Another potential rule to promote NFL parity.

**Rain Man** · 11-13-2005, 10:23 PM

Carl Peterson has been our GM for 16 years now.

In that time, there have been 16 Super Bowls.

There are 16 teams in the AFC.

Therefore, an average GM would have had a Super Bowl team by now. On a purely random basis, a team would have a 50 percent likelihood of reach a Super Bowl by their 11th year.

This therefore tells me two things:

1. Our GM is less effective than a randomly selected GM.

2. The fact that GMs have different abilities negatively affects the NFL's goal of parity.

Therefore, I recommend that we do away with the General Manager position for all teams and replace it with some sort of random system. For entertainment purposes, I would suggest replacing GMs with monkeys, and decisions could be made based on some sort of monkey dart-throwing, assuming that that's not dangerous to the monkeys.

What do you think?

listopencil · 11-13-2005, 10:26 PM

I think one of you should just sack up and kill the guy.

meStevo · 11-13-2005, 10:27 PM

I think you should take another drink.

**Rain Man** · 11-13-2005, 10:27 PM

If only there was a way to identify the mindless goons.

**KcMizzou** · 11-13-2005, 10:28 PM

I prefer NFL parody.

Stinger · 11-13-2005, 10:29 PM

Can we bring this system into the Offensive Cordinaters booth as well. You may be on to something

elvomito · 11-13-2005, 10:32 PM

i wonder what performance incentives are built into carl peterson's contract?
they need to be based on yearly team performance instead of ticket sales and revenue-related metrics.
as it is, he knows he will continue to get paid as long as he makes hunt & fam a billllion dolllars

chiefsfaninNC · 11-13-2005, 10:33 PM

The dart throwing monkeys have been running our drafts for too long. Let's try something else.

listopencil · 11-13-2005, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If only there was a way to identify the mindless goons.

I'm one.

**Dartgod** · 11-13-2005, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiefsfaninNC

The dart throwing monkeys have been running our drafts for too long. Let's try something else.

I agree. They should do something they are more qualified to do.

They should throw shit instead.

**Rain Man** · 11-13-2005, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by listopencil

I'm one.

You're perfect for the job. You have absolutely no motive.

Redcoats58 · 11-13-2005, 11:07 PM

I was gonna say, we already have a monkey in Carl Peterson but that is giving him to much credit, after all, you could teach a monkey how to use tools.

beavis · 11-13-2005, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You're perfect for the job. You have absolutely no motive.

I nominate you for the GM position. Not that you're a monkey, but surely through your statistical analysis, you could figure out how to win a playoff game in the next 10 years.

HolmeZz · 11-13-2005, 11:20 PM

I'm leaning towards the dart-throwing monkeys because I believe that's closest to CP's current approach.

**RealSNR** · 11-13-2005, 11:24 PM

I think it'd be cheaper if we just made all GMs use these for all decisions.

Hidden cameras would be placed in all areas of the office to make sure no secret conferencing would take place

View Poll Results: Which GM system do you support?
I like the current system of having a human GM.	2	11.11%
We should replace human GMs with dart-throwing monkeys to promote parity.	11	61.11%
I have a different idea, which I will describe.	2	11.11%
I have no ideas. I'm more of a mindless goon.	3	16.67%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

11-13-2005, 10:23 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3408491 VARSITY	Another potential rule to promote NFL parity. Carl Peterson has been our GM for 16 years now. In that time, there have been 16 Super Bowls. There are 16 teams in the AFC. Therefore, an average GM would have had a Super Bowl team by now. On a purely random basis, a team would have a 50 percent likelihood of reach a Super Bowl by their 11th year. This therefore tells me two things: 1. Our GM is less effective than a randomly selected GM. 2. The fact that GMs have different abilities negatively affects the NFL's goal of parity. Therefore, I recommend that we do away with the General Manager position for all teams and replace it with some sort of random system. For entertainment purposes, I would suggest replacing GMs with monkeys, and decisions could be made based on some sort of monkey dart-throwing, assuming that that's not dangerous to the monkeys. What do you think?
Posts: 141,213

11-13-2005, 10:26 PM	#2
listopencil Immanentize The Eschaton Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In Partibus Infidelium Casino cash: $2315880	I think one of you should just sack up and kill the guy. __________________ Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has...it has stolen.
Posts: 55,890

11-13-2005, 10:27 PM	#3
meStevo Starter Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Las Vegas, NV Casino cash: $7470025	I think you should take another drink.
Posts: 411

11-13-2005, 10:27 PM	#4
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3408491 VARSITY	If only there was a way to identify the mindless goons. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,213

11-13-2005, 10:28 PM	#5
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170	I prefer NFL parody.
Posts: 54,695

11-13-2005, 10:29 PM	#6
Stinger Bazinga Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $4344507	Can we bring this system into the Offensive Cordinaters booth as well. You may be on to something __________________
Posts: 10,179

11-13-2005, 10:32 PM	#7
elvomito ☻☺ Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: ♠█♠ Casino cash: $10004900	i wonder what performance incentives are built into carl peterson's contract? they need to be based on yearly team performance instead of ticket sales and revenue-related metrics. as it is, he knows he will continue to get paid as long as he makes hunt & fam a billllion dolllars
Posts: 2,362

11-13-2005, 10:33 PM	#8
chiefsfaninNC Starter Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Greensboro NC Casino cash: $10004900	The dart throwing monkeys have been running our drafts for too long. Let's try something else.
Posts: 941

11-13-2005, 11:07 PM	#12
Redcoats58 MVP Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City Mo. Casino cash: $10005055	I was gonna say, we already have a monkey in Carl Peterson but that is giving him to much credit, after all, you could teach a monkey how to use tools.
Posts: 5,234

11-13-2005, 11:20 PM	#14
HolmeZz i guess its bittersweet poetry Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: NeW HaVeN, CT Casino cash: $10004900	I'm leaning towards the dart-throwing monkeys because I believe that's closest to CP's current approach.
Posts: 16,520