · 05:12 PM

RAW. IS. FANDANGO!
#AJALL

Jerm · 02-27-2009, 06:55 AM

So the "real" Samoa Joe is a knife wielding psychopath with a giant penis tattooed on his face? Nice.

Ultra Peanut · 02-27-2009, 06:57 AM

ECW match times: 21:32
TNA match times: 19:20

Clearly, TNA needs a third hour.

Oh, and I guess the lesson Foley took from Bischoff's "butts in the seats" line is that you should put over the competition whenever possible. That's the only explanation for why he had so much praise for Randy Orton, a guy who's going to be main eventing the other company's biggest show of the year.

Mecca · 02-27-2009, 07:03 AM

EMPTY PREMISE

The empty-arena match between Kurt Angle and Sting on TNA impact! did a 1.3 rating, an all-time company high, which certainly makes it tougher to criticize.

But it made no sense. Why were Angle and Sting fighting in an empty arena? What, exactly, was the premise?

When Terry Funk and Jerry Lawler worked wrestling’s most famous empty-arena match in 1981, Funk complained that the odds in Memphis were tilted in favor of Lawler, the hometown hero. Funk claimed that everyone – the timekeeper, the referee, the ushers, EVERYONE – conspired to help Lawler, that the only way to get a fair shake would be in an empty arena, and did Lawler have the guts?

Lawler did, and the result was a match that was hardly memorable – crowd heat can’t make up for blown spots in an empty arena, nor does spectator noise loudly punctuate punches and kicks – but its mediocrity was obscured by drama that few who watched it on TV will ever forget. Lance Russell’s commentary was awesome, and I’ll always remember Funk selling “my eye…my eye.”

It all added up: Funk said he couldn’t get an honest match in Memphis, came up with an innovative way to do so, and Lawler kicked his ass.

So, why did Angle and Sting wrestle in an empty arena?

Uh, no reason. Besides the fact that somebody remembered that there was once a famous empty-arena match and gee, why don’t we have one?

The action itself wasn’t bad. Angle is just so good, and he meshes well with Sting as an opponent. But the match was between two guys from the same heel faction. Nobody was going to be favored, ergo, no need for an empty arena. And the arena wasn’t really empty: Other members of the Main Event Mafia ultimately got involved, as did security. The whole gimmick blew up like Hiroshima.

Wrestling booking needs a quality-control editor. The quality-control editor wouldn’t contribute creatively. His job would be to review completed scripts, pointing out flaws in things like logic and chronology. But hey, it’s only wrestling. Who notices flaws in logic and chronology besides the paying customers?

(One thing was HILARIOUS about the Memphis empty-arena match: Lawler arrived for it in his crown and cape, and Funk famously ridiculed Lawler for it. Lawler later said he regretted his choice of garb, as he should have. He showed up for an unattended no-holds-barred brawl dressed as the Burger King.)

YOUR PANTS ARE ON FIRE, BROTHER

Hulk Hogan has lied his way through life, and to great effect when it comes to money and notoriety. But Hogan hit the pinnacle of 55 glorious years of deceit when he told the Los Angeles Times that he was considered for the lead role in “The Wrestler” before it was given to Mickey Rourke.

Darren Aronofsky is a wrestling fan, but given Hogan’s performances in “No Holds Barred,” “Mr. Nanny” and “Suburban Commando,” it’s impossible to believe that such an accomplished producer/director looked at Hogan for a role that required playing someone other than himself.

From “Rocky III” through “Muppets from Space,” all Hogan has ever really done is play himself, and that’s dandy by him. There’s never been a more compelling character as far as Hogan is concerned.

Had Hogan played Randy The Ram, he would have doubtless played the creative-control card to change a few things:

*Instead of juicing his hand when he waited on that old lady at the deli counter, he would have press-slammed her into the olive loaf, then leg-dropped her in the middle of the potato salad. And she would have been played by Ric Flair.

*His daughter Brooke would have played Cassidy.

*He wouldn’t have sold the heart attack.

*Instead of “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” his entrance music for the final match would have been “Real American” covered by W. Axl Rose, with Jimmy Hart producing. Hart would have brought it in on time and under budget.

*Ed Leslie would have bought The Ram’s steroids for him.

IN MY DAY, WRESTLING WAS REAL. SO WERE THE MOVIES

Bruno Sammartino criticized Mickey Rourke for (allegedly) using steroids to achieve the physique he sported in “The Wrestler.”

Earth to Bruno: If Rourke used bodybuilding drugs to craft his appearance for “The Wrestler,” it didn’t result in him enjoying a competitive advantage or heightened push. He merely wanted to look the part. That’s what actors do. He was hired to play a wrestler, so he did what he had to do to look like one. It was a lot easier than finding a wrestler who wasn’t on steroids that could also act.

