Teaching your kids to drink

[pikesome]

Some background...When I was younger my parents and my father's parents had a disagreement over alcohol in the house. Both of my parents were tea-toodlers, not for religious reasons, they just didn't drink anymore. My grandparents, on the other hand, had been social drinkers since recorded history. They never had any problems with it, always knew their limits and very, very rarely got more than tipsy. My grandfather, in particular, thought that it was unwise for me and my siblings to learn to drink outside of the house while my mother wasn't going to serve alcohol in her home just so we (us kids) could drink.

I have a son who will, likely, have some exposure sometime in a few years regardless of whether I want or not. My wife and I don't drink anymore, it's been years since I had more than 1 beer in a day and probably longer for her. We don't have any reasons for my kids to not drink, I just want them to know what's what before they're in a position where youthful invincibility and inexperience combine to get him in trouble. I have no plans to be that parent who lets his kids drink at home so they're not drinking other places, on the other hand, I'm not going to run a bar.

Anyone been through this before? How'd you handle it? Did you screw up along the way? I'm not looking to be overly permissive, I like to run a tight ship at home but alcohol is a part of life, starting in HS for a large number of kids and I'd rather be ahead of problems than looking for rehab clinics or caskets.

[chasedude]

Have you talked with them about Drugs too?

[pikesome]

Originally Posted by chasedude

Have you talked with them about Drugs too?

The wife, a pediatric nurse in a PICU, has covered that. With all of the nursing school classes on drug effects and that sort it's been gone over. I think we've done about the best possible on that front, at least till he gets a bit older. Drugs being illegal helps, that's why I worry a bit more about drinking.

[chasedude]

Originally Posted by pikesome

The wife, a pediatric nurse in a PICU, has covered that. With all of the nursing school classes on drug effects and that sort it's been gone over. I think we've done about the best possible on that front, at least till he gets a bit older. Drugs being illegal helps, that's why I worry a bit more about drinking.

They're underage so it's illegal... that's a good selling point.

[trndobrd]

Originally Posted by chasedude

They're underage so it's illegal... that's a good selling point.

In Kansas it's legal to serve your children alcohol.

[RustShack]

Unless your kids have a 4.0 and no "cool" friends, your ****ed. Probably 90% of high schoolers drink. Most of the time parents will think their kids are in the right crowd that doesn't do that, they are wrong. There are the obvoius kids that drink, the ones who you think do but they really don't, and the ones who drink that you would never think would.

[chasedude]

Originally Posted by trndobrd

In Kansas it's legal to serve your children alcohol.

No Sh*t ?! Learn something new everyday.

[Pushead2]

beat them into submission of no drinking.

[pikesome]

Originally Posted by chasedude

They're underage so it's illegal... that's a good selling point.

Based on my own experiences, maybe not good enough. And when he hits 21 it suddenly becomes legal. I think it'd be prudent to have some familiarity before he's forced to make decisions on his own.

[pikesome]

Originally Posted by trndobrd

In Kansas it's legal to serve your children alcohol.

There's quiet a few rules to this but, yea, in essence it is.

[RustShack]

Tell them you don't care if they have a couple friends over for beers every once in a blue moon, and not to drink and drive. Tell them if the police ever catch them not to call you, and they are on their own.

[trndobrd]

Originally Posted by chasedude

No Sh*t ?! Learn something new everyday.

Doesn't mean that you can buy them a case and send them on their way to the party, or buy a keg when you leave on vacation. Child endangerment laws still apply, so you can't teach a 6 year old how to shotgun beers.

[phisherman]

Originally Posted by RustShack

Unless your kids have a 4.0 and no "cool" friends, your ****ed. Probably 90% of high schoolers drink. Most of the time parents will think their kids are in the right crowd that doesn't do that, they are wrong. There are the obvoius kids that drink, the ones who you think do but they really don't, and the ones who drink that you would never think would.

agreed completely.

as the husband of a teacher, there are A TON of parents that say, "my child wouldn't do that".

makes me laugh; i was a clean cut kid in high school and i partied my a** off. it was SO easy to get away with it since I was such a "good kid". parents of my friends wouldn't suspect at all.

my parents were wise though to my shenanigans. they just tried to get me to use my best judgement and not harm others.

on the other hand, my wife grew up in a house where wine and beer were served regularly and never in excess, except by her parents. you'd think that growing up around responsible use would have kept her from getting crazy in college. WRONG. no matter how much you show your kids what's correct, they're still going to want to figure things out for themselves.

i just hope that when i have kids that they'll have enough of a sense of right/wrong to make those kinds of decisions.

[trndobrd]

Give the kid a bottle of bourbon, then make him get up and mow the lawn the next morning.

[RustShack]

Your not going to be able to stop them, just hope they are smart with it.