This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by Phobia

What is wrong with this idiot?

http://www.today.com/news/swimming-c...val-2D11745905
Before his swim meet on Dec. 7 had even started, Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, decided he was not only going to compete in honor of his biggest rival, but also win the top trophy in the event and give it to him.

The Santa Claus Invitational marked the second straight meet where Zuchowski and his father checked the entry sheet and did not see the name of friendly rival Reese Branzell, 10, from Lake Lytle, Fla. Branzell had been hospitalized on Nov. 8 with a bacterial infection in his hip for nearly two weeks and was unable to compete.

Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
“Josh got very emotional and he just said, 'Dad I feel horrible for him, is there something we can do?'’’ Josh’s father, Jonathan Zuchowski, told TODAY.com. “Then he said, 'I expect to win five gold medals in this meet, so what do you think if I swim for him and if I win the high point trophy, I'll give it to him?'

“He wrote the card he was going to give Reese before he even swam the race. The card said, 'I swam for you today, and I want to give you this trophy.’’’

Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Josh, who is from Jupiter, Fla., accomplished his goal of winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter in the meet.

When it was over, he gave the trophy to Reese’s swim coach with a card that read, "I am so sorry that you have not been feeling well. Get well soon. So we can get back to battling in the pool. I have looked up to you since I was seven. You were an inspiration for me wanting to swim fast. I would rather get second with you at the meet then win with you absent. I won this trophy for you today. I hope to see (you) back in the pool. Your friend, Josh.’’

The two have been swimming against one another for three years and often rank 1-2 at the meets where 9- and 10-year-olds compete in the same races. Reese has since been released from the hospital and has been on antibiotics for the infection. His family was blown away by the gesture.

“They said it was the single nicest act that anyone has ever done for him and his family,’’ Jonathan said. “For Reese, it helped lift his morale to think, ‘Here's my No. 1 competitor, and he's thinking about me.’ That made him feel that much better to get back into the pool and do what he loves.”

There were other swimmers on his team who didn’t understand why Josh would give a trophy he won to a competitor.

“He definitely has a big heart,’’ his father said.

“I can’t believe I’m getting all this attention for doing the right thing,’’ Josh told TODAY.com.

Though they plan to continue dueling in the pool in the coming years, the two have become closer friends since the trophy trade.

“I think the true significance of the trophy might be that it might be the most special win of his life," Josh's father said, "and he was doing it for someone else.’’

It's the ultimate bulletin board material. You got a consolation prize in the form of first place because you couldn't be there? That's a pecker slap right in the piehole. If I had a competitor's spirit and not the lame ass brokedck one I'm currently in possession of, this patronizing move would red ass me enough that I would seek to own this kid in every single event he holds dear for the rest of his life.

Swimming? I'm making Phelps' preparation in the pool look comical. Spelling bee? E-n-d-o-p-l-a-s-m-i-c-r-e-t-i-c-u-l-u-m, bitch. Basketball? Double-doubles on double-doubles pussy. Getting women? Orgies with the varsity cheerleaders as a freshman mother****er.

[gblowfish]

God is a big fan of irony:

http://tinyurl.com/lg2nbte

A judge who presides over a drug court in Florida is entering rehab after unprofessional acts on the job.

Broward County Judge Gisele Pollack, who has been open about her past troubles with alcohol, admits she suffered a relapse, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. Other media outlets alleged that she was drunk in court on Tuesday, the day that her behavior seemed inappropriate.

On Tuesday, she abruptly adjourned the misdemeanor drug court that she founded after being in session for only 90 minutes.

Later, she was allegedly seen screaming at an assistant and demanding that someone return her car keys to her, CBS Miami reported. It appeared to an unnamed source that she had been crying.

The Miami New Times reported that another judge intervened to remove Pollack from the courtroom after she cursed at a co-worker, saying the employee would be fired.

A judge for nine years, Pollack, 55, earns $134,280, according to the Sun Sentinel.

Pollack didn't return to work on Wednesday, but on Thursday she told reporters that she'd take two weeks off for "an intense outpatient program," the Sun Sentinel said.

While campaigning in 2004, Pollack came under fire for violating the spirit of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings by essentially delivering stump speeches to the other addicts in attendance.

[scho63]

Sounds more like a riot!

Five teenagers were arrested when a 600-person brawl broke out in a Florida movie theater's parking lot on Christmas night.

Described by police as a "melee," the fight occurred around 8:30 p.m. on Wednesday outside the Hollywood River City 14 movie theater in Jacksonville when a group tried to storm the theater's doors without purchasing tickets, police said. Several had rushed an off-duty police officer working as a security guard.



The officer "administered pepper spray to disperse the group, locked the doors and called for backup, following protocol," said Lauri-Ellen Smith, a spokeswoman for the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.

Soon after the pepper spray was used, "upward of 600 people moving throughout a parking lot about the size of a football field began fighting, disrupting and jumping on cars," she said.

Sixty-two police officers were called to the scene to break up the brawl, "sequestering them and separating them," Smith said.

Only minor injuries and damage to property were reported. No gunshots were fired, according to Smith.

600 People Involved in Movie Theater Brawl, 5 Arrested
All five of the people arrested on the scene were charged with crimes related to fighting. Three of those arrested, including one minor, were charged with felonies. Two other juveniles, who have not been named by police, were charged with misdemeanors.

Tevyn Alonza Davis, 19, was charged with resisting arrest and breach of the peace. Jaquade Marquis Miller, 18, was charged with fighting and resisting arrest. Khalil Ahmad Bradley, 17, the only minor charged with a felony, was arrested for resisting arrest, refusal to disperse and breach of the peace.