IT’S NOT FUNNY, BUT…

Here are two quotes from an active wrestler regarding the Verne Gagne nursing-home homicide:

*”I don’t care how old you are, nobody’s going to want to do the job.”

*”He killed his territory. What’s one guy?”

Ultra Peanut · 02-27-2009, 09:07 AM

WOOOOOO

Jerm · 02-27-2009, 09:10 AM

LOL book Flair v. KENTA NOW!!! Just kidding.

I really do hope they do book KENTA vs. Tyler Black though.

Swanman · 03-02-2009, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

WOOOOOO

It's cool that Flair is making appearances at THE Ring of Honor, but I felt bad for the dude at certain points. He is one step away from sitting on a street corner holding up a sign that says "Will WOOOOOO for food"

RUSH · 03-02-2009, 08:20 PM

Jericho=best heel ever

unothadeal · 03-02-2009, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RUSH

Jericho=best heel currently working

FYP

RUSH · 03-02-2009, 08:49 PM

Yeah you're probably right. Flair was better and I'll probably put Ted DiBiase ahead of him as well.

He's still one of the best that I have seen.

keg in kc · 03-02-2009, 09:39 PM

Kane and Mark Henry in the MitB ladder match?

Thus ends the streak of good matches.

keg in kc · 03-04-2009, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Kane and Mark Henry in the MitB ladder match?

Thus ends the streak of good matches.

Fortunately the boogeyman was axed today, so maybe they won't turn MitB to Monsters Ball with ladders.

Ultra Peanut · 03-05-2009, 08:36 PM

OMIGOSH HE CALLED HIM "STEVE," THIS MUST BE A SHOOT BROTHERRRRR!!

keg in kc · 03-06-2009, 06:39 PM

Leaked draft of last week's raw. Haven't read it yet, but may have some future spoilers in it: http://www.lordsofpain.net/news/wwe/1228.html

Ultra Peanut · 03-06-2009, 06:59 PM

INT. THE RING

Vladimir Kozlov arrives.

Shawn Michaels arrives.

Vladimir Kozlov murders the very concept of wrestling.

COMMERCIAL BREAK
------
Oh Jesus, they were setting up Jibble to take the title into Mania?

One word you'll never see in a TNA script:

Quote:

BREATHE

unothadeal · 03-06-2009, 07:19 PM

But what I am gonna do? Is qualify? For Money in the Bank? At Wrestlemania?

10-07-2007, 09:13 PM
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	Rasslin is CHA CHA LA..LA,LA,LA,LA,LA RAW. IS. FANDANGO! #AJALL Last edited by Ultra Peanut; 04-09-2013 at 05:12 PM..
Posts: 39,518

02-27-2009, 06:55 AM	#2851
Jerm Mahomes > God Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Clinton, MO Casino cash: $5868996	So the "real" Samoa Joe is a knife wielding psychopath with a giant penis tattooed on his face? Nice.
Posts: 9,769

02-27-2009, 06:57 AM	#2852
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	ECW match times: 21:32 TNA match times: 19:20 Clearly, TNA needs a third hour. Oh, and I guess the lesson Foley took from Bischoff's "butts in the seats" line is that you should put over the competition whenever possible. That's the only explanation for why he had so much praise for Randy Orton, a guy who's going to be main eventing the other company's biggest show of the year. __________________
Posts: 39,518

