Life Violent, naked, pooping, masturbating home intruder. Guess where? - Page 2

teedubya · 01-23-2013, 10:34 AM

Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates

http://gawker.com/5978198

It's never a dull day in Florida, our country's most fantastic state. Let's set the scene: It's Monday, January 21, and an unnamed North Fort Myers resident is lying in bed relaxing after a hard day's work. Just after 7 p.m., he hears a noise coming from his roof — he thinks it sounds like thunder. He goes outside to investigate the disturbance, when he sees 21-year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni running on his house. Bruni leaps from the roof, tackling the man. Bruni is naked.

From there, Bruni runs into the house, hellbent on destruction. He sees a "large television" minding its own business and knocks it off its stand. He then spies a vacuum cleaner. How do you terrorize a vacuum cleaner? You don't — you just empty its contents back onto the floor. That's what Bruni does. From there, things finally start to get weird:

Bruni then headed toward the couple's son's bedroom, where several guns were stored, so the man's wife fired three warning shots from a .38 revolver.

The arrest report says Bruni fell to the floor - but then began pleasuring himself.

He got up off the floor, ran into the son's bedroom and began rubbing clothing on his face.

Police are called, and they apprehend a flailing, babbling Bruni only after Tasering him. "Tase him, bro," a cop almost certainly says. Bruni is taken to a hospital, but doctors there say they can't identify what drug he is on. The answer is either all of them, or one you've never heard of. Or bath salts. Probably bath salts.

Police charge Bruni with two counts of criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence. Everyone else in Florida goes to sleep that night, awaiting their turn.

**TinyEvel** · 01-23-2013, 03:47 PM

Calling Gblowfish...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ref=weird-news

In Florida, there are violent people, naked people, poopers and masturbators -- but rarely is one man the total package.

When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and masturbated inside the house, WTSP reports.

The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder.

The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder. She missed, and the couple called 911.

"I don't know who the hell he is -- he's naked and he ran into my damn house," Tony can be heard saying on the recording.

The Lands told authorities that after shots were fired, Bruni began whacking the mole in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face.

When deputies arrived, they attempted to control Bruni, who they say was wildly flailing around and speaking nonsensically. They also discovered that Bruni had defecated on the floor in two spots within the home.

At some point during the ruckus, investigators say, Bruni sucked up the contents of the vacuum, then spit it back out.

Bruni was taken into custody and transported to a hospital for evaluation, where doctors reportedly told deputies they planned to conduct tests to determine "what Bruni was on."

Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence.

Let's Recap The Allegations Against Bruni:
1) Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof.

2) Attacked Tony Lands by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.

3) Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.

4) Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Lands.

5) Masturbated in the living room.

6) Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room.

7) Defecated on the floor in two places.

8) Drank the contents of the vacuum.

SPchief · 01-23-2013, 03:48 PM

Crush · 01-23-2013, 03:50 PM

Frosty · 01-23-2013, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPchief

Q

Same page Q, too.

(though I missed the pooping part in the OP)

FlaChief58 · 01-23-2013, 03:52 PM

May the Q be with you

**TinyEvel** · 01-23-2013, 03:52 PM

?!?!?! I checked

**TinyEvel** · 01-23-2013, 03:53 PM

**TimeForWasp** · 01-23-2013, 03:53 PM

He ran out of purple drank.

**TinyEvel** · 01-23-2013, 03:54 PM

FlaChief58 · 01-23-2013, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinyEvel

So Cal in da hizzle

redsurfer11 · 01-23-2013, 03:58 PM

http://howtodoflorida.com/

LOCOChief · 01-23-2013, 04:05 PM

It's not Floridians doing half this shit, these wacko's come down here from out of state. OMGOMGOMGOMG.

It's funny though.

Crush · 01-23-2013, 04:08 PM

You guys ruined the Queef.

FlaChief58 · 01-23-2013, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Good to know: In Florida, if you get caught red handed committing a crime, just a) drop trou, b) fall to the floor, c) beat it like it owes you money.

Instant psyche defense!

Dont forget the large quantities if hardcore drugs

Dayze · 01-23-2013, 04:09 PM

he masturdated and sparyed hot Q all over the place.