Davis and Bradley each "took a fighting stance" when confronted by police and told to leave the area, according to arrest reports. Miller, too, "took an aggressive stance" when told by police to leave the parking lot.

According to the movie theater's website, the cinema was showing "Tyler Perry's A Medea Christmas," "47 Ronin," "Grudge Match," "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" along with several other movies.

[gblowfish]

It wouldn't be New Years without new Florida News!

http://tinyurl.com/n43hm2d

A Florida man is facing battery charges after allegedly assaulting his wife with a turkey neck.

Michael Mullady was arrested last Thursday after he got into a verbal argument with his wife when she wouldn't let him have the checkbook.

Then he allegedly began breaking things in the kitchen of their home in Spring Hill, Fla., ABC Action News.com reported.

When Mullady's wife tried to walk away, cops say he grabbed a turkey neck from the counter, struck her in the neck with it, then threw it at her as she retreated, RawStory.com reported.

Authorities said Mullady admitted throwing the turkey neck at his wife, but did not recall striking her on the neck,TampaBay.com reported.

He was placed under arrest and charged with one count of domestic battery. He was released on $1,000 bail and ordered not to go near his wife.

[gblowfish]

Florida News has been jumpin' since the New Year began. Here's an overview of stuff that has already happened just nine days into 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/crazy...n-florida?bffb

[Halfcan]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Florida News has been jumpin' since the New Year began. Here's an overview of stuff that has already happened just nine days into 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/crazy...n-florida?bffb

wow that is some list!

[BlackHelicopters]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Florida News has been jumpin' since the New Year began. Here's an overview of stuff that has already happened just nine days into 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/crazy...n-florida?bffb

[MahiMike]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

It's the ultimate bulletin board material. You got a consolation prize in the form of first place because you couldn't be there? That's a pecker slap right in the piehole. If I had a competitor's spirit and not the lame ass brokedck one I'm currently in possession of, this patronizing move would red ass me enough that I would seek to own this kid in every single event he holds dear for the rest of his life.

Swimming? I'm making Phelps' preparation in the pool look comical. Spelling bee? E-n-d-o-p-l-a-s-m-i-c-r-e-t-i-c-u-l-u-m, bitch. Basketball? Double-doubles on double-doubles pussy. Getting women? Orgies with the varsity cheerleaders as a freshman mother****er.

Well ain't you just a ray of sunshine?

[gblowfish]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...usaolp00000009

You butter not cross this woman.

Florida woman Jennifer Feagley, 24, allegedly beat her roommate with a cane during an argument about butter, then blamed it on pregnancy hormones, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

Volusia County Sheriff's deputies say Feagley, who is 6 months pregnant, became enraged when her 59-year-old roommate, Patricia Marson, put butter on the stove Tuesday night. Feagley allegedly whomped Marson in the head, got on top of her and punched her multiple times before busting out a cane and hitting her five times with it.

When deputies arrived, they say Feagley told them that hormones from her pregnancy were causing her anger, according to Click Orlando. She also said that she has schizoaffective disorder, but has not been taking medication because of the pregnancy.

Butter isn't the only food to inspire unbridled rage recently. Last week, an Iowa man was arrested after allegedly pulling a knife on his brother for eating too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

[gblowfish]

Kayla Shavers, of New Port Richey, was charged with child neglect after police say she left her two young children in a freezing car on Thursday to go hog hunting, WTSP reports.

The 31-year-old who said she went after the hogs because they had been tearing up her property, allegedly left her 9-year-old and 8-month-old alone in the car, which was not running, around 7 a.m. on Thursday. The temperature was 38 degrees, according to WPTV. The 9-year-old did not have a coat.

The 9-year-old called 911, saying he was cold and "a police car would be warmer," according to Bay News 9. Police say they aren't sure how long the children were alone in the car, but after arriving at the scene it was about 40 minutes before Shavers emerged from the woods, clad in camo.

"Kudos to that little 9-year-old boy," Sheriff Chris Nocco told WTSP. Nocco says the boy may have saved the baby's life.

Authorities say Shavers claimed she was close enough to the car to respond if her children needed help. She also allegedly said she left the keys in the car for the 9-year-old to turn it on if needed, but he apparently wasn't able to do so.

More:
http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/artic...go-hog-hunting

[BlackHelicopters]

Mother of the Year

[Dr. Gigglepants]

Man accidentally shot self in road rage incident, Orlando police say

[gblowfish]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...n_4659520.html

Race Car Driver Rogerio Scotton Wants To Show Jury His Sex Tapes

Jurors are the finders of facts and -- if one Florida race car driver has his way -- the watchers of homemade porn.

Rogerio Scotton, 42, of Boca Raton, faces 26 counts of mail fraud and is also accused of marrying his wife for immigration purposes, according to the SunSentinel.

Scotton, who is representing himself after dismissing six defense attorneys, said this week he wants to show the jury a sex tape featuring himself and his wife to prove that his marriage wasn't a sham cooked up to get the Brazilian racer permanent residence status.

U.S. District Judge Robin Rosenbaum urged Scotton to come to an agreement with prosecutors that would eliminate the need to show jurors the intimate footage.

"I don't think that it would be fair to your wife," Rosenbaum told Scotton to which the defendant replied, "Why is the privacy of my wife important at this point? I'm facing jail time."

WPTV reports that Scotton was arrested in connection to his mail-order business in which he shipped products at cut-rate prices, allegedly by setting up phony accounts with UPS and FedEx.

He faces up to 20 years in jail if convicted.

[gblowfish]

Highway sign this AM in Pensacola, Florida:

[beach tribe]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Highway sign this AM in Pensacola, Florida:

Lived there for 9 years. Never snowed once.