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Old 05-20-2013, 03:00 PM  
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
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101 random roasts by misc Roastmasters - Thread #2

As a spinoff to the successful NFL Network's version of this and from the drama thread, it has come to fruition that this thread must be created.

Each day Hootie will reveal a member starting with 101 and working his way in order to number 1. I will update the OP as I see the names revealed.

*Warning this thread may cause a severe case of butthurt*

Let it begin!!

Hootie's List

Saul Good - A little about Roaster #2 (by frazod)
Spoiler!

85 BigRedChief
Spoiler!


84. StevieRay
Spoiler!


83. Rustshack
Spoiler!


82. KCnative
Spoiler!


81. Notorious
Spoiler!


80. Braincase
Spoiler!


79. big nasty kcnut
Spoiler!


78. crazycoffey
Spoiler!



77. Phobia

Spoiler!


76 Dave Lane

Spoiler!


75 KnowMo roasted by PGM
Spoiler!


74 Luv roasted by Mr. Flopnuts
Spoiler!


73. Mr Flopnuts
(by Iowanian)
Spoiler!


72. patteeu (by frazod)
Spoiler!


71. Bob Dole
Spoiler!

70. Sweet Daddy Hate/Raised On Riots/Darth CarlSatan (roasted by Clay)
Spoiler!

69.Setsuna (by rico)
Spoiler!

68. Burt (by J Diddy)
Spoiler!


67. petez28 (by PGM)
Spoiler!

Last edited by Pasta Little Brioni; 07-01-2013 at 09:02 AM..
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:46 PM   #121
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Ahh, nothing like losing the moral high ground to Hootie. It takes skill.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:46 PM   #122
Phobia
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Fair enough.
Not really. Now I really am being a big meanie.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:47 PM   #123
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71. Bob Dole

To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure that Bob actually exists. Sure, I've seen pictures of him, and I've heard people tell stories about seeing him in person...but I've seen pictures and heard stories about The Loch Ness Monster and Chupacabra as well. Frankly, the pictures and stories of him aren't that dissimilar to those of Bigfoot, so I remain skeptical.

When Bob was still a young schoolboy...shortly after the Treaty of Versailles was signed to end the Great War...he set out to make some friends. The popular kids played football, but Bobby was far too frail for such hurly-burly. He blamed his feebleness on polio, but the truth is...he was just a little bitch. That option being off the table, he did the next closest thing. He became a male cheerleader. Even in the dust-bowl days, it was pretty pathetic. I mean, he wasn't even one of the strong male cheerleaders who got to touch the girls' asses. He was more the "Rah Rah Rah, Sis Boom Bah" type. Unfortunately for little Bobby D, his cracking voice sounded even worse through a megaphone. Disappointed, but not discouraged, he turned in his sweater and joined the band and found his true calling.

He still had no discernible talent, but the victrolas used in those days weren't exactly high fidelity, so his shortcomings were less noticeable. Eventually, he got a full-time gig in Show Biz...as a member of the Rock-afire Explosion. It wasn't exactly Fibber McGee and Molly, but it beat working in the mines for two bits an hour, so he stuck it out for decades before ultimately being replaced by an automatonic Bear named Billy Bob.

Older, but wiser, he decided to start his own band. He went to his old high school's Battle of the Bands competition where he recruited new members by playing up his ability to buy beer for the band (a huge selling point for young teens) and get senior discounts at the Black Eyed Pea (less of a factor in their decision). Bob Dole was back.

Unfortunately for Bob and the rest of the band, this was back when MTV still played videos, and this radio star was the first casualty. It wasn't all bad, though. He did have a slight brush with fame when his song "Get Out of My Yard, Get Off of My Lawn" was overheard by a young Billy Ocean who later popularized a slightly re-branded version. Bob still receives royalty checks...and Social Security checks.

Pros: Voted for FDR four times. Invented the Hot Toddy

Cons: Still uses an old Sears catalog as spank material because he swears he saw a nipple showing through one of the lacier bras. (Bob...I know what you think you saw, but trust me on this one. The "red spot" you saw is simply an imperfection in the paper...not a nipple. I know this to be true because it's a black and white catalog). Eats dinner at 2 PM before leaving dimes as a tip.