01-23-2013, 10:34 AM
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $9490002	Today's Florida News... Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates http://gawker.com/5978198 It's never a dull day in Florida, our country's most fantastic state. Let's set the scene: It's Monday, January 21, and an unnamed North Fort Myers resident is lying in bed relaxing after a hard day's work. Just after 7 p.m., he hears a noise coming from his roof — he thinks it sounds like thunder. He goes outside to investigate the disturbance, when he sees 21-year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni running on his house. Bruni leaps from the roof, tackling the man. Bruni is naked. From there, Bruni runs into the house, hellbent on destruction. He sees a "large television" minding its own business and knocks it off its stand. He then spies a vacuum cleaner. How do you terrorize a vacuum cleaner? You don't — you just empty its contents back onto the floor. That's what Bruni does. From there, things finally start to get weird: Bruni then headed toward the couple's son's bedroom, where several guns were stored, so the man's wife fired three warning shots from a .38 revolver. The arrest report says Bruni fell to the floor - but then began pleasuring himself. He got up off the floor, ran into the son's bedroom and began rubbing clothing on his face. Police are called, and they apprehend a flailing, babbling Bruni only after Tasering him. "Tase him, bro," a cop almost certainly says. Bruni is taken to a hospital, but doctors there say they can't identify what drug he is on. The answer is either all of them, or one you've never heard of. Or bath salts. Probably bath salts. Police charge Bruni with two counts of criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence. Everyone else in Florida goes to sleep that night, awaiting their turn.
Posts: 36,649

01-23-2013, 03:47 PM	#16
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5447131	Violent, naked, pooping, masturbating home intruder. Guess where? Calling Gblowfish... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ref=weird-news In Florida, there are violent people, naked people, poopers and masturbators -- but rarely is one man the total package. When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and masturbated inside the house, WTSP reports. The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder. The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder. She missed, and the couple called 911. "I don't know who the hell he is -- he's naked and he ran into my damn house," Tony can be heard saying on the recording. The Lands told authorities that after shots were fired, Bruni began whacking the mole in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face. When deputies arrived, they attempted to control Bruni, who they say was wildly flailing around and speaking nonsensically. They also discovered that Bruni had defecated on the floor in two spots within the home. At some point during the ruckus, investigators say, Bruni sucked up the contents of the vacuum, then spit it back out. Bruni was taken into custody and transported to a hospital for evaluation, where doctors reportedly told deputies they planned to conduct tests to determine "what Bruni was on." Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence. Let's Recap The Allegations Against Bruni: 1) Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof. 2) Attacked Tony Lands by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder. 3) Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor. 4) Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Lands. 5) Masturbated in the living room. 6) Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room. 7) Defecated on the floor in two places. 8) Drank the contents of the vacuum.
Posts: 11,807

01-23-2013, 03:48 PM	#17
SPchief In Search of a Life Join Date: Feb 2004 Casino cash: $1882905	Q __________________ http://give.somo.org/site/TR/Plunge/...nal&fr_id=1244 ^^^^^^^^^^ Click here to help with a special cause. Please help me out
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01-23-2013, 03:50 PM	#18
Crush Amateur Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Casino cash: $5297091	U
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01-23-2013, 03:52 PM	#20
FlaChief58 SuperChiefs Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Florida Casino cash: $2299822	May the Q be with you
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01-23-2013, 03:53 PM	#22
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5447131
Posts: 11,807

01-23-2013, 03:53 PM	#23
TimeForWasp Sprinkle in some Mahomes Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Butte Montana Casino cash: $7678507	He ran out of purple drank. __________________ Posted via Slingshot using Rocks eBay sniper
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01-23-2013, 03:54 PM	#24
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5447131
Posts: 11,807

01-23-2013, 03:58 PM	#26
redsurfer11 Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	http://howtodoflorida.com/
Posts: 2,581

01-23-2013, 04:05 PM	#27
LOCOChief True Chiefs Fan Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bull Bay Casino cash: $6605791	It's not Floridians doing half this shit, these wacko's come down here from out of state. OMGOMGOMGOMG. It's funny though.
Posts: 5,453

01-23-2013, 04:08 PM	#28
Crush Amateur Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Casino cash: $5297091	You guys ruined the Queef.
Posts: 15,297

01-23-2013, 04:09 PM	#30
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $5209358	he masturdated and sparyed hot Q all over the place. __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial. RIP & Godspeed: Saccoppo Lonewolf Ed Fire Me Boy
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