02-27-2009, 07:03 AM	#2853
Mecca Hockey Town Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Casino cash: $2647050	EMPTY PREMISE The empty-arena match between Kurt Angle and Sting on TNA impact! did a 1.3 rating, an all-time company high, which certainly makes it tougher to criticize. But it made no sense. Why were Angle and Sting fighting in an empty arena? What, exactly, was the premise? When Terry Funk and Jerry Lawler worked wrestling’s most famous empty-arena match in 1981, Funk complained that the odds in Memphis were tilted in favor of Lawler, the hometown hero. Funk claimed that everyone – the timekeeper, the referee, the ushers, EVERYONE – conspired to help Lawler, that the only way to get a fair shake would be in an empty arena, and did Lawler have the guts? Lawler did, and the result was a match that was hardly memorable – crowd heat can’t make up for blown spots in an empty arena, nor does spectator noise loudly punctuate punches and kicks – but its mediocrity was obscured by drama that few who watched it on TV will ever forget. Lance Russell’s commentary was awesome, and I’ll always remember Funk selling “my eye…my eye.” It all added up: Funk said he couldn’t get an honest match in Memphis, came up with an innovative way to do so, and Lawler kicked his ass. So, why did Angle and Sting wrestle in an empty arena? Uh, no reason. Besides the fact that somebody remembered that there was once a famous empty-arena match and gee, why don’t we have one? The action itself wasn’t bad. Angle is just so good, and he meshes well with Sting as an opponent. But the match was between two guys from the same heel faction. Nobody was going to be favored, ergo, no need for an empty arena. And the arena wasn’t really empty: Other members of the Main Event Mafia ultimately got involved, as did security. The whole gimmick blew up like Hiroshima. Wrestling booking needs a quality-control editor. The quality-control editor wouldn’t contribute creatively. His job would be to review completed scripts, pointing out flaws in things like logic and chronology. But hey, it’s only wrestling. Who notices flaws in logic and chronology besides the paying customers? (One thing was HILARIOUS about the Memphis empty-arena match: Lawler arrived for it in his crown and cape, and Funk famously ridiculed Lawler for it. Lawler later said he regretted his choice of garb, as he should have. He showed up for an unattended no-holds-barred brawl dressed as the Burger King.) YOUR PANTS ARE ON FIRE, BROTHER Hulk Hogan has lied his way through life, and to great effect when it comes to money and notoriety. But Hogan hit the pinnacle of 55 glorious years of deceit when he told the Los Angeles Times that he was considered for the lead role in “The Wrestler” before it was given to Mickey Rourke. Darren Aronofsky is a wrestling fan, but given Hogan’s performances in “No Holds Barred,” “Mr. Nanny” and “Suburban Commando,” it’s impossible to believe that such an accomplished producer/director looked at Hogan for a role that required playing someone other than himself. From “Rocky III” through “Muppets from Space,” all Hogan has ever really done is play himself, and that’s dandy by him. There’s never been a more compelling character as far as Hogan is concerned. Had Hogan played Randy The Ram, he would have doubtless played the creative-control card to change a few things: Instead of juicing his hand when he waited on that old lady at the deli counter, he would have press-slammed her into the olive loaf, then leg-dropped her in the middle of the potato salad. And she would have been played by Ric Flair. His daughter Brooke would have played Cassidy. He wouldn’t have sold the heart attack. Instead of “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” his entrance music for the final match would have been “Real American” covered by W. Axl Rose, with Jimmy Hart producing. Hart would have brought it in on time and under budget. Ed Leslie would have bought The Ram’s steroids for him. IN MY DAY, WRESTLING WAS REAL. SO WERE THE MOVIES Bruno Sammartino criticized Mickey Rourke for (allegedly) using steroids to achieve the physique he sported in “The Wrestler.” Earth to Bruno: If Rourke used bodybuilding drugs to craft his appearance for “The Wrestler,” it didn’t result in him enjoying a competitive advantage or heightened push. He merely wanted to look the part. That’s what actors do. He was hired to play a wrestler, so he did what he had to do to look like one. It was a lot easier than finding a wrestler who wasn’t on steroids that could also act. IT’S NOT FUNNY, BUT… Here are two quotes from an active wrestler regarding the Verne Gagne nursing-home homicide: ”I don’t care how old you are, nobody’s going to want to do the job.” *”He killed his territory. What’s one guy?”
Posts: 110,779

02-27-2009, 09:07 AM	#2854
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	WOOOOOO __________________
Posts: 39,518

02-27-2009, 09:10 AM	#2855
Jerm Mahomes > God Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Clinton, MO Casino cash: $5868996	LOL book Flair v. KENTA NOW!!! Just kidding. I really do hope they do book KENTA vs. Tyler Black though.
Posts: 9,769

03-02-2009, 08:20 PM	#2857
RUSH Starter Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: NY Casino cash: $10004905	Jericho=best heel ever
Posts: 728

03-02-2009, 08:49 PM	#2859
RUSH Starter Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: NY Casino cash: $10004905	Yeah you're probably right. Flair was better and I'll probably put Ted DiBiase ahead of him as well. He's still one of the best that I have seen.
Posts: 728

03-02-2009, 09:39 PM	#2860
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	Kane and Mark Henry in the MitB ladder match? Thus ends the streak of good matches.
Posts: 58,682

03-05-2009, 08:36 PM	#2862
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	OMIGOSH HE CALLED HIM "STEVE," THIS MUST BE A SHOOT BROTHERRRRR!! __________________
Posts: 39,518

03-06-2009, 06:39 PM	#2863
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	Leaked draft of last week's raw. Haven't read it yet, but may have some future spoilers in it: http://www.lordsofpain.net/news/wwe/1228.html
Posts: 58,682

03-06-2009, 07:19 PM	#2865
unothadeal HOF 20?? Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $5115120	But what I am gonna do? Is qualify? For Money in the Bank? At Wrestlemania?
Posts: 6,124