Outlook for 2014: Falls. Can't get up.
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Last edited by Saul Good; 06-26-2013 at 03:53 PM..
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:50 PM   #124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good View Post
71. Bob Dole

To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure that Bob actually exists. Sure, I've seen pictures of him, and I've heard people tell stories about seeing him in person...but I've seen pictures and heard stories about The Loch Ness Monster and Chupacabra as well. Frankly, the pictures and stories of him aren't that dissimilar to those of Bigfoot, so I remain skeptical.

When Bob was still a young schoolboy...shortly after the Treaty of Versailles was signed to end the Great War...he set out to make some friends. The popular kids played football, but Bobby was far too frail for such hurly-burly. He blamed his feebleness on polio, but the truth is...he was just a little bitch. That option being off the table, he did the next closest thing. He became a male cheerleader. Even in the dust-bowl days, it was pretty pathetic. I mean, he wasn't even one of the strong male cheerleaders who got to touch the girls' asses. He was more the "Rah Rah Rah, Sis Boom Bah" type. Unfortunately for little Bobby D, his cracking voice sounded even worse through a megaphone. Disappointed, but not discouraged, he turned in his sweater and joined the band and found his true calling.

He still had no discernible talent, but the victrolas used in those days weren't exactly high fidelity, so his shortcomings were less noticeable. Eventually, he got a full-time gig in Show Biz...as a member of the Rock-afire Explosion. It wasn't exactly Fibber McGee and Molly, but it beat working in the mines for two bits an hour, so he stuck it out for decades before ultimately being replaced by an automatonic Bear named Billy Bob.

Older, but wiser, he decided to start his own band. He went to his old high school's Battle of the Bands competition where he recruited new members by playing up his ability to buy beer for band (a huge selling point for young teens) and get senior discounts at the Black Eyed Pea (less of a factor in their decision). Bob Dole was back.

Unfortunately for Bob and the rest of the band, this was back when MTV still played videos, and this radio star was the first casualty. It wasn't all bad, though. He did have a slight brush with fame when his song "Get Out of My Yard, Get Off of My Lawn" was overheard by a young Billy Ocean who later popularized a slightly re-branded version. Bob still receives royalty checks...and Social Security checks.

Pros: Voted for FDR four times. Invented the Hot Toddy

Cons: Still uses an old Sears catalog as spank material because he swears he saw a nipple showing through one of the lacier bras. (Bob...I know what you think you saw, but trust me on this one. The "red spot" you saw is simply an imperfection in the paper...not a nipple. I know this to be true because it's a black and white catalog). Eats dinner at 2 PM before leaving dimes as a tip.

Outlook for 2014: Falls. Can't get up.
Horrible.

Bob Dole is a saint.
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Quote:
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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:50 PM   #125
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"Voted for FDR Four Times"
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:50 PM   #126
Sorter Sorter is offline
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Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
Not really. Now I really am being a big meanie.
I'm sure he'll survive.

If not, then I suppose the world is saved from him procreating.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:52 PM   #127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good View Post
71. Bob Dole

To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure that Bob actually exists. Sure, I've seen pictures of him, and I've heard people tell stories about seeing him in person...but I've seen pictures and heard stories about The Loch Ness Monster and Chupacabra as well. Frankly, the pictures and stories of him aren't that dissimilar to those of Bigfoot, so I remain skeptical.

When Bob was still a young schoolboy...shortly after the Treaty of Versailles was signed to end the Great War...he set out to make some friends. The popular kids played football, but Bobby was far too frail for such hurly-burly. He blamed his feebleness on polio, but the truth is...he was just a little bitch. That option being off the table, he did the next closest thing. He became a male cheerleader. Even in the dust-bowl days, it was pretty pathetic. I mean, he wasn't even one of the strong male cheerleaders who got to touch the girls' asses. He was more the "Rah Rah Rah, Sis Boom Bah" type. Unfortunately for little Bobby D, his cracking voice sounded even worse through a megaphone. Disappointed, but not discouraged, he turned in his sweater and joined the band and found his true calling.

