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Old 07-14-2018, 01:08 AM  
baitism baitism is offline
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Divorce....

Well, yeah it sucks. Could someone who has been through a divorce with a spouse that was cheating send me a PM? Kansas laws. I need to get the hell out of this situation and could use some advice. Thanks.
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Old 07-14-2018, 09:43 AM   #46
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Old 07-14-2018, 09:55 AM   #47
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Old 07-14-2018, 09:56 AM   #48
cooper barrett cooper barrett is offline
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Best way to get them both is to drain all of her ability to get a good ass lawyer to fight you in court, so if she wants a strong lawyer he will have to give her the money.
Again some fine advice but you assume he (3rd party) is in the game for keeps.



When you choke off the cash you run the risk that you come home, depending on the circumstances, to find your Snap-on tool cabinet, your electronics, and gun safe gone so you may second guess that advice.

In no fault divorce, you want to settle things and not appear in front of a judge unable to make an agreement.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:00 AM   #49
rabblerouser rabblerouser is offline
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Originally Posted by cooper barrett View Post
Again some fine advice but you assume he (3rd party) is in the game for keeps.



When you choke off the cash you run the risk that you come home, depending on the circumstances, to find your Snap-on tool cabinet, your electronics, and gun safe gone so you may second guess that advice.

In no fault divorce, you want to settle things and not appear in front of a judge unable to make an agreement.
You must've missed the part where he advised to get everything of value out immediately.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:04 AM   #50
BryanBusby BryanBusby is offline
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Originally Posted by cooper barrett View Post
Again some fine advice but you assume he (3rd party) is in the game for keeps.



When you choke off the cash you run the risk that you come home, depending on the circumstances, to find your Snap-on tool cabinet, your electronics, and gun safe gone so you may second guess that advice.

In no fault divorce, you want to settle things and not appear in front of a judge unable to make an agreement.
Who gives a goddamn **** if he's for keeps or not? Not your problem. You must not of read the post I made at all.

You don't worry about your stuff because you get all that shit out in a hurry and somewhere she can't get to, or knows about. Is some of that shit you've just taken stuff she's in entitled to in the end? Yeah, sure, possibly.

But until that point, that's less shit for her to pawn or sell to get funds to hire a better lawyer to **** you over.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:09 AM   #51
cooper barrett cooper barrett is offline
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Great if she is an idiot, Just hire 2 men and a truck and have them load up all the good stuff.

When her credit (debit) card doesn't work to buy food for the kids: It's (the war) is on.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:12 AM   #52
BryanBusby BryanBusby is offline
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The OP said nothing about kids, so...
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:14 AM   #53
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Sorry to hear this baitism.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:30 AM   #54
Carr4MVP Carr4MVP is offline
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Originally Posted by cooper barrett View Post
Please sight cases where this has happened in Kansas?

I know a few, or did, Kansas specialty divorce lawyers who deal with tax, trust, and family areas and they all told me, for future reference, that unless there are extenuating circumstances that a prenup is gold. All the way down to family issues such as where the kids spend Christmas!
I have had friends who suffered through it. However, they aren't from Kansas. Glad to hear that Kansas has its shit together on that front.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:32 AM   #55
Carr4MVP Carr4MVP is offline
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If you haven't mentioned you found out she's cheating, or the Divorce word than right now you're in good shape. If not, you need to literally drop everything you're doing right this very second and do this next step.

Get to whatever places you bank at jointly and set up new accounts ASAP and dump all of your liquid funds into them. Some of it hers too? Well, feel free to charge a processing fee and take that shit too. Do that before she does it to you, because she absolutely will.

Anything else that she could somehow access that you don't want her to access? Get her the **** off that shit right ****ing now.

Once you're done with that, you need to secure your own dwelling and do it fast. House, trailer, sad bachelors studio apartment, whatever the **** it is do it. This is also a time you can start working on the lawyer front.

Whenever she's out to work or out ****ing her new man, that's when you roll up the moving truck to quickly pack your shit up and get the **** out.

Get your shit first, debate what shit is hers and what is yours after the fact. After that is complete, that's when you start dropping the truth bombs on her ass.

I'd want to complete everything from start to finish in 48 hours and would "treat her to a weekend out" to help avoid having that interference. If you can't get a place to put all your stuff so quickly, put it in a storage locker for now.

The main key here is to remove all your assets before she can even realize what the **** is going on, as until you officially do that she can take whatever of yours she feels like helping herself to. I watched a friend go through the proceedings and he followed all these steps and it was the most jedi mind trick shit I've seen.
Excellent advise, sir.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:35 AM   #56
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Dude... ****ing let his wife know. That ****er disrespected you and could jeopardize your livelihood and emotional well being.. You put him in his place with his life. **** him.
Eh. He did what shitty men do. But at the end of the day, she let him. She's the one who disrespected baitism. The guy will get his eventually but I don't agree in telling the wife. That's just too petty and could open up a whole new can of worms you don't want.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:37 AM   #57
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Sorry, brother, adultery is a complete heart punch. That crap hurts.

you need someone to vent to let me know.

The fact that judges don't care about it is disheartening.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:39 AM   #58
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Who gives a goddamn **** if he's for keeps or not? Not your problem. You must not of read the post I made at all.

You don't worry about your stuff because you get all that shit out in a hurry and somewhere she can't get to, or knows about. Is some of that shit you've just taken stuff she's in entitled to in the end? Yeah, sure, possibly.

But until that point, that's less shit for her to pawn or sell to get funds to hire a better lawyer to **** you over.
This is a good way to set the judge against you from the start. If you succeed in preventing her from getting a lawyer it might work out, but if she gets a loan from her parents, her lawyer will make you look like a jackass to the court. If you leave her with the kids and no money you are hurting your custody chances and likely increasing you child support.

OP,
My wife does family law, pm me if you want contact info.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:43 AM   #59
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If you do get a divorce, donít fight all the small insignicant stuff. The only people that gain from fighting over trivial issues are lawyers.
And the people who work for them.

My firm is basically an all things for rich people type of place. Nothing like some high level corporate prick who left his ice cold wife of 20 years for the plastic-titted receptionist. These people get so wrapped up in rage that they'll expend $50,000 in legal fees fighting over a $500 vase. Luckily, I work on the commercial side. I definitely prefer dealing with professional clients who just want to close a deal and move on to the next deal to butthurt emotional wrecks.

At the end of the day, unless the wife smokes crack in the courtroom, she's going to get custody of the kids, and if she made less money or didn't work at all, alimony. Often even documented, iron clad evidence of infidelity doesn't factor in. It's ridiculous how pro wife most judges are. And of course taking care of the children is always paramount in their eyes. Remember the case where the man was proven to not be the father of a kid, but got stuck paying child support anyway? IIRC, that was in Kansas.

My advice - suffer in silence until the kids are grown, and then try to split as amicably as possible. And hope she dies of natural causes in the interim.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:44 AM   #60
Carr4MVP Carr4MVP is offline
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Sorry, brother, adultery is a complete heart punch. That crap hurts.

you need someone to vent to let me know.

The fact that judges don't care about it is disheartening.
It is kind of ridiculous considering the nature of marriage vows and marriage itself.
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