He still had no discernible talent, but the victrolas used in those days weren't exactly high fidelity, so his shortcomings were less noticeable. Eventually, he got a full-time gig in Show Biz...as a member of the Rock-afire Explosion. It wasn't exactly Fibber McGee and Molly, but it beat working in the mines for two bits an hour, so he stuck it out for decades before ultimately being replaced by an automatonic Bear named Billy Bob.

Older, but wiser, he decided to start his own band. He went to his old high school's Battle of the Bands competition where he recruited new members by playing up his ability to buy beer for band (a huge selling point for young teens) and get senior discounts at the Black Eyed Pea (less of a factor in their decision). Bob Dole was back.

Unfortunately for Bob and the rest of the band, this was back when MTV still played videos, and this radio star was the first casualty. It wasn't all bad, though. He did have a slight brush with fame when his song "Get Out of My Yard, Get Off of My Lawn" was overheard by a young Billy Ocean who later popularized a slightly re-branded version. Bob still receives royalty checks...and Social Security checks.

Pros: Voted for FDR four times. Invented the Hot Toddy

Cons: Still uses an old Sears catalog as spank material because he swears he saw a nipple showing through one of the lacier bras. (Bob...I know what you think you saw, but trust me on this one. The "red spot" you saw is simply an imperfection in the paper...not a nipple. I know this to be true because it's a black and white catalog). Eats dinner at 2 PM before leaving dimes as a tip.

Outlook for 2014: Falls. Can't get up.
And you thought my patteeu roast was lame?
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:52 PM   #128
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Bob Dole is entertaining. He'll get a kick out of him when somebody reads that to him.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:52 PM   #129
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Saul you have a talent for this that is unmatched on this board. Kudos, sir.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:53 PM   #130
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Originally Posted by Sorter View Post
I'm sure he'll survive.

If not, then I suppose the world is saved from him procreating.
Assuming he hasn't already.
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:56 PM   #131
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
GOOD LORD THAT WAS LONG
thats what she said

but no, even though it was all hootie focused, it was too long
Can't help it loochay. I am the anti-Donger.


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Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
tl;dr
Yeah-yeah;yeah-yeah-yeah

Quote:
Originally Posted by J Diddy View Post
could I get you to spoiler tag that so I don't have to scroll 3 pages please.
I don't know how.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Why did you bold the semicolons?
Haha, you caught that? That's funny that you noticed that. Great, now I'm beginning to like you. I didn't want the "H's" all running together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmo20002 View Post
OMG

I'm going to have to schedule a time on my Outlook calendar to get through this. Cancel my meetings today--Rico posted something!
Definitely...what I posted is VITAL information.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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Old 06-26-2013, 03:57 PM   #132
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Haha, you caught that? That's funny that you noticed that. Great, now I'm beginning to like you. I didn't want the "H's" all running together.
It's the only thing I noticed, to be honest.
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Old 06-26-2013, 04:00 PM   #133
rico rico is online now
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It's the only thing I noticed, to be honest.
Haha, oh. **** YOU, DONGER!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!

















jk.
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tl;dr

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
Posts: 13,239
rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-26-2013, 04:02 PM   #134
COchief COchief is offline
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It's getting pretty weak in here gentlemen... you know when Iowanian jumps in to try and help the ship from sinking things are getting tough.

Rico (who is this? the new "fax"?)
I read about 10% of each of your hootie roasts including the one that had like a 10 page buildup. You are absolutely terrible at these and should never do one again, your first slam was "hurr u gay sidecar-ed by a 20 year old Seinfeld joke". Just stop it please, your horde of fax-like ball lickers is warping your brain, much like Bieber fans have him believing he is a once in a generation musical talent, he's not (sorry) and neither are you when it comes to comedy.

Luv, Knowmo, and Bob Dole should have been easy homeruns for any long-time member, alas they did not meet expectations.

Is there an official list with the posters and numbers, or is everyone just picking at random? This is starting to piss me off, if I see a name I "like" I may have to jump in.
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Old 06-26-2013, 04:03 PM   #135
rico rico is online now
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I liked the Bob Dole roast.

Did any other n00bs get the "pm Bob Dole, he'll be happy to answer your question" treatment whenever you asked a question? If so, how'd it go? I always wondered about the joke behind that.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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